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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What should I do if anything: DS friend's mom farted in front of the boys and there's a whole group chat about it

227 replies

Evangeli · 03/06/2022 20:27

This is actually not as light-hearted as seems.

DS16 friend's mom "Sally" is lovely woman, known them for years, have had dinners and so on at each other's places. We are also friends. We sometimes go on occasional walks with each other. She has mentioned she has digestive issues and can't go on long walks needs the washroom.

On one of these walks, "Sally" gave a really loud fart- there was silence and we talked about other things. Stupid stupid me later texted my DD (who also knows the family well) just as laugh "went for a walk with Sally she farted really loudly haha" and DD responded "omg haha" and that was that.

Fast forward a couple of months later- a couple of the boys were having a sleepover at their place (not DS- I had picked him up earlier), and apparently they heard her fart loudly and obviously found that hilarious. DS told me about it and they simply seem unable to stop talking about it- literally made a group chat named after her fart and just ridiculous silliness.

My involvement is that in the context of that conversation with DS, I happened to mention the earlier fart on the walk and made the stupid mistake of showing my text with DD "see- she does that- it's not a big deal", and before I could stop him, DS took my phone, screenshotted the text and sent it to the group chat so now I basically added fuel to the fire and I feel awful.
Also awful if the poor boy whose mother it is finds out, and if/when Sally will see my text.
We live in a small town and this is the entertainment we have, except it actually does bother me and I yelled at DS and told him he violated my privacy (he does not make a habit of screenshotting my texts).

I am actually bothered by this even though I have real life problems this is living rent-free in my head as the young 'uns say.

is there anything I can do to mitigate this situation.

OP posts:
Lifeismeh · 03/06/2022 22:26

I see you haven’t returned yet OP.

For future reference with your super speedy son - it’s worth knowing that there’s multiple steps to screen shotting, sending, receiving, saving and/or forwarding, selecting group chat, sending picture.

Basically… you absolutely had time to stop it.

you also had time to stop it by not saying it in the first place.

Duploduplex · 03/06/2022 22:27

You're full of hot air!

mistermagpie · 03/06/2022 22:27

Either you and your son are both horrible people or this is made up.

AskforJanice · 03/06/2022 22:28

You are pathetic OP. I’m embarrassed for you not ‘Sally’

Branleuse · 03/06/2022 22:28

Id tell the boys that its gone too far and you want the group chat deleted. Say 'seriously lads, yeah farts are funny and I laughed too, but might be a medical issue so not cool to gossip" Its one thing joking privately with your kids, but the groupchat thing is not ok.

Apart from that id just try and forget about it. The woman either doesnt care that shes farting or shes got a medical issue and if shes doing it in front of teenagers then they will take the piss. Sad for her but up to her to sort out.
Kids will forget it soon enough

Duploduplex · 03/06/2022 22:28

The fact that she told you she had digestive issues makes this seem all the more cruel.

Also, we all 'fart'.

Ponoka7 · 03/06/2022 22:28

There's also sexism rooted in the 'hilarity'. You can bet that those in the group are farted in front of by the boys they grew up with and the men around them, but choose to laugh at a woman who farts.

sst1234 · 03/06/2022 22:29

“We live in a small town and this is the entertainment we have”. I’ve heard it all now. What a pathetic excuse.

TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo · 03/06/2022 22:30

Ironytheoppositeofwrinkly · 03/06/2022 20:34

If you think that anyone believes that your son took your phone, screenshotted the text, then sent it into a group chat that YOU'RE NOT OART OF, all before you could stop him, then you're as stupid as you sound. Both you and your son are insufferable children by the sounds of things. I hope Sally sees your text and has nothing to do with you again.

100% this.

QuebecBagnet · 03/06/2022 22:30

I can’t believe any 16yo are that interested in anyone’s mum that they start a group chat, not for something as mundane as farting. All 16yos fart.

sst1234 · 03/06/2022 22:30

stairgates · 03/06/2022 20:32

If Sally is happy trumping away then I'm sure she will see the humour in a group of lads been so in awe of her skills😂I wouldn't worry too much about it

You sound as nasty as OP. Do you also live in the same “small town”.

TrifleFunny · 03/06/2022 22:32

You need to get back to English Lang revision

SoWhyArentYouDead · 03/06/2022 22:32

sst1234 · 03/06/2022 22:29

“We live in a small town and this is the entertainment we have”. I’ve heard it all now. What a pathetic excuse.

Yep. I grew up in a small town. Teens had sex and smoked weed. 😂

Pickabearanybear · 03/06/2022 22:33

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

Sleepingsatellite1 · 03/06/2022 22:33

This didn’t happen.

IheartJKRowling · 03/06/2022 22:34

You are a nasty bully and have raised your son to be just like you. I had to undergo bowel surgery, it was bloody painful and the weeks and months after it were a nightmare. I won't entertain you with the details in case you laugh yourself silly and then pass them on to everyone you know but one of the after effects of the surgery was farting loudly and unexpectedly, it was awful and made me not want to leave the house.

The worse thing about this is you know she has medical issues but still think it's OK to mock her, you really are a nasty piece of work. What do you do for an encore, laugh at people in wheelchairs?

sst1234 · 03/06/2022 22:35

I bet OP is the type that tells people to ‘be kind’.

SpeedofaSloth · 03/06/2022 22:38
Biscuit
Cosyclothes · 03/06/2022 22:39

I have had some issues with flatulence since the birth of my baby 2 months ago. My husband and family have been so supportive about it. If I found out a friend had made fun of me behind my back because of it I would be so hurt. You are mean.

Northernsoullover · 03/06/2022 22:43

I don't believe this actually happened. It's half term...

Onesipmore · 03/06/2022 22:44

OP, your breath smells as bad as Sally's fart. Hilarious right??

Adeleskirts · 03/06/2022 22:45

Oh you just couldn’t stop him taking your phone. Screen shotting it and sending it to the chat. Aye.

im not sure if you think posters are idiots? It’s clear you showed him and permitted that.

what a horrible horrible thing you did. A grown woman too. I hope you’re ashamed of yourself.

you are a bully and you’re raising bullies, and you’re bullying a woman with health issues. Go you.

LondonMaybe · 03/06/2022 22:48

Wow

Gilead · 03/06/2022 22:50

If Sally is happy trumping away then I'm sure she will see the humour in a group of lads been so in awe of her skills😂I wouldn't worry too much about it
I have Chrons and UC if this family did this to me, I’d be devastated. Occasionally my stoma ‘farts’ , it’s deeply embarrassing trying to explain at a checkout or till. I’m usually easy going about most things but this is someone having their dignity taken away. It’s cruel.

HereIAmBrainTheSizeOfAPlanet · 03/06/2022 22:51

@Evangeli where have you gone?