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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What should I do if anything: DS friend's mom farted in front of the boys and there's a whole group chat about it

227 replies

Evangeli · 03/06/2022 20:27

This is actually not as light-hearted as seems.

DS16 friend's mom "Sally" is lovely woman, known them for years, have had dinners and so on at each other's places. We are also friends. We sometimes go on occasional walks with each other. She has mentioned she has digestive issues and can't go on long walks needs the washroom.

On one of these walks, "Sally" gave a really loud fart- there was silence and we talked about other things. Stupid stupid me later texted my DD (who also knows the family well) just as laugh "went for a walk with Sally she farted really loudly haha" and DD responded "omg haha" and that was that.

Fast forward a couple of months later- a couple of the boys were having a sleepover at their place (not DS- I had picked him up earlier), and apparently they heard her fart loudly and obviously found that hilarious. DS told me about it and they simply seem unable to stop talking about it- literally made a group chat named after her fart and just ridiculous silliness.

My involvement is that in the context of that conversation with DS, I happened to mention the earlier fart on the walk and made the stupid mistake of showing my text with DD "see- she does that- it's not a big deal", and before I could stop him, DS took my phone, screenshotted the text and sent it to the group chat so now I basically added fuel to the fire and I feel awful.
Also awful if the poor boy whose mother it is finds out, and if/when Sally will see my text.
We live in a small town and this is the entertainment we have, except it actually does bother me and I yelled at DS and told him he violated my privacy (he does not make a habit of screenshotting my texts).

I am actually bothered by this even though I have real life problems this is living rent-free in my head as the young 'uns say.

is there anything I can do to mitigate this situation.

OP posts:
nocoolnamesleft · 03/06/2022 20:39

Your son behaved badly, rudely, and immaturely. Which is hardly surprising as it is how you behaved.

Cherrysherbet · 03/06/2022 20:39

I wouldn’t want you as a “friend”.
You should feel very ashamed for being so nasty.
I just couldn’t imagine doing that to someone.

Grow up.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 03/06/2022 20:39

I think there must be very little to do in your small town, for this to be the subject of a text to DD, then digging out the text again. You sound about five. Do you laugh if you have to use the 'bottom' too? Hmm

ElenaSt · 03/06/2022 20:39

So it's okay for you to have a laugh with your daughter about the poor woman's unfortunate parp, but not ok for your son and his friends to revel in it behind her back?

Double standards.

Isitcake · 03/06/2022 20:39

Maybe stop acting like a teenage bitch and act your age? Some people have issues, gossiping and taking the piss out of them for it is not acceptable.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 03/06/2022 20:40

If you have to use the word bottom.

alqoqjn · 03/06/2022 20:40

School holidays 🤨

Ohhhhladz · 03/06/2022 20:40

I could certainly be entirely wrong here, but it does strike me as a distant but not completely unlikely possibility that none of you would have found this nearly as remarkable, hilarious, or time-consuming if Sally's (hypothetical) overweight aging husband had farted once or twice.

BeenHereForYonkyDoodles · 03/06/2022 20:40

GreyTS · 03/06/2022 20:29

You are an arsehole, hope that helps moving forward

Again this.

druto · 03/06/2022 20:40

it's a fart! do you not have much going on in your lives/neck of the woods for this to be big news?

StepAwayFromGoogling · 03/06/2022 20:41

Yep, you're an arsehole. No, there's nothing you can do to mitigate it. I hope you get shunned, because you deserve to be.

Sunbeams · 03/06/2022 20:41

If you really cared about your friend's feelings, you get those messages deleted. If your friend had bowel cancer would this still be funny to your kids. What's happened to "Be kind".

ElenaSt · 03/06/2022 20:41

Message from Sally to you and your family -

WishILivedInThrushGreen · 03/06/2022 20:42

Oh dear...!

Rogue1001MNer · 03/06/2022 20:43

Normally I don't join in if there's a pile on, but in this case I'm going to. Just to add my voice to the disgust at your behaviour as a so-called friend.

Yes, you need to make it right.

Awful and nasty. A horrible example to your children

HailAdrian · 03/06/2022 20:43

16yo Boys are THAT entertained by flatulence, really?

TheHateIsNotGood · 03/06/2022 20:44

Did she 'snap and fart' or just fart.

Lagertha6 · 03/06/2022 20:45

Hahaha I love this reply! Cheered me right up!

42isthemeaning · 03/06/2022 20:45

Shouldn't you be revising for Maths Paper 2?

GrandSlamFinale · 03/06/2022 20:45

We live in a small town and this is the entertainment we have

What you're describing isn't entertaining. It's pathetic shaming of a woman's health condition which she can't control.

I get that you're not happy about your children's reactions, but where did they learn it from? It can't be the first time one of you has made a joke about someone else like that. They've learnt that behaviour somewhere - and now it jumps out at you because you feel it's inappropriate.

It's not entertainment. Hope that helps.

TheDuchessOfMN · 03/06/2022 20:46

HailAdrian · 03/06/2022 20:43

16yo Boys are THAT entertained by flatulence, really?

Yes, I’d believe that.

It’s more unusual that their mother would be in on it too Hmm

Lagertha6 · 03/06/2022 20:47

Awful behaviour from you all and really bad patenting. Poor woman has health issues and is more than likely mortified.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 03/06/2022 20:47

Such maturity and kindness has clearly rubbed off on your children.

Owlilac · 03/06/2022 20:50

And the apple didn't fall far from the tree with your DD and DS did it

What did her DD do that's so wrong, she said omg haha in reply to her mum, that's all.

Pippainthegarden · 03/06/2022 20:51

Oh dear, you seriously messed up there. Well wish you luck digging yourself out of that one, for Your’s and Sally’s sake

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