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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What should I do if anything: DS friend's mom farted in front of the boys and there's a whole group chat about it

227 replies

Evangeli · 03/06/2022 20:27

This is actually not as light-hearted as seems.

DS16 friend's mom "Sally" is lovely woman, known them for years, have had dinners and so on at each other's places. We are also friends. We sometimes go on occasional walks with each other. She has mentioned she has digestive issues and can't go on long walks needs the washroom.

On one of these walks, "Sally" gave a really loud fart- there was silence and we talked about other things. Stupid stupid me later texted my DD (who also knows the family well) just as laugh "went for a walk with Sally she farted really loudly haha" and DD responded "omg haha" and that was that.

Fast forward a couple of months later- a couple of the boys were having a sleepover at their place (not DS- I had picked him up earlier), and apparently they heard her fart loudly and obviously found that hilarious. DS told me about it and they simply seem unable to stop talking about it- literally made a group chat named after her fart and just ridiculous silliness.

My involvement is that in the context of that conversation with DS, I happened to mention the earlier fart on the walk and made the stupid mistake of showing my text with DD "see- she does that- it's not a big deal", and before I could stop him, DS took my phone, screenshotted the text and sent it to the group chat so now I basically added fuel to the fire and I feel awful.
Also awful if the poor boy whose mother it is finds out, and if/when Sally will see my text.
We live in a small town and this is the entertainment we have, except it actually does bother me and I yelled at DS and told him he violated my privacy (he does not make a habit of screenshotting my texts).

I am actually bothered by this even though I have real life problems this is living rent-free in my head as the young 'uns say.

is there anything I can do to mitigate this situation.

OP posts:
SailingNotSurfing · 03/06/2022 21:59

You are a revolting bully, making a joke of someone's medical condition, and encouraging your children to join in.

I would hate to be friends with someone as childish and unlikeable as you.

lunar1 · 03/06/2022 21:59

You son is a bully because he learned it from you. I hope this woman has some actual friends.

Jalepenojello · 03/06/2022 22:02

You’re literally as bad as each other. Why even start this thread. Look at your parenting

jessicaemily · 03/06/2022 22:03

You're just worried you're going to get found out for being unkind and bitchy to your friend. I'm glad I'm not friends with you. You sound immature and bitchy. What kind of example do you set your children by being like that? Shameful..

Dementedswan · 03/06/2022 22:07

I'd definately not want to be your friend, especially as you know she can't help it

oakleaffy · 03/06/2022 22:07

Everyone farts occasionally,
Even The Queen.

Big deal.

A “Trumpet Involuntary “ is
some to be ignored if at all possible .

If someone has digestive issues , so they can’t venture far from a loo- That’s horrible for them.

Not something to giggle over.

Saz12 · 03/06/2022 22:09

OP, you’re worried you’re going to get aught out in your nastiness. Sally who is “lovely” might find out youre a snide bully? Really, that’s what your “problem” comes down to

so, here’s a thought....: stop being nasty?

WibblyWobblyJane · 03/06/2022 22:12

Obviously you have to begin Olympic level farting any time these boys are around.

DanielRicciardosSmile · 03/06/2022 22:12

BetterCallBarry · 03/06/2022 20:58

Is everyone pretending that they wouldn't mention to a family member if someone did a really loud fart in public?!

I probably would've told my mum and everyone inlived with.

Have a sense of humour!

Outside in the open you would have to fart really loud to be heard. Bowel issues or not I would've found it hilarious.

No, I have better things to talk about than someone farting in public.

If you're so entertained by it that you'd have to tell everyone you know, then perhaps you need to find a hobby. Or a life.

Onthedunes · 03/06/2022 22:13

So what's she got

Diviticulitus, ceoliac disease, IBD, IBS, hemeroids, colitus, divericular disease, polyps or something even more sinister.

Nice woman.

Why not go the full hog and post her full name and address on here to continue feeding the joke.

I honestly don't know how middle aged women can get to this age and still be clueless.

Midso · 03/06/2022 22:14

Sooo, you know she has digestive issues yet you still found it funny enough to share with your kid? This is being a bully and sounds like your kids have learned bad habits from you.
Sally needs a better friend…
I have Crohn’s disease and you can’t hold it in but as long as it amuses people like you…

ArchieStar · 03/06/2022 22:14

As someone with digestive issues this has made my anxiety rocket through the roof. I try to make light of it when it happens in public but wow. Well done you.

LicoricePizza · 03/06/2022 22:16

Why have you never educated yr kids that she has a digestive condition & can’t help it? Ie empathy for her not amusement at her expense.

PostMenPatWithACat · 03/06/2022 22:16

Only an initial post from the op I see.

If this is real op I suggest you have a conversation with your son and dd about complications of birth: prolapsed bladders, rectoceles, weakened anal sphincters, etc. All naturally occurring embarrassing difficulties with unavoidable symptoms.

Meanwhile as you had a snigger to your dd about something so potentially embarrassing and hurtful, I would suggest it is difficult for your son to behave any differently from his mother.

My only hint at forgiveness is that you all.suffer possibly from congenital nastiness and pisstakery. I hope they is a lasting cure for the congenital problem.

It's a long time since I read such a nasty thread.

kickingupdaisies · 03/06/2022 22:18

OP, you are not a bully. I don't know why posters - I have only read the first page - are being so poisonous and OTT, but that is Mumsnet vipers for you! Although I have no actual advice, please don't take anyone's online 'advice' too seriously!!!

Iamacatslave · 03/06/2022 22:18

Sits back with a bag of popcorn.

lljkk · 03/06/2022 22:18

What is the deletion message going to say?

MNHQ: Thread Deleted because ...
"The OP was full of hot air"

"We decided that trolls should go trumpet away to their heart's content under some other bridge"

"That's enough ridiculous silliness for one night"
?

Abouttimemum · 03/06/2022 22:19

i literally fart all day every day. I mean it hurts to hold it in, why would anyone do that!? It’s just normal bodily functions. I’d expect kids to laugh about it and I’d laugh too 🤣 but Christ I wouldn’t text my mates / kids / family if someone farted in front of me. I’m a fully grown adult. How dreadful! Do you not fart!?

fall on your sword situation I think.

Blueskylightnight · 03/06/2022 22:19

This has to be fake! A grown woman and a gang of 16 year olds cannot be this pathetic.

Rogue1001MNer · 03/06/2022 22:19

DanielRicciardosSmile · 03/06/2022 22:12

No, I have better things to talk about than someone farting in public.

If you're so entertained by it that you'd have to tell everyone you know, then perhaps you need to find a hobby. Or a life.

Clearly a sock

Cryingintherain99 · 03/06/2022 22:20

Two words - Grow up!!

Apollonia1 · 03/06/2022 22:20

This reminds me of my mum (who has IBS) going for a walk with my 3-year old niece.
My mum passed wind, but thought my niece hadn't noticed.

After a pause my niece politely said " I do those all the time, Granny, and burps."

So it's bad when a 3-year old handles a farting situation better than you did, OP. I presume this isn't true anyway.

Mariposista · 03/06/2022 22:21

Everyone likes a fart joke but this has gone too far. The group needs to be deleted and the boys reminded that everyone farts, it’s normal!

Herejustforthisone · 03/06/2022 22:22

🧦

PriamFarrl · 03/06/2022 22:25

you texted your DD to laugh at a woman’s bodily function. What next? Hahaha. I heard Sally wee. Hahaha, Sally has her period.

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