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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What should I do if anything: DS friend's mom farted in front of the boys and there's a whole group chat about it

227 replies

Evangeli · 03/06/2022 20:27

This is actually not as light-hearted as seems.

DS16 friend's mom "Sally" is lovely woman, known them for years, have had dinners and so on at each other's places. We are also friends. We sometimes go on occasional walks with each other. She has mentioned she has digestive issues and can't go on long walks needs the washroom.

On one of these walks, "Sally" gave a really loud fart- there was silence and we talked about other things. Stupid stupid me later texted my DD (who also knows the family well) just as laugh "went for a walk with Sally she farted really loudly haha" and DD responded "omg haha" and that was that.

Fast forward a couple of months later- a couple of the boys were having a sleepover at their place (not DS- I had picked him up earlier), and apparently they heard her fart loudly and obviously found that hilarious. DS told me about it and they simply seem unable to stop talking about it- literally made a group chat named after her fart and just ridiculous silliness.

My involvement is that in the context of that conversation with DS, I happened to mention the earlier fart on the walk and made the stupid mistake of showing my text with DD "see- she does that- it's not a big deal", and before I could stop him, DS took my phone, screenshotted the text and sent it to the group chat so now I basically added fuel to the fire and I feel awful.
Also awful if the poor boy whose mother it is finds out, and if/when Sally will see my text.
We live in a small town and this is the entertainment we have, except it actually does bother me and I yelled at DS and told him he violated my privacy (he does not make a habit of screenshotting my texts).

I am actually bothered by this even though I have real life problems this is living rent-free in my head as the young 'uns say.

is there anything I can do to mitigate this situation.

OP posts:
GreyTS · 03/06/2022 20:29

You are an arsehole, hope that helps moving forward

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 03/06/2022 20:30

GreyTS · 03/06/2022 20:29

You are an arsehole, hope that helps moving forward

This^

RunningFromInsanity · 03/06/2022 20:30

Both you and your son are bullies. What a lovely family.

HangOnToYourself · 03/06/2022 20:31

Why would you text your daughter that, that makes you almost as bad as the boys. I'm sorry but this "before I could stop him" he took my phone and screenshotted it sounds like bs. I would be more inclined to believe you found it hilarious at first and sent him the screenshot and now your worried she will find out that you were in on it.

stairgates · 03/06/2022 20:32

If Sally is happy trumping away then I'm sure she will see the humour in a group of lads been so in awe of her skills😂I wouldn't worry too much about it

Etinoxaurus · 03/06/2022 20:32

Flipping heck, that’s horrible. There’s nothing you can do but have a word with yourself. Stop trying to be a cool mum and grow up.

GrazingSheep · 03/06/2022 20:32

The apple didn’t fall far from the tree.

restedbutexhausted · 03/06/2022 20:32

Maybe confess to your "friend" and hope she forgives you. Get ready for some grovelling.

BobbinHood · 03/06/2022 20:33

I’m not sure there’s anything you can do to mitigate it now but bloody hell, I hope you’ve learned your lesson.

Maireas · 03/06/2022 20:33

RunningFromInsanity · 03/06/2022 20:30

Both you and your son are bullies. What a lovely family.

Indeed.

Testina · 03/06/2022 20:33

You shouted at him for violating your privacy?
Well you didn’t shout that from the moral high ground.

This has to be made up - you’re one nasty piece of work otherwise.

HalfShrunkMoreToGo · 03/06/2022 20:33

Your son needs a talk because what he and his friends are doing is mean and bullying. Why did he think it was OK to take your phone, screenshot the message and send it to everyone, and what does it say about his behaviour and your parenting that he felt it acceptable to do it in front of you?

The mickey taking on group chat needs to stop now, your son needs to make that clear to his friends and he needs to stop engaging/driving it forwards.

Ironytheoppositeofwrinkly · 03/06/2022 20:34

If you think that anyone believes that your son took your phone, screenshotted the text, then sent it into a group chat that YOU'RE NOT OART OF, all before you could stop him, then you're as stupid as you sound. Both you and your son are insufferable children by the sounds of things. I hope Sally sees your text and has nothing to do with you again.

lookforthesun · 03/06/2022 20:34

“Before I could stop him” 😵‍💫

you are all nasty. This isn’t funny. Why would you text your dd that it’s just horrible. The poor woman.

humptydumptysatonawall · 03/06/2022 20:35

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree does it, you've both taken the piss out of her on messages- I would even say you're worse as the adult!

EarringsandLipstick · 03/06/2022 20:35

This is a tall story. If any part of it is true, you're absolutely awful. However - reported.

GiltEdges · 03/06/2022 20:36

What a horrible person you are. And the apple didn't fall far from the tree with your DD and DS did it

Luredbyapomegranate · 03/06/2022 20:36

GreyTS · 03/06/2022 20:29

You are an arsehole, hope that helps moving forward

Yep

Quirkycarrot · 03/06/2022 20:36

At first I missed that your DS is 16, thought we were talking primary school. Your kids are immature and rude and so are you. Poor Sally.

Atbrakingpointyouknow · 03/06/2022 20:36

Remind me how old you are on your next birthdy????? 9 or 10?

Grow up.

KylieCharlene · 03/06/2022 20:36

Poor Sally

You don't sound s very good friend OP.
The woman confided in you about her issues and you think it fit to share her fart with your teens.

MistyRuins · 03/06/2022 20:36

You are angry at your DS for violating your privacy, when you a) send a text to your daughter about it and then b) showed it to your son knowing he was in a group chat that he would share this with (even if he hadn't screenshotted it).

You honestly sound as bad as him. This should be bothering you. I'm not sure that you can do anything about it now.

I have nothing against fart jokes, but not when they are at the expense of someone that isn't privvy to the joke and has digestive issues.

NiqueNique · 03/06/2022 20:37

Uh huh.

Biscuit
YetAnotherNameChange111 · 03/06/2022 20:38

before I could stop him, DS took my phone, screenshotted the text and sent it to the group chat.

Yeah, right. He grabbed your phone, grabbed his, took a picture, went on the group chat, uploaded the pic all so quickly you didnt have chance to stop him? Is he The Flash?

Pull the other one, it has bells on. At any of those stages you could have easily stopped him.

melissasummerfield · 03/06/2022 20:38

So you made fun of your friend who you know has a medical condition, to your children? You sound delightful OP.