To wonder what this means-fwb?

[SunflowerEvie]

Hi all,

I am currently in a friends with benefits type of situation. I am due to go over to his house tonight but I started my period this morning. I have told him that it has started and his response is ‘it’s not all about the sex baby, we can do other stuff you know’

Does this mean he sees this more than a sexual relationship? I really was not expecting that response from him. I thought he would want to rearrange but I’m actually pleasantly surprised.

I've just read all your other posts. Christ he's as creepy as they get. Run for the hills!!!!! Who sits there playing with their bits like that. And all the other stuff too. If it looks like a duck, sounds like a duck and walks like a duck it probably is a duck, and in this case he's a fucking weirdo!😳😳😳

Baby Girl 😩I think he’s been watching to much 365 days. He sounds vile. Block and delete is the only way to go with this one otherwise you are going to end up more hurt than you already are.

This is good advice.

This man is as bottom of the barrel as it is, and yet still manages to get a woman servicing his every sexual need, and hanging around for his (utter) scraps.

Can you imagine a decent man behaving this way for some grim, cringey, sub-standard woman?

I can’t.

I really hope the blinkers are coming off, OP.

You say your self-esteem is low (which it clearly is, for you to be having anything to do with the sort of man most women wouldn’t touch with a barge pole). Well, continuing to hang around this drop-kick is going to do nothing but erode it further.

You deserve better. Hopefully some time soon you will realise it.

Not just about sex, is your answer, don't read too much into it.

You've...read OPs other posts, right? It's very much just about the sex.

I was thinking of a science programe I heard recently where in the insect world the female sometimes decides after mating that the male is better as a protein snack than a potential father partner etc. I can’t help thinking that this man is of the protein snack variety as others said a Poundland Christian Grey .
The mask had truly slipped and his projections are kind of infantile ‘ Here it is’ like its the seventh wonder of the world in his frontroom and pre coital fag .
OP if anything your instincts that were so right couldn’t stoop low enough for the surprise that was no surprise sadly.
Disappointing I know but this guy is is not emotionally evolved enough to take on your feelings hence the bringing it back to his needs over yours.
you just will have to make do with an emotionally available lover from now on worst case scenrio thats where your benchmark now is because its what you need . We have all learnt those lessons believe me you are not alone

This man is ridiculous and PERFECT for a benefits only situation. You couldn’t possibly take him serious as a partner.

There are 0 benefits.

Feeling low again today. I reckon that he probably is getting off on the fact he is effecting me like this!!

You've given him too much power. You should take a deep breath and send a text finishing this once and for all. Then you can start getting over it. He sounds absolutely repulsive, you'll see that when you're out of the fog.

Just post online for a new fwb. You will have endless men falling over themselves to flatter you. Even if you don't do anything, that should cheer you up.

The problem is that when a man is sticking his penis in you, the oxytocin causes you to lose sight of what’s real. If he stops doing that, you won’t like him any more, I’m honestly speaking from experience.

Nothing changes if nothing changes.

In my late teens I had a 'relationship' like this, so I know it's not as easy to walk away as people might think. It was with an older guy who I fooled myself into believing cared about me. I convinced myself that I was mature and adventurous, not having the type of conventional relationship my peers had.

Deep down I knew it benefited him far more than me, but accepting this meant accepting some uncomfortable truths, so I brushed off the occasional doubts. Eventually, I slowly realised I deserved and wanted more, but even more so that I didn't want it from him.

Going solo was a little unnerving, but I promised myself that I wouldn't have any contact with him, and would do my best not to think about him, for a month. I figured that should be enough to break the habit. It worked. I think once that decision is made, you'll be surprised how strong your resolve can be.

I really feel to send the text now but I’m feeling a bit scared. I feel like I’m just wasting my days waiting around for him. I’m just worried about being lonely to be honest

@SunflowerEvie just send it! Then come back here and we'll keep you company.

Get yourself on a dating site and set up a string of nights out with different men. Don't stay with this grotesque creep because you're scared of being lonely!!

@SunflowerEvie sending the text won’t make you feel any more lonely than you do right now. Do you feel cherished by this man? If not, he is not right for you. Give yourself a chance at something better

Thank you all. @ProudThrilledHappy I definitely don’t feel cherished by him. I feel like something disposable

Stay with him and you'll never feel better than you do now - used, and 'grimy'. Send that text, he won't give a damn anyway, because his heart is far from involved. Block him if necessary, and never, ever let him near you again. You might miss him for a time, but you'll soon meet someone to give you a real relationship, and you'll see and feel such a difference. To be cherished, respected and cared for, will make you feel far better than you do now. Only then will you realise how low you were scraping. Do it .... now, and get happy! x

To be honest the more you have revealed about him the more wary I feel for you.

There are red flags all over the place linked to manipulation, control, narcissistic "love bombing", taking for granted, lack of interest in you as a person, not calling you by your name, "pet like" childish names etc.

Please, please please break it off now! Good sex isn't worth this!!

What’s vile about it? It’s a natural bodily function, it has never bothered me and I’ve never come across a man it bothers either.

Send the text OP.

You will feel your self-esteem start to grow the minute you hit send. It's not a rude or even a 'final' text, it's just a 'this isn't working for me' text. The ball is then in his court. If he replies to say "ok, no worries", you know that you were just a bit of a fun and can at least know you ended things with dignity. If he decides he wants to work harder at not being a Poundland Christian Grey, then you can decide what you are worth and how hard he needs to work.

Right now, you have no power. Take some.

I agree. I've never met a heterosexual man who was repulsed by period blood. Sometimes I can't manage if it's too painful/messy but most men aren't bothered as long as they get their rocks off...