Long time lurker finally registered because fed up of seeing this kind of rubbish on here, from women ffs.
As a DA/SA survivor, it terrifies.
Haven’t heard OP complain once, rather the opposite.
She’s disclosed she has come from an abusive relationship into this. OP has done nothing wrong. Many women like myself can think a relationship where we aren’t getting our heads kicked in must be a Good Thing. Abusive men are predators who know how to select a victim.
She needs support, the Freedom Programme etc.
The BDSM is a red herring for more arsehole behaviour. Just gives him an ‘excuse’ to be controlling and inflict pain while pretending it’s part of what is a nuanced legit community. I bet he’s a choker as well….rough sex defence and all that
It is not as simple as LTB. So ‘do it’ and this kind of BS is just as misogynistic and mean as women who say they ‘can’t understand why women just don’t leave DV and it can’t have been that bad or they’d leave etc’
You don’t understand, no. So don’t shame women who have trauma reactions. Learn.
Plus, this fuckweasel lives on OP’s street. She is right to handle things carefully, for her safety. Would not surprise me at all if he turns when rejected. Either goes nasty or tries to hoover up with some love bombing.
OP is demonstrating strength by recognising his behaviour and being on this thread and working toward getting rid of Mr ‘Please God Dettol my Playroom’