Meeting male colleague for coffee. Aibu

[monkeysox]

Speaking to recently single DF today.
She mentions messaging former colleagues and arranging meeting for a coffee.
One of said colleagues is married with DC.
Aibu in thinking his DW may not be ok with it?

I’m 37 married and I meet my 57 year old married male colleague for coffee every so often.

my DH doesn’t bat an eyelid and I don’t think colleague’s DW does either.

we just get along well

YABU

I say I’m married because I don’t think being single or married necessarily makes a difference

I'm sure his DW can form her own opinion.

You do know that men have full control of their penises and single women aren't after your husband? I have no issue with DH meeting with female colleagues/friends for coffee he works in quite a female dominated department and I work in a very male environment, I even go to the pub with my male colleagues God forbid!

I'd find it strange if out of the blue my DH told me he was meeting a female former colleague who is newly single.

Are you mad? Or is this a reverse? Why wouldn’t you want your partner to meet a former colleague for coffee?

Wouldn’t bat an eyelid if my partner met up with a friend or former colleague for coffee, whether they’re recently single or not.

My opinion is that it is inappropriate and could open the door to people thinking something more is happening than is the case. I definitely wouldn't go and meet a male work colleague for a drink and I know my DH would not be happy either.

I wouldn’t and haven’t batted an eyelid. I’d expect DH to be the same because he trusts me (and frankly if either of us wanted to cheat we could so that trust us essential). I’m afraid I always assume the person worrying is projecting what it would mean if they did the same, which isn’t fair but it’s my default assumption.

Wow, I think this is totally normal. In my industry it's important to network and that includes with former colleagues, regardless of gender / relationship status.

God forbid your friend and her colleague have a good working relationship...

YABU.

I catch up with my former colleagues for a drink or coffee every now and then (we all started at the same time and became friends at work). I don't see an issue with this and neither does my DP.

My DH goes out for lunch with current and former female colleagues. I travel internationally with a male colleague.

We trust each other so it's not something that even crosses our mind as being a problem.

Yanbu, but that's because dh keeps all colleagues as colleagues. He isn't interested in making friends outside the office. In any case, yes I would find it weird if he did this because he usually wouldn't.

His wife may well not be ok with it.

If she's not then that's for her to tell her husband and him to decide what he wants to do.

Your friend is inviting several people for coffees. One happens to be married. 🤷‍♀️

Nothing alarming about that Unless coffee is code for ram it up me, big boy.

I've met numerous married male colleagues over the years and never given it a second thought.

My husband meets current and ex female colleagues very regularly for coffee, lunch, dog walks etc and again, I've never given it a thought.

Not everything is suspicious.

His DW might be totally OK with this and understand that, as colleagues, you spend a lot of time with each other and sometimes, become friends and support each other through difficult times.

I still keep in touch with former (male) colleagues and enjoy a bit of banter with them. Maybe DF, now she is single, does not have to deal with a possessive partner stopping her from meeting other people?

YANBU, those single women are out to snare and devour everyone's men.

You'd better lock yours up quick, because you can't be too careful.

It must be exhausting to live life thinking people are about to fuck everyone that comes their way.

Did your friend make a connection between being newly single and meeting a married man for coffee, or did you? Or were they two completely separate things that you are merging for your own agenda?

Madness

My dh has met several female former colleagues for coffee in the past. One he meets once a month for lunch. He works from home so it’s good for him to get out of the house and see people face to face. I have no issue with it at all.

Equally I have met male colleagues for lunch or coffee. One decided to tell me he had a foot fetish over coffee so I decided not to meet him again but the others are normal.

Have a world with yourself. This is a total non-issue!

Are you completely insane?

In what world is it a problem when two colleagues or former colleagues - gasp! - go for coffee?