To ask husband that we do seperate washing

[Cremant31]

I’m cracking under the weight of domestic chores. I am constantly doing washing for me, my husband and our baby.

Despite several polite conversations with my husband, and him agreeing that he will do more, nothing changes. I don’t think he realises the effort that goes into washing drying sorting ironing clothes. Especially his work uniform!

I’ve asked twice before it we can do separate washing (I would do mine and our babies, all towels and bedding, he would simply have to do his own clothes), but he got all sulky and upset.

I’m going to broach it with him again this weekend. FYI I am finishing maternity leave and back to work on Monday.
AIBU to ask that we do separate washing?

I do the laundry because I like doing the laundry.

However, my DH does the ironing, both mine and his.

In your case I would still do the laundry but he would most definitely sort his own ironing and put his own clothes away.

What another comment said;
Rather than do separate washing this is the time to sit down and split all the household chores.

I agree with that!

This isnt true. You married a lazy misogynistic man and your son learnt and was taught to do the same.

you have very low expectations of men. Your standards are on the floor.

did you at any point insist your son take responsibility for himself and instil a reward system to teach him? Or did you just do everything for him? Does he still live at home despite being lazy and selfish? Are there any consequences at all for his appalling behaviour and attitude?

are your cleaner, and your friends and family who you have to ask for help all women?

It’s tough because no matter how many times you ask any man to help they simply cannot and will not do a single thing in the house.

Erm that's not true.

If you've got space in the wash load then bung a few of your hiusband's things in but generally leave the majority of his laundry for him to do. And certaily leave his ironing (especially his work uniform) for him to do himself.

This is nonsense. You have raised a hopeless sexist little shot.

my dad, who is now in his seventies, cooked and cleaned because both my parents worked full time. He did the weekly grocery shop (still does) and probably did more than 50% of the housework.

there is nothing in nature to stop men doing housework- it’s all nurture. It’s what they see growing up.

I hope your son gets some fabulous, strong females bosses in the workplace and starts to understand women are more than house maids.

Little shit!

I wouldn't tell him to do separate washing, washing is easy, I'd tell him he needs to do the ironing, if he says he can't I'd make him pay for and ironing lady and if you can afford it a cleaner a few hours a week. X

I have never been involved in any part of the washing/ironing/folding of my husbands clothes because he is a competent adult who can and WANTS to do things for himself.

Are you hand washing it all?! I don't see how washing (especially for 2 adults and a baby) takes up so much time?!
Ironing-he can do that himself.

I feel like I'm missing something here because unless you're sitting in the backyard with a mangle why is it such hard work?

He should do his own washing, some of the babies washing and alternate the bedding. He's a grown man not your child.

Unless your DH is under 10 years of age, there is no way you ABU. In fact, I wouldn't "ask" him a thing. I'd simply tell him that you are going back to work, your time will be very short, and from now on, he can do his own laundry.

I’m cracking under the weight of domestic chores. I am constantly doing washing for me, my husband and our baby

Imo you're focusing on the wrong thing. Taking care of laundry for two adults and a child is not an arduous task...only when it's added to too many other things.

I do all the laundry for our whole family of 5, which is bloody substantial. I'm not sure DH would even remember how to do a wash nowadays it's been that many years since he has.

But I'm not cracking under the pressure because I rarely have to cook and I haven't cleaned a bathroom or mopped a floor since about 2009...they're DH's jobs (among others).

Stop focusing on laundry, it's not the issue. Start focusing on why the man child doesn't seem to pull his weight at all.

@Callingallskeletons,

Have you ever heard the term 'strategic incompetence'?

Part of the definition includes repeatedly cocking up basic tasks, despite instructions, so that someone who cares more than the lazy ass husband about the task takes it over. This is what your husband is doing.

Yabu to ask. Just stop doing his washing.

Maybe give him one 'part' of the laundry to do. You're going back to work and can't do it all, so ask him to do the ironing/folding/putting away, or the washing/hanging out/drying ... anything so that he understands the vast quantity.

@AryaStarkWolf
i don't think he's going to be doing laundry

Veni, queror, discess

🙄🙄lovely. Grey washing. Hanging it on the line saves more electricity. Washing two mixed loads doesn't save any electricity over one dark & one white load.

Wouldn't divorce & separate homes be easier?

sorry but get a grip, how do you think your own mother or gran coped when no automatic machines for washing. What about the mothers whose husband worked down the mines? Not difficult now a days to chuck a load in machine, only have to hang it out, lots do not need ironing too.

I don't think it's a good idea long term, but as a wake up call, absolutely! You're going back to work and things need to be 50/50. Let him get a taste of things. I never ever iron anyone else's clothes and resent the small amount that I have to iron for work.

I don’t think splitting the washing is efficient, but why do you iron for him? Adults should iron themselves. I never understand why women do this for men, as if they’re their mothers.