To ask husband that we do seperate washing

[Cremant31]

I’m cracking under the weight of domestic chores. I am constantly doing washing for me, my husband and our baby.

Despite several polite conversations with my husband, and him agreeing that he will do more, nothing changes. I don’t think he realises the effort that goes into washing drying sorting ironing clothes. Especially his work uniform!

I’ve asked twice before it we can do separate washing (I would do mine and our babies, all towels and bedding, he would simply have to do his own clothes), but he got all sulky and upset.

I’m going to broach it with him again this weekend. FYI I am finishing maternity leave and back to work on Monday.
AIBU to ask that we do separate washing?

Doesn't seem sensible at all. Surely that's just a waste of water and electricity. Why wouldn't you just put his stuff in with yours?

He'll cope. My teenage son does his own washing, because he dumps stuff on his bedroom floor and I won't pick it up. He seems to prefer it that way, and I'm happy enough for him to scoop up his clothes when he feels the need and put them through the wash. He manages to have clean uniform.

And if he doesn't then that would be his own fault. He's not even an adult yet, so I'm sure your DH will manage.

An extra mans laundry is almost double the work! Of course it makes a difference! Especially considering mens clothes tend to be bigger and he has a work uniform and things

My DH insists on separate washing, drives me mad as I think it wastes water and electricity as less likely to be full loads. All for men doing their share but this isn't one I'd choose.

@Carrotten

Do women not wear uniforms like?

Split the chores not the washing, it's wasteful not to fill every load

@Topgub this Dh has a work uniform and the OP doesn't?

YABU to ask his permission to drop his washing - he clearly doesn't give a shit about your opinion so why should you solicit his? Also, stop cooking for him.

Do people on this thread think single people just do half empty wash loads? You just do a full load of your own stuff not a half empty load?

In over 30 years I've only once ironed a shirt for my husband. I remember it very distinctly he was running late for a black tie dinner and needed the folds ironed out of a new dress shirt.

I don't do his washing either.

But don't you separate your whites from your darks? It'd take a long time to make a full load for one person.

@lifecanbehardattimes, you are teaching your son that strategic incompetence works.

Dump his wet clothes out of the washing machine and leave them for him to sort out.

@Hallyup89 - everything goes in together on a cold wash, then into the dryer.

Saves a lot of time and utility money.

@Carrotten

She might have.

Your post read like you meant all men's washing was more work.

'An extra mans washing is double the work'

@Cremant31

Stop asking and just go ahead with your plan. Don't ask and allow him to manipulate you by being "all sulky and upset", which has worked for him so far.

Surely, as an adult he'll be able to work out how to use a washing machine (so many of them are clear to follow from the panel instructions, that even a half-intelligent human of average reading comprehension can understand).

I'm sure he'll kick off and probably give you the silent treatment, but stay strong and let him get on with it. He can do his own drying, hanging up, ironing etc as well - might as well get this sorted out all at once. 🌹

DH and I have always done this. We have separate laundry baskets. DH does his own towels and ironing as well. I do mine, DS, and other household.

Some tasks we do share, laundry we just do our own.

It is much more efficient when one person does all the laundry.

Not for us. Maybe we have a smaller washing machine.

Washing by colour is enough of a separation to manage

Washing by colour is not a thing in this house. Clothes are cold washed, towels and bedding hot washed. That's as separate as it gets.

For some reason posts about laundry always lead to really odd responses. I've never washed my husband's laundry. We have separate washbaskets and we never ever put on anything but a full load. It's really not hard to do.

My DH and I each do our own, and always have. We each lived alone before we moved in together, and just carried on. I suppose the house jobs are for our joint living environment, but our laundry feels like our own responsibility. We each have a basket of our own

Don’t ask, tell him. Leave his washing and don’t do his. I don’t do my dhs at all. We both work full time and I do dds and don’t go anywhere near his.
separate wash baskets, if his isn’t done, tough shit!

@Topgub I said and he has a work uniform. Maybe my phrasing wasn't ideal but this is a forum not an English essay, I wasn't making a sexist comment about only men having uniforms fgs

How dare he sulk! Who does he expect to do it for him, the cheek

@Topgub yes adding an entire extra adults laundry is double the work compared to one adult? It's literally double. It's not just an extra couple of tshirts or the odd sock. Op has a baby so it's not quite double (although baby's laundry should also be DHs responsibility) but it's still a lot more work

YANBU, in fact, I think you're being too soft. Why does doing all the household washing, excluding your DPs clothes, fall to you? Why don't you suggest taking turns? (I assume, being a man child, he would fail to do it when it was 'his' turn, which is why you will keep doing it. So, as a minimum, I would tell him once, 'don't forget, you'll need to put a wash on if you want clean clothes for Monday', then leave him to it.)

DH and I have never combined our washing. We have separate laundry baskets, his is in the bathroom that I never use and mine is in my dressing room. We both put a wash on when we have a full load.

Is this a grown man? Who sulks because you won’t wash and iron his work uniform?

I am sorry but how pathetic! End embarrassing for him.

put a stop to this sexist nonsense now before your child notices