When does it get easier ?

[cucurucu]

I see posts like this from time to time.

When does this parenthood thing get easier ? It's so absolutely relentless right now. 2 and a half year old and a 5 week old.

What's the deal ? I am literally not enjoying any of it and I feel terrible saying that, as I'm so lucky my children have their health. But I literally open my eyes in the morning and don't know how I'll get through each day. I just hate each day, really.

When does it get easier?

ha, yes perhaps? Although most of toddlers from that group are usually in nursery by then, often full time too so think that does make things easier. My youngest dc was full time at nursery until got flexible hours recently and now still part time, in my experience does make the parenting a toddler somewhat easier than being with them 24/7.
The older first time parent/middle class parents do tend to be very good parents overall, including the SAHP, they just seem to find the newborn stage a huge transition/more of a struggle in my professional experience

the actual reply to the OP like many others completely acknowledged how it is really hard coping with a newborn plus a toddler (and how really ideally she’s have more support at this stage, like any mother of a newborn should have but particularly one with a toddler) However myself and others said that it will get easier, particularly as the toddler gets older. The further discussion stemmed from another poster categorically stating that the newborn stage is the most difficult of any stage and wasn’t aimed at the OP at all, in fact as the OP says it’s having the combination, not having a newborn which is difficult.

I hear this. Our toddler had just turned two when we had twins. He is much harder work!

No, it isn't going to be properly easier for a couple of years but 6-9 months for your newborn is a turning point imho. Depends a bit on how bad they get the 8 month regression, but ours sleep through now, are on solids and our toddler is realizing they are real people. It does feel like an upward path from here.

If it helps, we were told to lean into the baby role play. It makes the toddler giggle and then he forgets about it.

@SchoolThing my toddlers were way more difficult than my newborns , full stop. One of mine slept worse when older than smaller and I found dealing with toddlers who climbed and bolted and had no v short concentration spans hugely draining . It’s actually really hard as because it didn’t get easier for me I felt a total failure so your comment of “at odds” is pretty crap tbf. My newborns had way less impact on my life and health . I will say I had easy births and recovered really quickly and I’m v v into exercise so physically I found the newborn stage absolutely fine , I was exhausted with toddlers as mine were all bolters and climbers and we didn’t have a seconds peace until they hit around 3/4. Two of my toddlers didn’t sleep well at all, settling a newborn was so much physically easier than settling a toddler, maybe my situation is extremely rare or something but there it is….
Toddlers are the cutest things but for me definitely was the most draining stage.
I also have loads of experience as come from a huge family with loads of Neices and nephews , I found all their babies easier to manage than their toddlers of I babysit during the day.
You can’t make definitive statements as each persons experience is different which is why I include “in my experience “. Tbf plenty of posters are saying the same.
Im a secondary school teacher and the idea of telling parents that in no way what they are experiencing is that hard in comparison to babies or toddlers is ridiculous. I don’t have teenagers and it looks extremely challenging a lot of the time….

I'm not sure that I'd count a name change fail that I pointed out immediately myself, at 1am, getting caught with my trousers down. 🙄😂

Does it get easier or do we just get better at it

There's 3 years between my two boys. My youngest was a cruisy baby so it was easy until he was about 1 year old, then hard for about 2 years, then got easier again once he was 4.

Now they are 12 and 15 and the emotional stuff they go through and worrying about them is definitely hard, but on the plus side they sleep in, get themselves to school and back, do chores, don't throw tantrums in public, I don't have to cart around pushchairs and spare clothes everywhere, don't have to worry about keeping to early bedtimes, can shower and go to the toilet without worrying they'd chew the power cords, can even go out for a few drinks and leave them home alone .... so in my experience it gets easier in many ways as they get older! Or at least, you get more time to yourself, which makes everything feel easier (in my experience).