To enjoy Love Island

[minutesturntohours]

I've watched every series, I really enjoy it. It's a great hour each evening.

I know people generally look down on programmes like this but don't actually watch them. I can't be the only one?

They're different, but I'm just pointing out that anyone who says they don't judge people is probably lying.

Of course everyone makes judgements but, like another poster pointed out, it's how you react to the judgments you are making.
Do you consciously make an effort to mentally take a step back and assess why you are making those judgements and assumptions and make sure you don't say/do anything that is going to belittle the other person? Or do you just openly judge, making the assumption you are better/in the right.

The judgements we make are based on our own life experiences. I do a huge amount of work around challenging biases so it really frustrates me when I see people outright judging people just because they look different or have different interests to them!

I've been judged my whole career - apparently women with platinum blonde hair, who wear make up and heels don't look like they are clever enough to be a university academic. 🙄

This is not something you should have asked on MN lol. Everyone loves it on my Twitter so it really just depends where you’re asking the question

Yes, that's judging by appearance which is silly. I never judge anyone's appearance.

I do judge people by their actions. If I think something is harmful, then I'd potentially judge it. Do you genuinely not think shows like Love Island, can be harmful to young teens?

I think personal preferences, such as “I don’t really like tattoos” or “I’m not a fan of reality tv” can be expressed without using words that are nasty or designed to make others feel bad or somehow lesser.

“Judging” someone in a spiteful way for behaviour different to yours or for not having similar standards to you doesn’t consider the other person at all. Just as you have had your standards and values instilled in you by various influences, so have others. Acknowledging that everyone comes from a different place, having had different experiences and different influencers to shape their behaviours can help reduce levels of spiteful judgement.

I’m not a fan of animae. I gave it a go but have reached the conclusion it’s not my thing. I can appreciate the work that goes into it though and I don’t judge people who like it.

If you're comfortable with your choices why care if someone is judging you for them?

Equally, if you genuinely feel good about yourself, your behaviours and your life why do you feel the need to make judgements on others?

I'm not "spitefully" judging anyone. I think shows like Love Island are harmful. They reinforce that only pretty slim people are worthy of being on TV and being famous. I believe they send a message to teens, especially young women that being social media influencers is aspirational and it's all focused on good looks and manipulating the general public. So I do question why people watch and support shows like that. I did not say anything nasty about people who watch these shows or call them names.

Do you genuinely not think shows like Love Island, can be harmful to young teens?

I think there is a potential for a minority of teens or don’t have other real life role models and support to be affected or influenced, but I also think that can be said of most things, like magazines, films, the news, other adults, musicians etc. I think social media posts and participation in that is potentially more harmful than a television programme. There are dangerous influences everywhere nowadays that teens cannot be shielded from. Instead they need to be educated about why some elements of different things might be dangerous, how to cope with them and how to be secure in themselves.

This is why I don’t like it also. I think, as a society, we should be elevating artists, poets, craftsmen, researchers, there are so many people who make a difference and who are talented. We shouldn’t be making out that being famous is the ideal, or that being materialistic and shallow is.

I'm not "spitefully" judging anyone. I think shows like Love Island are harmful. They reinforce that only pretty slim people are worthy of being on TV and being famous. I believe they send a message to teens, especially young women that being social media influencers is aspirational and it's all focused on good looks and manipulating the general public. So I do question why people watch and support shows like that. I did not say anything nasty about people who watch these shows or call them names.

That makes total sense, it's the 'only people unhappy with their lives watch it/get a hobbyI' type comments object to. I passionately don't care because it's not true - it's not true of me and a large number of its viewers (who are mostly young people)... but 🤷🏻‍♀️

I also agree social media and magazines are harmful. It’s not just reality TV.

This is why I don’t like it also. I think, as a society, we should be elevating artists, poets, craftsmen, researchers, there are so many people who make a difference and who are talented. We shouldn’t be making out that being famous is the ideal, or that being materialistic and shallow is.

And I support this wholeheartedly hence why I'll try to avoid this year.

I do judge people by their actions. If I think something is harmful, then I'd potentially judge it. Do you genuinely not think shows like Love Island, can be harmful to young teens?
As standalone programmes- no. I think parents have a responsibility to talk to their teens about the themes that are raised on and surrounding programmes such as love island. It's an opportunity to talk about the reality of being on a programme like that.

I used to work as a careers adviser and I would get young people (girls mainly) who would talk about their careers in terms of reality tv and social media. It was an opportunity for us to break that down and look at the reality of that type of career and consider values, career progression etc.

Do you not think it sad that young girls would talk about that? And that it would mainly be young girls who’d bring it up, not boys? Yes parents have a responsibility, but kids pick things up from other kids - my eldest son found out about TikTok from another child, for example. I think it’s fair to say some things have a negative consequence in society.

I agree, social media is very harmful. And of course it's our job as parents to educate our own children. However, teenagers don't often listen to their parents and that age, and does a 15 year old girl want to be like her embarrassing middle age mum or like 20 year old beautiful wealthy social media influencer?

The programme isn't aimed at 'young teens' though

Let's not pretend they don't watch it though.

But you said you’ve never watched it, so how do you really know any of that?

Your judgement isn’t based on even half the information available. It’s coming from a place of ignorance combined with presumption and unconscious prejudice, perhaps influenced by others with the same opinion whom you consider worthy of respect. If we read the opinion of someone we look up to, respect or consider superior to ourselves we can easily be influenced into voicing that same opinion without actually considering the facts and information for ourselves. It’s a form of unconscious bias. We can all fall victim to it. I find the concept of unconscious bias really interesting.

You don’t think the below is a bit nasty/spiteful?

To be honest though I think people who watch shoes like this aren't happy in their own lives. If you need "mindless" telly to deal with your life I'd be wondering why.

There's something grossly emotionally wrong with people who enjoy watching real people argue, shag and suffer on national TV.

Much rather watch Below Deck for my dose of unscripted reality, it's brilliant!

You don’t have to personally watch every reality TV show to have a problem with the concept of reality TV.

Agree. I even hate the ad which parades everyone in their bikinis and does a close up of this huge arse wearing a thong All identikit fake "girls" The 'boys' are also pretty identikit too. It is a just a programme about judging a group of people by specific standards based purely on their looks, and who wants to have sex with who. Between then all seems nobody can really string a sentence together.
Yuk. Horrible.

@Waxonwaxoff0

Then it's a parenting problem if kids are allowed to watch it....

Do you not think it sad that young girls would talk about that? And that it would mainly be young girls who’d bring it up, not boys? Yes parents have a responsibility, but kids pick things up from other kids - my eldest son found out about TikTok from another child, for example. I think it’s fair to say some things have a negative consequence in society.

Well, the first thing you get taught when training as a careers adviser is to be non judgemental and person centred.

We have to understand and accept that society changes and that will have an impact on career choices. While it might not all be positive ( although I guess that is also up for interpretation 🤷🏼‍♀️) we can help young people make informed decisions. Just declaring reality tv and social media as 'bad' isn't going to make it go away. I'd prefer to use it as a conversation starter.

@Bbq1

They can't string a sentence? That's a worry then since they have had doctors,a pharmacist and humanitarian aid workers amongst the contestants!

Yes I agree declaring it bad won’t make it go away, but it’s worrying when young girls, especially only girls, are idolising stuff like this. A conversation needs to be had about the sort of world we want our kids to grow up in

I think, as a society, we should be elevating artists, poets, craftsmen, researchers, there are so many people who make a difference and who are talented. We shouldn’t be making out that being famous is the ideal, or that being materialistic and shallow is.

I agree with this and it’s about managing expectations of achieving fame and providing alternative role models. One can do this at the same time as watching a reality show. It doesn’t have to be either/or. I think it’s about how you approach a reality programme. As previous posters have said there are some important lessons to be learned off the back of witnessing real, human behaviours.

I don’t personally believe the majority of reality tv participants are vulnerable. I think many of them are quite savvy and clear about what they want from it and have decided the potential benefits far outweigh the risks. That said there are always going to be some that slip past the checks and react differently than how they expected, but that is true of many other things, particularly where fame is concerned.

I also don’t necessarily agree that it’s the programme itself that creates problems; it’s the judgements (there’s that word again!) made by the public about people they’ve never met, and that don’t understand the nuances of staged/scripted reality television that cause the problems or vastly contribute to it.

It’s not just about the contestants though, it’s about the audience. Vulnerable young women and men to a lesser extent thinking this is what to aim for in life.