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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell my husband to fuck off

333 replies

cinq · 29/05/2022 23:13

I work full time as does my husband. We have 2 DC ages 9 and 5. My husband works away a lot so I have the responsibility of my own job as well as all the childcare and housework which is fine but tiring.

He’s been away on a boys trip recently and is scheduled to go on another one in a few weeks. Again, I don’t have a problem with this - we can afford it and it’s not a problem.

Here’s where I do have a problem. We are planning to go on holiday in December just after Christmas and I’ve been told by him that my MIL is joining us. I haven’t been asked - I’ve been told.

my MIL is fine in small doses but a week with her I dont think I can manage with snidey comments and just her generally being unpleasant.

i don’t want to say I’m devastated- it’s a first world problem - but I work all year, haven’t been on holiday since before the pandemic and now I’ll be on edge for a week and be spending a fortune for the privilege.

I’ve been clear with my husband that I don’t want to go with her but nothing is really sinking in with him. He just says we won’t have to do it again. I don’t want to do it at all!!!!

AIBU to tell him to just fuck off?

OP posts:
YetAnotherNameChange111 · 02/06/2022 18:46

Not sure if my "see all" is working - but I can only see 1 post from the OP. Is that right?
The opening post - from 5 days ago.
If that is right why on earth are you all replying to her still ??

AnuSTart · 02/06/2022 18:52

@WallaceinAnderland I'd bet money on it!!!

Hollipolly · 02/06/2022 18:57

420Bruh · 29/05/2022 23:20

Stay home. He can go.

This from the sound of it OP you will have a rest at home by yourself. Why have you no plans for a Spa day or anything OP? Put your foot down!

Nanny0gg · 02/06/2022 21:05

YetAnotherNameChange111 · 02/06/2022 18:46

Not sure if my "see all" is working - but I can only see 1 post from the OP. Is that right?
The opening post - from 5 days ago.
If that is right why on earth are you all replying to her still ??

It doesn't work properly at the moment

pearly1792 · 02/06/2022 23:32

Natty13 · 30/05/2022 00:07

I love my MIL, she is everything you'd want in a MIL and more but I send my DH and kids to visit her without me once a year (she lives abroad). Let me tell you it is a TREAT. Even spending it at home doing no cooking cleaning or admin. Nothing apart from having long baths, eating whatever you want and reading books is better than going abroad and being stressed but you do have the option of taking yourself off for a break alone. Fully recommend it for peace and wellbeing.

My husband prob looks forward to me getting a week of solo time nowadays because I'm a much nicer person to be around after 😂which is what I'd tell your husband too - you can have a wife who is even more stressed and fed up than she already is or a wife who is relaxed, happy and zen - who would you rather live with for the next year?

Do this OP. People so often don't realise how fantastic holidays are by yourself with no one. I find them the best. You do what you want with out any interference.

pearly1792 · 03/06/2022 00:14

Let's be honest OPs whole marriage sounds like servitude. I often wonder with threads like this one if the OP did actually stand up to their husband and for once put their needs first the consequences to them would be far worse than we are being told.

MrsTerryPratchett · 03/06/2022 00:31

Gingernan · 01/06/2022 00:44

Some really witchy responses! They should all listen to themselves,if I was the mil of most of the women on here I wouldn't want to go on holiday with them.

I absolutely loved one of my MILs. And really didn't the other. They both died during the marriages.

The first, we went on holiday with, she's a right laugh and we enjoyed it. The second I didn't, ever, and never would have. I don't regret EITHER decision. Some people aren't nice and we don't have to spend all our time trying to make people who aren't nice happy.

pearly1792 · 03/06/2022 00:36

Oh No they man can't take care of his own children. Oh nooes the woman has to give up her own time and do everything everyone wants because the man can't take care of his own children.

Oooh no think of the children.

Goodness the same drivel that has been imprisoning women for centuries.

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