I don’t know what a PUA is and I’m none of those things. I came on here to dispute people saying that a man who was FWB with a chick would never want more or that he was being disrespectful - because I know for sure that both of those things are untrue. Don’t understand why that’s caused such a stir.
Its the way you use language. You come across as a bit of a twat. hth.
However If I had to speculate, she supports what I do and I think enjoys being with someone like me, likes to be a part of it. It is true that she does most things on the domestic front
and I appreciate that, however she tells me she’s more open with me than she’s ever been with anyone and I do believe I know her very very well and understand what she wants and needs psychologically, probably better than any other man has or ever could, despite what people here have said.
I would guess I’m easy to live with, treat her well, fine with parents and sisters being around whenever, actually one of her sisters lives with us - in fact I prefer it that way and don’t know why other men discourage that kind of thing, the dummies don’t seem to understand it lessens the pressure on them to do a emotional act, because their wives can satisfy some of that side of themselves with female relatives. We are compatible in lifestyle and enjoy that kind of family communal living - I could go on but you get my drift.
I think you did go on. Its more than a bloody drift. Its a self-obsessed monologue! I'm not sure that many women outside your particular demographic would tolerate either communal living or referring to people as "dummies" but read on...
The reason being that guys like that have never taken the time to work out why people (in this case women), feel the things they do
I think you're trying to cover too many eventualities in one sentence in order to appear convincing. It doesn't really work. Try to build up your argument more skilfully. When you provide too much information like this, it creates the presumption that you are lying.
Forums like this may give that impression because obviously non bitter people won’t be posting.
Why are you so bitter?
That’s why men like the kind of woman who are open to FWB - because they have shown they actually care about what their men want and don’t freak easy, the alternative of that just being one sided dating expectations which don’t make sense in the modern world, as though we were back in the days of yore courting yon fair ladies. You might say they know something about men that the strictly dating type don’t.
Yes, but many women don't like the kind of men who do FWB and would turn them down if they have a history of it.
But anyway, there are lots of chill ladies who go for that type of thing, sure they might hope it will become more - maybe it will and maybe it won’t, point is that’s how it’s done. Makes perfect sense in todays world, it’s not some terrible thing
The way speak, like some ageing DJ who's been to Miami once on holiday and never got over it, is cringe. Apologies if you are an ageing DJ from Miami!
And I think your underestimating the amount of serious relationships and even marriage that come from FWB or super casual situations - that’s just a way relationships develop in the modern world, there’s nothing wrong with it. I mean really it was inevitable after realisable birth control came around.
I don’t know why you think it’s so awful or new, people have been doing this since the 70’s and plenty of women are along for the ride. And if they wanted other more uptight men they could have them, that’s their choice.
Well, I think that might be true where theres a lot of lying involved because for most women, being exclusive when you are having sex is really quite important.
OK, I cut and pasted some of your verbosity because it amused me but serious point: not everyone is from your demographic. I'm a lawyer, most of my friends met at university or in social or sports clubs after university and are married to doctors, other lawyers, dentists, teachers, lecturers, successful tradesmen, farmers, etc. Obviously its not compulsory but it is fairly traditional still and quite a number of them are surprisingly somewhat religious and not into the same things you are because of it. This is quite a large demographic. Its also quite a wealthy demographic, not least because their personal lives don't use up a lot of their energy and they make good decisions throughout life. Of course there are exceptions; some people cheat, some get divorced but generally if you want to be wealthy, don't make dating and marital mistakes.
A lot of it involves socialising but at dinner parties or garden parties or feature events, which often means valuable work or business through contacts and I honestly cannot imagine the horror of taking someone like you to a social event with your tendency to talk in the way you do. What an embarrassment.
I've vaguely known about 3 men like you (through the sport I do) and no-one admires them. They bounce from one casual relationship to another, where they generally move in with the woman quite quickly, and develop all of these world weary views about how they "understand women" based on multiple failed relationships which they like to paint in a golden light to cover up the figures of derision they have become. They generally end up getting married in their late forties or fifties to whichever woman they are with at the time, because they realise they are struggling at that stage to find a woman at all. I do know several who have gone down the route of marrying women they barely know from The Phillipines or Thailand, some of them end up divorced, some stay married.
Its probably your social circle which makes you think what you are describing is more common than it is.
I tried online dating very briefly (6 weeks) between serious relationships. There were men like you who used language in that distinctive weird, cynical way that you do and there wasn't a single one worth even meeting up with. It was block, block, block after a few messages of that kind of drivel. Absolute bloody nightmares. You all tend to use the same phrases: "chicks" - seriously? Are you 10? Or they would say "females" or if you told them you weren't interested they would say "Now that you've got over that little outburst". Its like your own special little language. Or it would be "I'm looking for a woman who"...followed by a long list of dreary demands when the picture showed an unsmiling, wrinkled, ageing, balding individual with poor vasodilation indicators and a paunch.
You're an absolute nightmare. Who could listen to that fishwifey drivel going on endlessly? Who would want a man that spends his time trying to infiltrate a website mainly used by women in order to impart his "wisdom" on how to be sleazy? I recently had someone who talked like this come to my house to do some work. He kept moaning about his current relationship (lived with his girlfriend) told me about his past relationship, shared his views on relationships in general and liked my house rather too much! The ex and he had argued too much (as apparently she was this and that although then again she wasn't too bad (might take him back if the current one turfs him out clearly) tbh if I never hear that annoying bloody fishwifey man again I will be grateful! I put up with it for 2 days only because I really, really wanted the work done and at the end I blocked him everywhere, just in case he tried to contact me. Absolutely unbearable.
The reality is (and bearing in mind you are demonstrating classic signs of Dunning-Kruger syndrome) that most women would turn you down, or just generally avoid you. Your view is A-typical and related purely to the social group who will put up with you.
Oh, if you're really good looking - not the pretendy good looking that some men imagine themselves to be because they have two eyes, a nose and a mouth, but male model-esque, you just might get more chances with the not so gullible. In general, as the OP shows, this sort of thing with this sort of man just drags you down and women are more and more choosing to be single rather put up with this drivel. There used to be a lot of pressure on women to be in a couple, now not so much. Times are a changing, and men like you sound like dinosaurs desperately fighting for the last piece of earth with the biodiversity to suit them.
I know you will reply to this very carefully in an attempt to show me the error of my ways/what I am missing/how foolishly feminine my views are, and honestly, I will try to read it and post a pithy reply, but then again, I might not just bother as there are just an awful lot more pleasant people out there to spend time with.
OP- I think if you get away from this awful man who is dragging you down, the sooner the better, you are more likely to have a better life.