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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Won’t let nephew kiss baby

237 replies

cm1010 · 29/05/2022 19:06

I just want to know if I'm being unreasonable here and if I have a reason to be upset. I went to the zoo today with my parents, other half, sister, her other half and their three year old son and my five month old daughter. My nephew loves his cousin but likes to try and kiss her which I don't like. Today he went to kiss her on the lips whilst my mum was holding her so I put my hand on his shoulder to prevent him getting closer (he always has a cough and a runny nose) and I told him to kiss her on her hair instead (where I wipe straight afterwards) so my nephews dad then mumbled 'he's just a kid no need to push him' which he didn't say to my face but so I could hear. My nephew wasn't upset but this upset me because I feel I have every right to protect my baby and I did not push him away I simply put my hand on him to stop him touching her lips. My sister also asked why he's not allowed to kiss her on the lips. I was having a lovely day but it kind of ruined it for me :(

OP posts:
Original poster
cm1010 · 29/05/2022 22:16

Ok maybe I’ll remember that next time and let my little one get a mouth full of snot!

OP posts:
Coolcharlotte · 29/05/2022 22:19

You have the right to do what's best for your daughter. I wouldn't won't anyone coming near my 1 year old with a snorting nose that's for sure. Hope you get everything sorted out. Family the best relationship to have, don't want to fall out over something so small.

Original poster
cm1010 · 29/05/2022 22:20

I mean is what I did really that bad? Put my hand on my nephews shoulder to stop him spreading his germs to my infant?

OP posts:
Teenangels · 29/05/2022 22:22

cm1010 · 29/05/2022 19:15

I was worried that maybe it seemed I had pushed him but I didn’t, I turned around and he was very close and went into panic mode as sometimes he doesn’t listen when you tell him not to do something but I know I simply just held his shoulder and I did say to kiss her elsewhere

As you said here you went into panic mode, you could of been seen to be pushy.
The fact that you said you wipe straight away seems a little extreme. Do you stand with wipes in your hand.
The love and defence you have for your child, is also how your sister and her partner feel about their child, your nephew.

Original poster
cm1010 · 29/05/2022 22:22

Unfortunately we had already been in a three year feud, I had taken myself away from them due to how I was being treated before we all had children so we have not long been connected again.. my sister is ok with me but I feel like her other half still holds a grudge

OP posts:
Original poster
cm1010 · 29/05/2022 22:23

So why am I the only one in the wrong? They are defensive over their child as I was with mine?

OP posts:
ThreeLittleDots · 29/05/2022 22:27

You didn't do anything wrong. Your mental health has nothing to do with it and I think they all sound like stupid arseholes. Keep the snot monster away from her!

Peaplant20 · 29/05/2022 22:32

I think you acted very reasonably. People seem to weirdly forget how vulnerable young babies are, I spent the first few months of LOs life dodging people trying to kiss her on the face! I would also wipe her face if a snotty toddler kissed it, I don’t think that’s weird at all.

nextone77 · 29/05/2022 22:36

ThreeLittleDots · 29/05/2022 22:27

You didn't do anything wrong. Your mental health has nothing to do with it and I think they all sound like stupid arseholes. Keep the snot monster away from her!

Totally agree!

Original poster
cm1010 · 29/05/2022 22:46

Thank you, I really feel like on this thread I’ve grabbed and pushed the child over?! It sounds as though I’m not allowed to touch my nephew :(

OP posts:
ladydimitrescu · 29/05/2022 22:58

Honestly I think you over reacted, especially saying it ruined your day.
I can see why nephews dad made the comment, he is just a very small child who loves his cousin. I really don't think it's a big deal.

EmeraldShamrock1 · 29/05/2022 23:06

My DC have never kissed on the lips, from babies I'd kiss the top of their head.

I wouldn't have physically blocked him, he is their precious DC I'd have spoken to his DM earlier assuming it wasn't the first time he tried so she could have intervened.

Yanbu for not wanting the lip kiss.
Yabu for physically blocking him before speaking to mam.

He's only little too with feelings.

Original poster
cm1010 · 29/05/2022 23:07

I think it’s a big deal when the child has a cold and wants to plant the germs on my babies mouth

OP posts:
LuckySantangelo35 · 29/05/2022 23:17

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all Op

herpes, viruses etc can all be passed on to babies.

And for all those on here bleating that hes only little, hes only three etc…well that still doesn’t mean I would want his snot on my face especially on my lips! Op says he has snot all over his nose and lips. It is gross. Would you genuinely want that transferred to your face? No? So why is it ok for a baby who can’t even consent to be subjected to that?

op put a hand on hand on his shoulder, she didn’t launch him across the room. I don’t think she’s being the precious one here!

EmeraldShamrock1 · 29/05/2022 23:18

In 6 months your baby will.be putting all sorts in their mouth.

I wouldn't never put my hand on another DC I'd move my baby from the target.

His father's reaction could have been worse.

Your feelings are normal. I remember judging my 3 y.o nephew when I had DD until I'd experience with 3 y.o DS.

There not far from babies and still learning.

LuckySantangelo35 · 29/05/2022 23:19

EmeraldShamrock1 · 29/05/2022 23:06

My DC have never kissed on the lips, from babies I'd kiss the top of their head.

I wouldn't have physically blocked him, he is their precious DC I'd have spoken to his DM earlier assuming it wasn't the first time he tried so she could have intervened.

Yanbu for not wanting the lip kiss.
Yabu for physically blocking him before speaking to mam.

He's only little too with feelings.

@EmeraldShamrock1

so if she’s not unreasonable to not want the lip kiss, what exactly should she have done in that moment when he was lunging towards baby a
ignoring her requests to stop and her mother was holding the baby and not moving it?
What exactly should have done to prevent the kids?

I don’t think she had much choice really did she?

LuckySantangelo35 · 29/05/2022 23:21

Peaplant20 · 29/05/2022 22:32

I think you acted very reasonably. People seem to weirdly forget how vulnerable young babies are, I spent the first few months of LOs life dodging people trying to kiss her on the face! I would also wipe her face if a snotty toddler kissed it, I don’t think that’s weird at all.

Well exactly! You’d wipe your own face surely if someone snotted on it wouldn’t you? Hopefully you would anyway

Justkidding55 · 29/05/2022 23:21

You are wildly OTT. The world wouldn’t come to an end if he kissed her on the lips.

Justkidding55 · 29/05/2022 23:25

cm1010 · 29/05/2022 22:46

Thank you, I really feel like on this thread I’ve grabbed and pushed the child over?! It sounds as though I’m not allowed to touch my nephew :(

Again- wildly OTT response.. it’s not a big deal. You are making a drama out of nothing, even this thread…
the dad didn’t have a huge go at you, there was no need to take it so personally, and now you are taking this so seriously too..

Original poster
cm1010 · 29/05/2022 23:25

No but she could have become very sick which is what I don’t want..

OP posts:
LuckySantangelo35 · 29/05/2022 23:26

SlightlyGeordieJohn · 29/05/2022 22:09

No you don’t have to, you chose to.

Show quote history

@SlightlyGeordieJohn

wouldn’t you wipe if someone had left their snot on your face?? You wouldn’t just leave it there surely??

Original poster
cm1010 · 29/05/2022 23:27

Thank you! There really wasn’t much time to stop and have a full blown conversation about it with my sister.. I literally had seconds!

OP posts:
LuckySantangelo35 · 29/05/2022 23:28

Justkidding55 · 29/05/2022 23:21

You are wildly OTT. The world wouldn’t come to an end if he kissed her on the lips.

@Justkidding55

just as it won’t come to an end if op prevented it from happening. Which she did. What’s your point?

Original poster
cm1010 · 29/05/2022 23:29

Exactly, who wants snot on their face as I know I don’t want to and I won’t let my little one have jr on her face either as I’m sure if she could let me know if she’d rather have snot on her face or not, she’d tell me she doesn’t want it on her face!

OP posts:
LuckySantangelo35 · 29/05/2022 23:30

cm1010 · 29/05/2022 23:29

Exactly, who wants snot on their face as I know I don’t want to and I won’t let my little one have jr on her face either as I’m sure if she could let me know if she’d rather have snot on her face or not, she’d tell me she doesn’t want it on her face!

Exactly!!

you didn’t nothing wrong at all

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