To worry about family dogs when kids visit friends' houses?

[DogVisitingConcern]

My DC (13) has been invited to someone's house for the first time, they have a dog and I have no idea what the dog is like.

I have no reason to assume it will be an unpleasant dog, or the family not responsible with the dog, but it really makes me uneasy because:

• I have been bitten by a dog


• My DH has been bitten by a dog


• My youngest was almost bitten but we managed to lift them out of the way in time (they were small when it happened)


• My extended family have had dogs that were a bit moody

Do you worry about dogs when sending your kid round to new homes? I am not into dogs, I grew up with them, I consider them a PITA but I don't quake around them.

YABU = I don't worry about unknown pet dogs when my kids go to friends' houses
YANBU = I do worry about unknown pet dogs when my kids go to friends' houses

I don't worry about them myself. I have two dogs myself whom I'm not concerned about having kids friends around either. The kids are used to dogs and know how to behave around them.

At 13 they're at more risk crossing the road walking to school than being bitten by a dog they will likely be totally ignoring.

What sort of dog is it?

I don't know! He has seen a picture but doesn't know anything about dogs.

We have a cute fluffy dog and several other animals, my dog is unpredictable and I would never trust her with someone she doesn't know although 95%of the time she would be fine. So we always make sure any visitors are safe and the dog is locked away in a bedroom while their here. If she needs the back garden she's taken out and up the side of house. I would love for her to be able to run around with guest but can't take chane.

they're at more risk crossing the road walking to school than being bitten by a dog I wonder if the stats would bear this out <goes off to look>

I'll be honest after the 10 year old in Caerphilly, near where I live, being killed by a friend's family dog when he was playing at his friend's house it does concern me - same as when I go to someone's house for the first time. Not enough to stop me doing it or letting them go somewhere, but it's that little niggle

YABU

Try to get past your fear of dogs. There are millions of them and obviously they don't all bite. It would be a real shame if you were to pass on your fear to your DS.

If your family routinely gets bitten by dogs, maybe learning to identify signs of a dog being nervous and not approaching them would be a good idea?

I think maybe you misread my OP - I don't have a fear of dogs, I grew up with them.

My child also doesn't have a fear of dogs.

Also none of the dogs who bit us were approached by us, the dogs did the approaching!

I haven’t ever though of my kids being unsafe if they go to a house with a dog but I am always a little on edge when kids come to ours. I make sure I am with the dog or that he’s in another room / his crate when the kids friends are here. Not because I think he’d do anything but I just always keep an eye.

I suspect more children die in RTAs than in a dog attack. But I bet way more children are bitten by dogs than seriously injured in cars.

I can't say it would even cross my mind.

The vast, vast majority of dog owners are sensible people and most family dogs are equally sensible around visitors. Remember - the reason these attacks make the news is because they're still incredibly rare.

I think with a 13yo YABU.

You can brief him on how to behave round dogs, and tell him it's OK to ask to be separate from the dog if he doesn't like it. At that age, I'd expect them to be hanging out in the host's bedroom and that's likely to be quite separate from the dog

If your family routinely gets bitten by dogs, maybe learning to identify signs of a dog being nervous and not approaching them would be a good idea

Yawn. It's always the victim's fault isn't it.

I think part of my worry is he is quite unlikely to say this. If he was more vocal as a person I guess I would worry less - if he actively disliked dogs + was more bolshy he might tell his friend to shut it out.

I would be very surprised if he were to approach the dog, he is fine with/around family dogs but not into them, so wouldn't go and fuss it IYSWIM.

Tbh I don’t give it much thought.

l guess there’s always a small chance something will happen, but it wouldn’t stop me letting a 13 year old go to a friends house.

@orwellwasright
A vast amount of dog bites are human error, very few dogs randomly bite, there does tend to be a reason/situation

I only let my kids go to houses where I have a good idea of what the dog is like.
One of my dogs was a bit off around new people, I always kept her seperate in a room when we had visitors and would always tell parents that she would be kept away too.
For me, I wouldnt have risked it.

It's not victim blaming to say that many dog bites are down to human error and poor judgement.

Lots of people know nothing about canine body language and therefore don't know when their behaviour is making a dog uncomfortable. The dog, feeling ignored and overwhelmed, then escalates to a growl, snap or bite (to get the human away). Of course, the human does then go away and the dog thinks "excellent, next time all I need to do is growl/snap/bite when they won't leave me alone."

If you're going to spend time around dogs, it's never a bad thing to learn about their body language so you can de-escalate a situation and learn what the dog does or doesn't like.

I think this is what I want to do, but feel like I would be limiting my DC.

Did you apply this even when they were in secondary?

None of this applies to the three situations in my OP, just to be clear.

However, I wouldn't want my kids to have to be vigilant and watching for the signs that a dog is about to get aggressive, that is not a fun environment for a kid. I want my kid to ignore the dog and the dog to ignore my kid!

I would be a bit concerned, as the majority of dog owners like to think they have control over their animals, but actually don't.

Anyone spending lots of time around dogs should be aware of the signs of fear and aggression - it's not about being constantly vigilant, but just aware of your actions and the dog's behaviour too.

If you have dogs in the family, I would hope you're all already aware of the signs of aggression and how they can escalate from lip-licking and whale eye, through to a snarl, a snap, and a bite?

I’m a real dog person and currently fairly squashed by the Labrador on my lap. He’s a really lovely, gentle dog and I can’t imagine him ever biting anyone but I would never leave him alone in the room with visiting children and with toddlers I would put him in the kitchen before they came. I expect the risk to a 13 year old would be very small indeed. I do remember thinking that I wouldn’t choose a childminder with a dog though so I don’t think You ABU.