To worry about family dogs when kids visit friends' houses?

[DogVisitingConcern]

My DC (13) has been invited to someone's house for the first time, they have a dog and I have no idea what the dog is like.

I have no reason to assume it will be an unpleasant dog, or the family not responsible with the dog, but it really makes me uneasy because:

• I have been bitten by a dog


• My DH has been bitten by a dog


• My youngest was almost bitten but we managed to lift them out of the way in time (they were small when it happened)


• My extended family have had dogs that were a bit moody

Do you worry about dogs when sending your kid round to new homes? I am not into dogs, I grew up with them, I consider them a PITA but I don't quake around them.

YABU = I don't worry about unknown pet dogs when my kids go to friends' houses
YANBU = I do worry about unknown pet dogs when my kids go to friends' houses

I also struggle to believe that on three seperate occasions three different dogs randomly ran up and bit you, then your husband and nearly bit your child, when you were all doing nothing. So either that’s nonsense or there is something unsaid.
Why on earth should this be nonsense? Dogs are everywhere; dogs are known to bite people. So many posts on this thread are very telling. And I don’t think OP does have a huge or irrational fear of dogs; I think she has a sensible, healthy approach based on attitudes like yours and others on the thread – dog owners who blame the victims for being near their dogs incorrectly.

It totally depends on the type of dog and how the dog has been raised.

Dogs are different now. I handled probably hundreds of dogs, albeit nearly 30 years ago. It was very rare to meet one that was truly aggressive. It is now so common. Whether that's due to more dogs, poor training, abusive owners or different breeds, I don't know. It is reasonable to say you are not comfortable with your child being around them due to past experiences. It is not reasonable to expect a child to remember a list of micro signals and think that will be effective. Maybe you should just talk to the owners, Op. If they are reasonable they will understand. With a full description of a dog you can make an assessment. Generally, if it's a smaller dog it's possible to keep your face away, and easier to control, obviously.

I also struggle to believe that on three seperate occasions three different dogs randomly ran up and bit you, then your husband and nearly bit your child, when you were all doing nothing

I don't find it difficult to believe at all. I've been bitten twice and also 2 family members. By random dogs we didn't even know. Just walking past an open gate and a jack Russell tore out and bit my ankle. My brother was on a bus and got nipped as he walked by. Another time by a friend's German Shepherd running loose in the street. Outside his own house! Another dog in the street bit a child (not for the first time) and had to be pts. Finally. It's really not hard to believe at all.

The more experience I have of dogs, the more wary I become. The reality is that dog bites are common, most dogs are badly trained and unpredictable, and a large proportion of owners think their dog would never bite. Dog body language is useful for certain situations (generally if you are doing something unpleasant to the dog) but if your dog is well trained and you are respectful there should be no need for it really. Certainly not for a teenage guest who doesn't interact with the dog.

For me I would not be worried about a sensible 13 yo with smaller dogs or larger dogs such as labradors. I mean a bite could happen but it's unlikely to be serious. I would be more wary about rottweilers, gsd, bull breeds, unless they had sensible owners, which seems to be much less common for the latter than the former 2!

I'd be more worried about them being injured by a car driver than this

However, everyone who comes into contact with dogs will benefit from having a basic understanding of dog body language - particularly the subtle signals that tell us they're not comfortable

Wagging tail doesn't always mean the dog is happy either, just that it's emotionally aroused.

I can genuinely say that it wouldn’t even cross my mind. Pets are a normal part of life as far as I’m concerned. We’ve got a dog (staffie) and a cat. They’ve never been a problem when dd’s friends come over.

I've literally just read a story about a little girl who almost had her face ripped off by a placid, family St Bernard that had never shown any signs of aggression before.
I guess I just don't trust people I don't know so well to supervise their pets' interactions with my child as much as I would.

So, I did drop him off, and the dog was in another room anyway, the mum said she always did that for visitors. The good thing is they had a really nice time and hopefully I can return the favour sometime soon.

I am grateful for everyone posting, even those I don't agree with, because talking/typing things through helps me think.

That's great, and the Mum sounds very sensible.

Glad dog was in another room.
As I said I always do that, not all dog owners are numpties.

What dog was it?

Still don't know, I totally forgot to ask once I realised a) its bark was that of a smaller dog and b) the mum was approachable so my DS would be fine at theirs. I'm a prat for forgetting to ask!!

Yes this is what I need to remember. I guess what this thread has shown me is I'm not really scared of dogs, I'm scared of some owners.

I have a dog and I always put her away in another room when we have visitors, especially children.

I always find the worst child visitors where the dog is concerned, often have their own dogs. And try and put their face in the dog's (for kisses 🙄), sit in her bed, pick her up, lay on the floor and encourage the dog to climb all over them etc.

So I quickly learnt that separation is best.

This is a good video (far from comprehensive, but useful)
m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid02nncfKHRT2TWchhSMuvymCaXLWMgniAmG7hWi6kSvZdn3kLfZdwDbYr2J2TYBK4xfl&id=1097774151

How people can keep an animal in their home which could do serious damage to their children is beyond me. Never mind teach everybody every nuance of dog behaviour and then cross your fingers. Just don't have it there.

Speak to the parent and explain why you are anxious about their dog. The vast majority of dogs never bite anyway.

Frankly their siblings are more likely to do serious harm than the dogs. They're better behaved than the kids sometimes!

Yes this is what I need to remember. I guess what this thread has shown me is I'm not really scared of dogs, I'm scared of some owners

Yep, this, and you are right to be.

Good to read of someone who recognised that their dog could react in a way that could cause alarm, glad to read it was all good in the end.

It has never occurred to me to be worried about this! Saying that, my 2 aren't quite of an age yet of going off to play at friends houses independently. Plus they've grown up with a dog, so I'd like to generally think we've taught them how to behave around dogs.

Why is this even relevant?

Just curious 🤷‍♀️