To worry about family dogs when kids visit friends' houses?

[DogVisitingConcern]

My DC (13) has been invited to someone's house for the first time, they have a dog and I have no idea what the dog is like.

I have no reason to assume it will be an unpleasant dog, or the family not responsible with the dog, but it really makes me uneasy because:

• I have been bitten by a dog


• My DH has been bitten by a dog


• My youngest was almost bitten but we managed to lift them out of the way in time (they were small when it happened)


• My extended family have had dogs that were a bit moody

Do you worry about dogs when sending your kid round to new homes? I am not into dogs, I grew up with them, I consider them a PITA but I don't quake around them.

YABU = I don't worry about unknown pet dogs when my kids go to friends' houses
YANBU = I do worry about unknown pet dogs when my kids go to friends' houses

you’re being absolutely ridiculous.

Also, there are going to b times even at 13 when the parents won’t be home, and if you forbid him from going to houses where there are dogs he just won’t tell you that there are dogs.

In fact at 13 you’re pretty much past the point where you can tell him who he can and can’t be friends with.

He has been taught what to do if a dog approaches him in public. He has been taught to leave dogs alone. He has not been taught to interpret every dog he is ignoring all the time.

I think you are expecting a high level of engagement.

Nobody has said all dog bites are the fault of humans - but many bites do happen because many people are unaware of canine body language and think that just because the dog isn't growling or bearing teeth, it's happy.

So, no, you can't always predict a bite and learning about body language etc. won't always protect you, but equally it's never going to be a bad thing either.

I think maybe you misunderstood something I said, there is no forbidding going on.

Again I think you have misunderstood something, of course I can not.

I guess if this is the general expectation from dog owners, my child would be better not to go.

It's not "the general expectation from dog owners"

It's basic common sense to teach your kids how to deal with potential hazards, including dogs and cats.

Do you expect drivers to always watch out for pedestrians or teach your kids to be alert and to cross the street safely?

How about striking up conversations with strangers?

He has been taught what to do if a dog approaches him in public. He has been taught to leave dogs alone.

And that's excellent, but you're always going to come across dogs who will try and approach or interact, so it's always better to know what to do in those situations, surely?

He has not been taught to interpret every dog he is ignoring all the time.

Again, if he's ignoring the dog and the dog is ignoring him, he doesn't need to interpret anything! But it's idealistic to expect family pets not to try and engage with guests and ask for fuss or attention.

I think you are expecting a high level of engagement.

I think you're misinterpreting my posts tbh - he doesn't need to be constantly looking at every dog he meets, but at some point a dog will try and play with him, jump at him or interact with him, so it's in his best interests to know what to do if ignoring doesn't help.

Someone needs to know about dog behaviour and, ideally, that should be the owner. So, as a parent you have 3 choices:

• trust the owners know enough to keep your child safe
• don't let your child go
• give your child some back up knowledge that may come in useful to help keep them safe (especially if the owners don't know as uch as they should)

Not sure there is another option?

He has not been taught to interpret every dog he is ignoring all the time.

I think you are expecting a high level of engagement.

No, you are misreading basic common sense advice that is being posted here.

Nobody is saying 'Be alert at all times'.

If you're standing by the side of the street chatting with a friend, you do not have to be alert for all the traffic going past at all times. It's the same with dogs.

As a dog owner I only arrange play dates for my DS (10) when I know the dog is at daycare or DH can take her for a walk. She is the soppiest dog alive for family but is nervous and was nippy when younger so it is not worth the risk for me. I don’t think she’d bite, but dear god I wouldn’t be able to cope with the guilt if she did so better not to put her in that situation.

I put YANBU, I have similar concerns. DDs primary school age and I dread her being asked to play at someone’s house (reception so hasn’t happened yet!) because we live in an area with lots of big breed dogs bought by twats who have no idea what they’re doing but want to look tough. The house opposite us has a husky which is aggressive to people and other dogs and they just let it out to wander whenever they go to their car, it’s snapped at lots of people.

I don’t worry so much about the dogs, I like dogs (my parents have 2 Romanian rescues and DD is used to dogs and knows how to behave around them) but I worry more about irresponsible owners.

So, if a dog is not growling when a child visits, what are the other signs they should check for to know whether it might bite? Just asking as recently a dog tried to bite my child at a relative's house. Dog was wagging tail when we arrived, owner asked my child to stroke him on the chest as dog was very friendly, dog then snapped and was knocked out of the way at the last moment. I handled many dogs as a veterinary nurse, often alone, and always liked them. Since having children I see them a bit differently, they do seem to go for children quite a lot. Anyway, just wondered what these other warning signs might be if dog is not growling.

Unfortunately in my experience there are a lot of twatty owners who will not offer to have their dog in another room or to pull it off you when it’s jumping on you because “ it’s the dogs home” and sometimes it’s not obvious what type of owners a person will be.

Genuine question: do veterinarian nurse's not get some training in dog behaviour? Just expected to handle them alone without it. That's actually awful if so!

So, if a dog is not growling when a child visits, what are the other signs they should check for to know whether it might bite?

Whale eye (when the dog shows the whites of its eyes)
Yawning
Lip-licking
Turning the head away
Avoiding eye contact

Dog was wagging tail when we arrived, owner asked my child to stroke him on the chest as dog was very friendly, dog then snapped and was knocked out of the way at the last moment.

A wagging tail also isn't necessarily a sign of a happy dog - it can be a sign of aggression or over-arousal too.

I think at 13 you have to let go. He will go to the house of friends you've never met, or even heard of before, never mind knowing in advance if they have a dog. It's just part of being a teenager and starting to work life out for yourself.

Well, your son has seen a picture of this dog. If it looks like the attached pic then beat avoid 😂otherwise you're being ridiculous. All my daughter's friends have dogs and they are all small friendly family pets.

best avoid*

@RockAndOrRoll Yeah I was 17 in the late 80s. No, no dog handling training, 24 hour shifts, lone working, about 35 quid a week with a shared flat thrown in. Lots of medical training, and I'd worked in RSPCA kennels before though. Never bitten by a dog, nor any of the other girls while I was there. I expect nurses are better looked after now!

Ah, interesting, I will pass this on to my child. To be fair I didn't notice any of these except the wagging tail, so we will pay closer attention. Useful info, I don't know if it's helpful to OP. It probably is difficult for anyone who is slightly distracted to notice all these movements.

A wagging tail also isn't necessarily a sign of a happy dog - it can be a sign of aggression or over-arousal too. This demonstrates it is not easy to interpret an animal.

I hope so! Sounds really unfair on you!

But it does teach you not to assume that a dog that approaches with a wagging tail isn't necessarily friendly.

It's impossible to always successfully interpret a dogs' body language but learning the basics will never be a bad thing so I'm really not sure why so many people seem to be against teaching it to their kids.

Why would you not want to do all you can to keep them safe in the event they do come across an unfriendly dog?