Finding some parents rather pretentious...

[Burgoo]

I think its a minority though I have noticed over some time that there is a pattern where some parents almost seem a bit precious and pretentious about how much they do with their kids or what they give them.

I've seen a few instances where people say how they only feed their kids organic food, they have all these scheduled activities lined up, always available emotionally and present in the moment etc. Whilst that sounds great I do sometimes wonder whether it feels a bit of a "better parent" competition at times.

I feed my child whatever happens to be available in the house and I don't have the time to be messing around with carefully prepped meal plans and structured activities to occupy my child 24/7. Whilst I understand that those things are ideal, I often wonder why people feel the need to constantly bleat on about it, like it somehow makes them better parents (and as a by-product, better human beings). It feels like BS a lot of the time.

I've noticed that my partner and I often read online suggestions for things for/to do with/to feed our kid. There are meticulously arranged meal plans that sound absolutely ludicrous - avocado, mackerel, hummus, eggs and spinach muffins - I'd need a live in chef just to be able to get it all done. That's without the sheer amount of money these types of meal plans cost!

I don't begrudge people doing the best they can for their kids. It just comes off sanctimonious clap-trap when people bang on about it online.

My philosophy with kids is:

1. Moderation, moderation, moderation... my kid eats anything from prawns and chicken to broccoli and curry (low-fat mind). She is a perfect weight, doesn't eat huge amounts of junk but we don't go on some mental plan for her
2. Give your kid a bit of time to do nothing! I see so many parents having to be "doing" something with their kids all the time. Its a nice way to get your kids to avoid emotions and not be able to sit doing nothing for a while. I see it every day in my working life and I can see where it is going a mile off
3. Stop hovering! My partner does this and it drives me mad. If my kid falls over, she can get up. She will learn its okay. Waiting for a catastrophe to happen isn't going to make a child feel anything but neurotic.
4. Your kids are going to F up, alot! Don't put them on a pedestal; they will inevitably let you down and that is completely fine. We all do. I've seen so many parents who believe the sun shines out their kids rear ends.
5. Follow through with a consequence and take off the punishment once the kid has done what s/he's told. Parents saying "if you don't do X we are going home" is the one that always gets me going. I want to say "no you aren't and you will regret it later!"

Sorry for the rant. Please don't anyone take this as a personal attack, its just an observation.

My point was, it'd be a nicer world if people stopped trying to one up each other with their stuff on here.

Given that you attempted to make that point by one upping everyone else, your lack of self awareness is utterly hilarious.

It's interesting how people didn't want to engage their brains in reflection and the sheer level of defensiveness to this suggestion may indicate that people are a bit sensitive to it being gently pointed out.

@Burgoo this is the most ironic bit of your post, all these responses saying you are BU and yet you couldn’t bear to engage your brain in reflection and ended up being defensive and (very) sensitive to it being gently pointed out. Not sure your even a real poster it’s that ridiculous but I enjoyed it anyway 😃

Sweetie, you don't GET a view! You've got one young child. it's like a new jogger trying to educate Olympic runners. You don't know shit yet.

There are two possibilities here

1. instagram is not reality
2. Concerted Cultivation is a recognized style of parenting that some social groups engage in. It has been shown to have advantages and disadvantages just like any other style of parenting.

Thanks for the laugh 😂

I took this part to mean parents who don’t believe their kid would do any wrong like ‘The teacher must be lying when they said little precious chucked a book at their head’

‘Low fat, mind’ sound like something out of a modern day Josephine Cox novel

My point was, it'd be a nicer world if people stopped trying to one up each other with their stuff on here.

That point was rather lost in the fact that you are a raging hypocrite.

You do you. I feed my child fish fingers, bribe them to behave with ice cream and chocolate and both my friend and I freely admit that we're probably completely failing at parenting. But our kids are still alive and kicking and seem OK (indeed, like 99.9% of other children). Most children will turn out OK whether given super-charged helicopter parenting, smug benignly neglectful 'free spirit' parenting or guilty "Let's just have the TV on for a bit, shall we?" haribo parenting (or a mixture of all of these). So I can't really get exercised about how other people parent their children, so long as they don't behave like the messiah of parenting, come to enlighten us all.

Fuck is low fat curry?

Kids shouldn't have low fat anything so for that alone YABU

What's a low fat curry? Diet cardamom pods? Cut the amount of coriander by half?

Haha "other parents are so precious" followed by "I only feed my DC low fat".

I hear you, OP. It's what I call 'display parenting'.

I don't begrudge people doing the best they can for their kids. It just comes off sanctimonious clap-trap when people bang on about it online. followed by banging on about your 5 rules.

@Burgoo but.....maybe they're not all trying to one-up each other?

Hummus could also be.....just a way to get a different protein source into their child in a way that makes a nice snack. Hardly performance parenting.

Frankly you seem to have yourself on quite the pedestal.

They can do what they want... you can do what you want...
In the end, does it really matter so long as you all have healthy happy children

I'm still not over the OP's selection of 'ludicrous' foods. They're all quite standard no? Mackerel is a niche choice perhaps, but hardly showy. The opposite really.

As usual mumsnet never failing to entertain me. Love the idea of eggs being some sort of complicated food stuff.

How? I'm not a middle class Amanda. My son's diet is mainly Haribo and Aldi tortilla wraps - not even the seeded ones, just the plain white ones. He has many devices and I don't really limit screen time. You get the picture. And I think the OP is just being called out for her hypocrisy and inverted snobbery.

Guys, guys, have you tried being a bit more like me, yeah?

Have we established if the OP is a fella? Strong man vibes.

No one likes to think they are a bad parent but some do come across like everything has to be perfect, and it doesn't. This thread made me think that maybe over controlling perfectionist parents is what leads to children developing mental health issues, like anxiety, eating disorders or self harm which in some instances can be about taking back control.

"I'm not like other girls" - mum edition

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

The ALOLGORITHM strikes again..

Those parents who proudly state their kids have never set foot in a macdonalds