Finding some parents rather pretentious...

[Burgoo]

I think its a minority though I have noticed over some time that there is a pattern where some parents almost seem a bit precious and pretentious about how much they do with their kids or what they give them.

I've seen a few instances where people say how they only feed their kids organic food, they have all these scheduled activities lined up, always available emotionally and present in the moment etc. Whilst that sounds great I do sometimes wonder whether it feels a bit of a "better parent" competition at times.

I feed my child whatever happens to be available in the house and I don't have the time to be messing around with carefully prepped meal plans and structured activities to occupy my child 24/7. Whilst I understand that those things are ideal, I often wonder why people feel the need to constantly bleat on about it, like it somehow makes them better parents (and as a by-product, better human beings). It feels like BS a lot of the time.

I've noticed that my partner and I often read online suggestions for things for/to do with/to feed our kid. There are meticulously arranged meal plans that sound absolutely ludicrous - avocado, mackerel, hummus, eggs and spinach muffins - I'd need a live in chef just to be able to get it all done. That's without the sheer amount of money these types of meal plans cost!

I don't begrudge people doing the best they can for their kids. It just comes off sanctimonious clap-trap when people bang on about it online.

My philosophy with kids is:

1. Moderation, moderation, moderation... my kid eats anything from prawns and chicken to broccoli and curry (low-fat mind). She is a perfect weight, doesn't eat huge amounts of junk but we don't go on some mental plan for her
2. Give your kid a bit of time to do nothing! I see so many parents having to be "doing" something with their kids all the time. Its a nice way to get your kids to avoid emotions and not be able to sit doing nothing for a while. I see it every day in my working life and I can see where it is going a mile off
3. Stop hovering! My partner does this and it drives me mad. If my kid falls over, she can get up. She will learn its okay. Waiting for a catastrophe to happen isn't going to make a child feel anything but neurotic.
4. Your kids are going to F up, alot! Don't put them on a pedestal; they will inevitably let you down and that is completely fine. We all do. I've seen so many parents who believe the sun shines out their kids rear ends.
5. Follow through with a consequence and take off the punishment once the kid has done what s/he's told. Parents saying "if you don't do X we are going home" is the one that always gets me going. I want to say "no you aren't and you will regret it later!"

Sorry for the rant. Please don't anyone take this as a personal attack, its just an observation.

@Burgoo Great down to earth post.
Couldn't agree more.

100% this.

I don't give a damn what you or anyone else think about my parenting. Eggs, avocado, humous and spinach may be pretentious in your little world but they are everyday diet for millions of others (and not particularly expensive)

You do you (and maybe if you stop judging others, you might not feel so judged yourself)

How old is your daughter?

I agree @TabithaTittlemouse . A couple of times a week though I am literally microwaving a potato and sticking on a plate with a dollop of houmous (oops prentious!) and a tomato, or a similar no time/money unplanned meal. He's fed, he's happy. No washing up added bonus

Moderation, moderation, moderation... my kid eats anything from prawns and chicken to broccoli and curry (low-fat mind). She is a perfect weight, doesn't eat huge amounts of junk but we don't go on some mental plan for her

You have just let your underlying hidden food issues show clearly here. You will pass them on to your child if you are not careful.

It’s the low fat curry bit which amuses me most.

Fish, veg and egg muffins really aren’t complicated or expensive op. I’ve just homemade Mexican style fish cakes with smoked basa, charred sweetcorn salsa and lime mayo for my dc. It’s not hard to pick up a cookbook and it really doesn’t take much time or money to cook properly. I must be the shittest parent in the world 🙄

LOLing at the fact that all these hummus-feeding 'pretentious parents' are living rent-free in your head. You're obviously not quite as confident in your own choices as you claim or it wouldn't bother you.

Incredible posting. I think it’s a deliberate troll but I don’t even care because it’s masterfully done

Totally agree with you. Kids should be allowed time to play, on their own, or with their siblings or friends. They go to school to learn so should be allowed to choose what they do out of school to relax. If they want to do activities - fine, let them if it’s affordable but don’t force it on them. So much pressure is put on kids and they never build up any resilience to life. It’s no wonder so many of them have mental health issues

Agree. Got journo written all over it

I often wonder why people feel the need to constantly bleat on

Yes, indeed.

Why not just raise your children your way and accept that others are doing it their way.

You sounds really smug and judgement, and equally as pretentious as the parents you describe..

I suspect this is simply a goady thread.

And lol at 'avocado, mackerel, hummus, eggs and spinach muffins' being 'absolutely ludicrous' 😄

^^This.

I mean, I sort of get that this is a rant, OP, but you do come across as not just annoyed but really judgmental. And I don't think your philosophy is inherently better for all kids in all ways, though it probably works fine for most and mirrors what i try and do for the most part.

I better turn myself into the mum police, I gave my kid a curry that wasn't specifically 'low fat'. Whatever the hell that means. Do you normally make your curries extremely oily or something?

This! With your low fat, of course! curry.

If you are talking about performance parenting , then I agree with you!

How old is your PFB? Sorry, but I wonder if you have many parent friends OP?

My MIL is the best parent I know. She had a whole tribe of kids and didn't have time for any bullshit. Everyone was kept alive, everyone was loved, her kids all grew up to be lovely, interesting, close, smart and happy people.

Isn’t it ironic …. Don’t you think ?? 🤣🤣🤣

Oh dear @Burgoo off you trot

You win the mumsnet medal for hypocrisy!

You should have plenty of time to admire it while your children sit around doing nothing, eating whatever is in the house!

@Housenoob she won’t make them! She doesn’t have a chef you know! Maybe she buys the weight watches ones.