Finding some parents rather pretentious...

[Burgoo]

I think its a minority though I have noticed over some time that there is a pattern where some parents almost seem a bit precious and pretentious about how much they do with their kids or what they give them.

I've seen a few instances where people say how they only feed their kids organic food, they have all these scheduled activities lined up, always available emotionally and present in the moment etc. Whilst that sounds great I do sometimes wonder whether it feels a bit of a "better parent" competition at times.

I feed my child whatever happens to be available in the house and I don't have the time to be messing around with carefully prepped meal plans and structured activities to occupy my child 24/7. Whilst I understand that those things are ideal, I often wonder why people feel the need to constantly bleat on about it, like it somehow makes them better parents (and as a by-product, better human beings). It feels like BS a lot of the time.

I've noticed that my partner and I often read online suggestions for things for/to do with/to feed our kid. There are meticulously arranged meal plans that sound absolutely ludicrous - avocado, mackerel, hummus, eggs and spinach muffins - I'd need a live in chef just to be able to get it all done. That's without the sheer amount of money these types of meal plans cost!

I don't begrudge people doing the best they can for their kids. It just comes off sanctimonious clap-trap when people bang on about it online.

My philosophy with kids is:

1. Moderation, moderation, moderation... my kid eats anything from prawns and chicken to broccoli and curry (low-fat mind). She is a perfect weight, doesn't eat huge amounts of junk but we don't go on some mental plan for her
2. Give your kid a bit of time to do nothing! I see so many parents having to be "doing" something with their kids all the time. Its a nice way to get your kids to avoid emotions and not be able to sit doing nothing for a while. I see it every day in my working life and I can see where it is going a mile off
3. Stop hovering! My partner does this and it drives me mad. If my kid falls over, she can get up. She will learn its okay. Waiting for a catastrophe to happen isn't going to make a child feel anything but neurotic.
4. Your kids are going to F up, alot! Don't put them on a pedestal; they will inevitably let you down and that is completely fine. We all do. I've seen so many parents who believe the sun shines out their kids rear ends.
5. Follow through with a consequence and take off the punishment once the kid has done what s/he's told. Parents saying "if you don't do X we are going home" is the one that always gets me going. I want to say "no you aren't and you will regret it later!"

Sorry for the rant. Please don't anyone take this as a personal attack, its just an observation.

Unless it directly impacts my life in a negative way, I couldn't give less of a shit about how someone else parents their child.

Absolutely LOVE when someone who sounds like their kid is about 2 tries to tell people they've got parenting nailed.

Oh love, you have no idea

I can't get over the low-fat curry detail. Is this curry that you have made that is specially low-fat? Or did you buy it somewhere? And why? I would have thought children are the very people who don't usually need to worry about the fat content of a curry.

Also, how old is your child?

I'm not going to click the YABU button but if there was a YABA button (You are being Annoying) I'd click that

Love you bleating about how you parent your kids while moaning about others doing just that 😂 if you can’t beat them join them I guess!

Who are these people that you are jealous of talking about?

Low fat curry sounds like dog shit with rice. Although ‘Please don't anyone take this as a personal attack, its just an observation’

I don't really understand where you're coming from to be honest.

You start of going on about pretentious parents and meal plans and then you give a list of parenting rules which make you sound just as bad and as though you think you know it all.

You sound as though you possibly have just one quite young child? You'll probably change and adapt your parenting and lifestyle over the years but most of us are just doing our best.

I agree, although Mumsnet was probably the worse place you could have pointed this out, as proved by the replies you've got.

Fwiw, my 3 year old likes a cup of diet cola, and they have chocolate/crisps/whatever every day. I'll probably be called an abusive parent or something, but I think this sort of thing is actually completely normal for the majority of families.

So, you see me taking my child to several organised activities a week.... what you don’t realise is these activities form a huge part of this therapies for his disabilities.
You see me hovering, he’s deaf with cerebral palsy so he can’t get up. He can’t hear me call to him.
You see me feed him certain foods you deem pretentious. They are because he has a tracheosphogeal fistula and may choke to death on certain foods.

Not one of his disabilities is immediately obvious so I just look pretentious??

You do you, because quite frankly you come across way worse that any prevention I may appear to have.

I’m too busy dragging my kids up badly whilst feeding them full fat curry to give a toss about how anyone else is parenting. But good for you for clarifying your philosophy without anyone asking, well done you 🙄

Calling people out for being pretentious just makes you sound a bit rough.

Pot...kettle...black

I have questions but I imagine OP is a drop and go kind of poster.

Depending on the age of your kid, pretty sure you're not meant to feed them low fat stuff 🤷‍♀️

I tend to find that most people are very gung ho with younger primary age kids.

By the time kids are 10/11 secondary- most people have calmed the heck down.

Having a second child helps this as you realise how different kids are and how little that seems to go well with your eldest might actually be about you ....

YABU

you sound very judgey and not very nice. Not sure why you think your parenting philosophy is the only right one or that it’s any less pretentious than anyone else’s. Nobody cares about your philosophy.

parent your kids your way and let other people parent their kids their way.

This post massively backfired on you didn't it 😂

With the exception of mackerel (which I accept might not be everyone’s cup of tea), what’s ludicrous about that list of foods?

Oh the irony of this post 😂

I don't have the time to be messing around with carefully prepped meal plans and structured activities to occupy my child 24/7. Whilst I understand that those things are ideal,

I don’t even agree that those things are “ideal”. Broadly balanced family food in appropriate servings and one or two group activities, if the child is interested, are fine,

You sound deranged.

And why low fat anything for a child?! Bonkers.

One small kid, OP? Bless you. You'll (hopefully) cringe at this in a few years.

YABU btw. Very

Avocado, mackerel, hummus, eggs and spinach muffins

Eh? They aren't exactly niche foods and the only one of those that requires any kind of basic cooking skill is the muffins...

Avocado and mackerel are ready to go and if you can't scramble an egg then you need help.

Hummus you can buy in pots or make in a food processor in, like, 90 seconds.

Also, most baby food sold is organic so you might be in the minority there depending on your DC's age.

I don't agree with cramming children's free time with loads of activities either personally but I don't see what's pretentious about it.

Therefore, YABU.

this.

I would actually love the time, money and know how to have my children eating amazing meals made from scratch every single time and all of them attending all the clubs and activities they love and doing all their homework in a beautifully planned way so they get the most out of their childhoods and develop with the best nutrition nd inspiration possible.
As it happens, I don't always have the time, money or know how to do every thing in the best way possible, but I do my best, certainly don't look down on those who manage to do even more! They are doing a fantastic job, as are everyone else who put as much thought and time as they possible can into raising their children. However you do it, just do it well!

I would like to know why prawns and chicken and broccoli are acceptable to you, but mackerel and hummus and spinach and eggs are somehow snobby and pretentious? Mackerel?

I love going to clubs and hobbies with my DC. We both do the same sports. Some kids like having hobbies, you know. Some kids even like to eat 'pretentious' food!