Finding some parents rather pretentious...

[Burgoo]

I think its a minority though I have noticed over some time that there is a pattern where some parents almost seem a bit precious and pretentious about how much they do with their kids or what they give them.

I've seen a few instances where people say how they only feed their kids organic food, they have all these scheduled activities lined up, always available emotionally and present in the moment etc. Whilst that sounds great I do sometimes wonder whether it feels a bit of a "better parent" competition at times.

I feed my child whatever happens to be available in the house and I don't have the time to be messing around with carefully prepped meal plans and structured activities to occupy my child 24/7. Whilst I understand that those things are ideal, I often wonder why people feel the need to constantly bleat on about it, like it somehow makes them better parents (and as a by-product, better human beings). It feels like BS a lot of the time.

I've noticed that my partner and I often read online suggestions for things for/to do with/to feed our kid. There are meticulously arranged meal plans that sound absolutely ludicrous - avocado, mackerel, hummus, eggs and spinach muffins - I'd need a live in chef just to be able to get it all done. That's without the sheer amount of money these types of meal plans cost!

I don't begrudge people doing the best they can for their kids. It just comes off sanctimonious clap-trap when people bang on about it online.

My philosophy with kids is:

1. Moderation, moderation, moderation... my kid eats anything from prawns and chicken to broccoli and curry (low-fat mind). She is a perfect weight, doesn't eat huge amounts of junk but we don't go on some mental plan for her
2. Give your kid a bit of time to do nothing! I see so many parents having to be "doing" something with their kids all the time. Its a nice way to get your kids to avoid emotions and not be able to sit doing nothing for a while. I see it every day in my working life and I can see where it is going a mile off
3. Stop hovering! My partner does this and it drives me mad. If my kid falls over, she can get up. She will learn its okay. Waiting for a catastrophe to happen isn't going to make a child feel anything but neurotic.
4. Your kids are going to F up, alot! Don't put them on a pedestal; they will inevitably let you down and that is completely fine. We all do. I've seen so many parents who believe the sun shines out their kids rear ends.
5. Follow through with a consequence and take off the punishment once the kid has done what s/he's told. Parents saying "if you don't do X we are going home" is the one that always gets me going. I want to say "no you aren't and you will regret it later!"

Sorry for the rant. Please don't anyone take this as a personal attack, its just an observation.

You sound very judgemental, and humble brag like

Are you trying to mansplain good parenting to us?

Mumsplaining

There is a very male tone to the post, I think it's mansplaining.

I’d put money on it being a man.

Is this a windup?

Going against the grain here and I'll probably get flamed but I agree. I'm in my 50s and when I was a kid people just didn't used to make such a meal of parenting as they do now (making the child/ren the centre of one's world wasn't such a thing for starters - the kids were cherished family members but not the star around which everything else had to orbit at all times) and my generation mostly turned out fine.

The idea of children coming before the adults' relationship and being the centre at everything at all times, is relatively new and tbh I think it's a contributory factor towards the increase in bad behaviour from some children. (I said some.)

And some of it is performance parenting, c'mon. We've all seen performance parenting in action at one time or another even if we aren't guilty of it ourselves.

It just comes off sanctimonious clap-trap when people bang on about it online.

Oh, the irony...

What is the point of low fat curry? Is it to get as much sugar as you can in them?

Thus. Your entire post is judging other parents. Stick to your own business!

We've had a good giggle at your post. I think you sound like hard work.

Low-fat curry? Urgh, that poor child.

Most likely all just a wind-up, though.

Is this the definition of irony?

If other people waxing lyrical about their parenting styles annoys you (??!!), just get off social media. That’s the only place I can think you are coming across it.

I don’t come across many people IRL who hand out their parenting manifesto off the cuff.

Parents saying "if you don't do X we are going home" is the one that always gets me going.

Why? To be honest, you only ever have to carry it through once and actually march them off home, and they learn you mean business.

OP: "I often wonder why people feel the need to constantly bleat on about it, like it somehow makes them better parent"

Also OP: bleats on about lists her methods and implies it somehow makes her a better parent

Absolutely! So many about I see it at school and hear it all of the time. Parents with the perfect teenagers and I am thinking. Yea right.

But then bam OP you ruined it. With weird rules and no go with the flow.

Why would you give a child low fat curry?

And here you are, preaching what an amazing parent you are.

The problem is that no one should tell anyone else how to do anything, full stop. The END. There will be plenty of things you’ve done wrong as well OP but we learn as we go along in terms of parenting and that’s perfectly alright and normal. We are all just trying our best to get through the day and a post like this could really trigger people who are just staying afloat and already feeling judged.

Yes but then the OP did the same herself. So is getting a hard time.

Yep. What they all said. There is nothing inherently pretentious or complicated about any of the things you mentioned. You just sound like a parenting inverse snob with a bit of a chip on your shoulder.

And ok yeah, I’ll bite…

why am I not allowed to think the sun shines out of my children’s arses? It’s my actual job to be their champion because if I can’t, who else is going to? Yeah they might make mistakes, doesn’t mean I still don’t think the sun shines out of their arse.

How old is your child?

PyjamaFan · Today 16:55

You sound just as bad to be honest.

Yep

👏