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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think holidays with kids are SHIT

393 replies

Holibollocks · 28/05/2022 15:46

Caveat: I know we are really really lucky to be able to afford to go on holiday.

But. WTAF??! Why is this so shit?!! Kids are 4 and 8 and this is the first 'big' holiday we've been on. Previously it's always been camping or self catering-didn't go away at all during covid and I'm a nurse so we felt like it was worth splashing out a bit for a half term break and we've gone for an all inclusive thing.

Anyway, we're 2 days in and to be honest it would be easier being at work. Every single tiny little thing they have whinged and moaned and complained and then when I thought they couldn't complain anymore they've somehow managed it. Constant fucking requests that go beyond anything I've experienced with them at home...followed by more whinging. So far it's shit. Expensive shit.

What am I doing wrong?? What is the secret to making this a great holiday?

OP posts:
Cherryana · 28/05/2022 15:47

The secret: Low expectations

Threetulips · 28/05/2022 15:48

Kids clubs.
Wine.
Husband who takes them swimming.

Thedogscollar · 28/05/2022 15:49

Kids club?
Give you a bit of a breather.

2pinkginsplease · 28/05/2022 15:49

I think we build holidays up to be something wonderful, different and relaxing whereas it’s never ever relaxing when you holiday with children.

it’s all down to expectations and sometimes we need to lower them, children get bored and the rain pisses them off, the heat makes them cranky.

in general, for us, the good holidays definitely outweigh the crap ones, you just have to plan and be organised at what you are doing each day,

Barleysugar86 · 28/05/2022 15:50

Haha. Yeah. I mean there are some less shit moments? I found a bag of beach toys well worth the investment to get at least twenty minutes peace with a book!

They had kids club babysitting at our resort. We didn't. But I was soooo tempted....

nomistake · 28/05/2022 15:51

We ensured we booked somewhere with a kids club. But my hopes and expectations are still low. I'm half excited and half dreading. I'm hoping they pass out at 8pm so we can at least enjoy a sangria on the balcony in peace

runnerblade95 · 28/05/2022 15:51

😅 Could have written this myself.

Just enjoy the evenings when they’re (finally) asleep.

THAT is your holiday. Literally, just that.

Lazypuppy · 28/05/2022 15:51

Depends what they are whinging about.

We've just been away with DD (4yo) and had a great time, but we went with friends who have a similar age child. Swimming each morning anf afternoon, bag of toys and snacks and kindle for when she got cold and wanted to get out the pool. Meant we had plenty of time to sunbathe and relax on loungers next to kids pool as didn't need to be in the water with her at this age now

nearlyspringyay · 28/05/2022 15:51

Same shit, different location.

Chuck them into kids club for a bit.

Roastonsun8 · 28/05/2022 15:52

The trick is to centre your holiday around the kids! Waterpark, kids club and mini disco. Your 8 year should be able to play in the pool whilst you watch him sat on a sun bed. 4 year old can try out kids club and pool.

I do it solo with DS and its not shit.

jackstini · 28/05/2022 15:57

Where are you/what type of holiday?

Kids club, beach toys, get them to make friends with other kids, all inclusive so they get their own drinks, toastier, ice cream etc.

theonlygirl · 28/05/2022 15:58

Threetulips · 28/05/2022 15:48

Kids clubs.
Wine.
Husband who takes them swimming.

as is often the case, 2nd or 3rd response usually nails it.

FlowerArranger · 28/05/2022 15:59

I'm utterly bewildered by these posts. My kids are long grown up but I remember our holidays as the best times of our lives.

We went on holidays from when the kids were one and nearly always did self catering and hired a car. Went to all kinds of places - Portugal, Switzerland, France, many US states - and always had a fantastic time exploring, going to the beach, visiting markets, theme parks,, museums,, eating out, watching foreign TV...

If I could relive those times I'd die happy...

IhatMMc · 28/05/2022 15:59

I agree. Not relaxing at all. Hardly worth the expense or bother.

SecondarySnob · 28/05/2022 16:02

You have to change your expectations, location and tag team.

Pool holidays now we have to take in turn who's in the pool with DC. Although thankfully this year was the first they've been big enough to be able to be in the water with us just watching rather than in with them. They made friends and didn't want anything to do with us.

So for us and friends' parents it worked out very nicely.

We also have more active holidays than we used to. So Disney/Orlando so that everyone is entertained so the whinging time is lessened.

Or where on a beach holiday DH and I as a couple would happily never leave the resort we do now explore the local area etc.

Original poster
Holibollocks · 28/05/2022 16:04

jackstini · 28/05/2022 15:57

Where are you/what type of holiday?

Kids club, beach toys, get them to make friends with other kids, all inclusive so they get their own drinks, toastier, ice cream etc.

Europe, not near beaches but the pools are good. No English speakers that we've heard so far but I think we're going to give the kids club a go.

Then hit the wine.

OP posts:
zafferana · 28/05/2022 16:05

As a parent of slightly older DC I'd say that the problem is high expectations. You've paid a lot of money and I bet you've been really looking forward to this holiday, haven't you? Unfortunately, your kids don't appreciate either of those things and for them it's just a big break from their normal routine without their toys, their bedrooms, their friends, etc.

What can you do about it? Well yes, kids club is a really obvious one, if only to give you and your DH a break. Kids won't go? Tag team. DH and I always do this to some degree on holiday. We both want to go to the art museum? I go and DH watches kids at the pool/playground/on their ipads and then he goes and I watch them. This can also work in an AI setting where one parent takes the kids for a couple of hours while the other goes and lies by the pool with a book and a cocktail. It's not ideal, which is why kid's club is your friend. You park them there for as long as you can get away with and then you do whatever you want.

Original poster
Holibollocks · 28/05/2022 16:05

FlowerArranger · 28/05/2022 15:59

I'm utterly bewildered by these posts. My kids are long grown up but I remember our holidays as the best times of our lives.

We went on holidays from when the kids were one and nearly always did self catering and hired a car. Went to all kinds of places - Portugal, Switzerland, France, many US states - and always had a fantastic time exploring, going to the beach, visiting markets, theme parks,, museums,, eating out, watching foreign TV...

If I could relive those times I'd die happy...

👌🏻 good for you

OP posts:
Bumtum126 · 28/05/2022 16:08

FlowerArranger · 28/05/2022 15:59

I'm utterly bewildered by these posts. My kids are long grown up but I remember our holidays as the best times of our lives.

We went on holidays from when the kids were one and nearly always did self catering and hired a car. Went to all kinds of places - Portugal, Switzerland, France, many US states - and always had a fantastic time exploring, going to the beach, visiting markets, theme parks,, museums,, eating out, watching foreign TV...

If I could relive those times I'd die happy...

Bewildered that others have a different experience to you ? Bit of rose tinted glasses I think.

lioncitygirl · 28/05/2022 16:08

Kids clubs. Water park in the hotel. Beach walking distance. Never had a bad holiday with those things.

confusedlots · 28/05/2022 16:08

Oh I hear you. We've had a day out at a nice local event today, it was fine for the first hour, then the moaning and crying started, over absolutely nothing. They wanted to buy something at the stalls, I said they could, one couldn't decide what to get, then said she didn't want anything, then had a meltdown 5 minutes later about it all. Offered to take her back to the stall but she didn't want to. Whinging about who got to hold daddy's hand, crying because the music was too loud. And now we're home and I'm ready for wine. I often look at other families and think how are they all managing to have a nice day out, and I'm tearing my hair out by the end of it!

No advice, just completely feel your pain!

Original poster
Holibollocks · 28/05/2022 16:09

zafferana · 28/05/2022 16:05

As a parent of slightly older DC I'd say that the problem is high expectations. You've paid a lot of money and I bet you've been really looking forward to this holiday, haven't you? Unfortunately, your kids don't appreciate either of those things and for them it's just a big break from their normal routine without their toys, their bedrooms, their friends, etc.

What can you do about it? Well yes, kids club is a really obvious one, if only to give you and your DH a break. Kids won't go? Tag team. DH and I always do this to some degree on holiday. We both want to go to the art museum? I go and DH watches kids at the pool/playground/on their ipads and then he goes and I watch them. This can also work in an AI setting where one parent takes the kids for a couple of hours while the other goes and lies by the pool with a book and a cocktail. It's not ideal, which is why kid's club is your friend. You park them there for as long as you can get away with and then you do whatever you want.

I think that's the thing-this trip was supposed to be THE holiday 😂
We've been waiting for so long and it's never the kind of thing we'd usually do because of the cost. I think the expectation for us all to have a good time (despite all needing different things) was so high....and clearly unrealistic. Usually I'm pretty logical so I'm also kind of gutted to have got all this so wrong

OP posts:
yellowsuninthesky · 28/05/2022 16:09

I thought you were going to say they were younger. Holidays with older babies/toddlers are definitely to be avoided. I'd say from 9 months to about 2 years old wasn't much fun. After that it got better (he was also ok on a holiday to Scotland when he was six months old).

I don't think we really went anywhere overseas other than visiting friends until he was 4, and by then it was fine. For UK holidays and smaller kids a B&B with a guest lounge is good because you can put them to bed and go to the guest lounge (as it's close by, it's not like a hotel). I don't like self-catering, we've only done it once.

StageRage · 28/05/2022 16:11

What are they moaning about?

The food? Do they not want to play in the pools or other play opportunities? Are they knackered from long journey / not sleeping in strange beds? Sharing a room when usually they don’t?

DaisyQuakeJohnson · 28/05/2022 16:11

I agree with lowering expectations but honestly by the time our youngest was 4, I enjoyed our holidays. I didn't enjoy the ones when they were babies or toddlers because it felt like such a slog but by 4 as long as there was a beach, dinosaurs Grin crazy golf or a museum or art gallery with interactive exhibits, they were happy.