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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think holidays with kids are SHIT

393 replies

Holibollocks · 28/05/2022 15:46

Caveat: I know we are really really lucky to be able to afford to go on holiday.

But. WTAF??! Why is this so shit?!! Kids are 4 and 8 and this is the first 'big' holiday we've been on. Previously it's always been camping or self catering-didn't go away at all during covid and I'm a nurse so we felt like it was worth splashing out a bit for a half term break and we've gone for an all inclusive thing.

Anyway, we're 2 days in and to be honest it would be easier being at work. Every single tiny little thing they have whinged and moaned and complained and then when I thought they couldn't complain anymore they've somehow managed it. Constant fucking requests that go beyond anything I've experienced with them at home...followed by more whinging. So far it's shit. Expensive shit.

What am I doing wrong?? What is the secret to making this a great holiday?

OP posts:
itsgettingweird · 28/05/2022 16:34

Have you tried sticking to the activity when you get there and they moan? Sometimes it's because there is so much and they feel there is no boundaries - and so when they are removed to try and make them happy they feel more out of control.

Also have you tried device and conquer? Walk to the room 1 adults and 1 child at a time. When they act bewildered tell them that you have had enough of their arguing and as they can't walk to get her they won't.

I'd also try and take them for breakfast separately tomorrow and explain again it's because they complain when together.

IME when you do this they suddenly catch on and realise it's easier to stop whinging about non events. And when you actually try and enjoy things often you then actually enjoy them.

Also with the breakfast thing if you do go together I'd just say to kids - go and get it then. And ignore. Don't engage. Don't give any reaction to them.

I think it's so easy to fall into the trap of over appeasing because you think it means everyone will have a great time. But actually all it does is give them actual reason to complain because it gets them something.

Aside from that hitting the AI wine is a great idea Grin

converseandjeans · 28/05/2022 16:36

Sometimes it's because there is so much and they feel there is no boundaries - and so when they are removed to try and make them happy they feel more out of control.

This ☝️

JustLyra · 28/05/2022 16:36

Too many choices perhaps?

holidays always went to shit when I tried to be super relaxed and let the kids decide what to do

Now it’s “Pool or beach this morning?”

With a timer for lunch so they can look (jist on my phone) instead of asking me constantly.

I also end up sounding like a knob when being effusive over their food choices. “Wow waffles - I’d have loved waffles when I was 4… OOH pancakes were my fave when I was 8…” it’s bollocks but it’s effective bollocks

StubbleTurnips · 28/05/2022 16:39

OP - I hear you, today we have spent hours in the car getting to a destination they both wanted to go see - and the moaning before we get there is incessant. In the car now.

Eldest is saying the only good holidays are the one we go to seaside town an hour away for weekends, youngest can’t cope without 7 million fucking hula hoops. Have vowed never to take them very far again. Miserable little sods.

speakout · 28/05/2022 16:40

Wine with lunch.
Makes playing in the pool with kids mush more enjoyable.

museumum · 28/05/2022 16:41

It took us about three years to spot the pattern that dc was always a nightmare on day 1-2 of a holiday. Once we finally twigged it all became easier. Ride out day 2 and he settled. Take your time to get your bearings. Not too many different activities/trips until you’re settled.

Fluffycloudland77 · 28/05/2022 16:44

My parents left me with grandma. Loved it.

ibelieveinmirrorballs · 28/05/2022 16:44

My DC are 12 - last time I took them abroad (2020; to Greece) they both moaned and ignored me to the extent that I decided next time I'd holiday alone. So last year I did luxe Marrakech and this year am doing the same - taking them to a cottage in Snowdonia and that'll be that. I have a stressful job and I need a holiday to be an actual holiday!

MagpieCastle · 28/05/2022 16:45

Pre-covid we had a holiday with teens that was so, so crap that I promised myself never to book a family holiday again. Ever. This year is first post-lockdown family hol. DH has booked and organised. I’m just rocking up. Youngest teen is now 18 and sibs a little older - they have all become fully rounded, great human beings and some are bringing equally lovely partners. But I’ll still be packing my hard hat and low expectations. You have my greatest, sympathy op. At some point it’ll be hols for just you and dh again. Till then you are not alone.

Maireas · 28/05/2022 16:46

They shouldn't really be whinging and moaning that much. That breakfast nonsense needs to stop, if they can't choose without arguing, it's pointless. Just have a firmer approach to the constant moaning. Hopefully you can find things that tire them out more!
Holidays with children aren't for the faint hearted!

digitalstowaway · 28/05/2022 16:46

Oh I'm so glad it's not just me 😳 we just got back from our holiday and DH and I agreed - never again!! At least not for a few years...

Bluestripeddress · 28/05/2022 16:46

What a sad post.

CupidStunt22 · 28/05/2022 16:48

Bumtum126 · 28/05/2022 16:08

Bewildered that others have a different experience to you ? Bit of rose tinted glasses I think.

Show quote history

OP and others are happy to tell everyone that holidays with kids are shit, as if this is some objective truth.

There are always tons of these posts every year, oh holidays are awfuk with kids, they are no fun, waste of money, noone is happy.....that's shit for you, I get it. But it's not the experience everyone has. I for one love holidays with my children, 20 years of it and they are some of best memories..and many more to go.

If you hate holidaying with your children, stop doing it. But don't talk as if everyone hates it, cos we don't.

realsavagelike · 28/05/2022 16:49

OP, couldn't agree more with your assessment of holidays! Single parent of anxious kids here. I have more chance of reversing the rotation of the planets than getting them to a kids' club 😂

Ellie56 · 28/05/2022 16:52

OP if you'd only booked a week at the Premier Inn in Warrington, everything would have been fine...

Stokey · 28/05/2022 16:53

I think routine works for us. We get into a holiday pattern so they know what's happening when. Basically we normally do long breakfast, then pool/beach or other activity, lunch and back to room/villa for some down time in early afternoon when it's hottest. Then late afternoon swim and get washed and dressed for dinner. We've had more active holidays as they've got older but I think factoring in some screen time for them and reading time for us keeps everyone happy.

whoruntheworldgirls · 28/05/2022 16:54

I agree @CupidStunt22
I'm really sorry for those who have had shit stressful holidays and i hope you have some fabulous ones in future, but, maybe I'm lucky, we have fantastic holidays with our 5 year old, we've holidayed a lot and never had any issues. She does love being in the pool and kids club though so will happily do those all day, she also enjoys trips out too, though with a need for lots of snacks!!!!
I hope things pick up for OP as the kids settle into their new environment, do try kids club if you can, they might make friends that they can then play with at the pool Wine

pointythings · 28/05/2022 16:56

I remember all our holidays with kids as lovely - even the one where DD2 was 2.5 years old. It's all about managing your own expectations - if you have kids, they're still there with you. So you can farm them out to a kids club or you can focus on activities they will enjoy.

budgiegirl · 28/05/2022 16:58

We never go for a week as find it takes them 3 or 4 days to settle again when abroad. The first 3 days are usually spent fighting and arguing as they are over excited and tired

This. My 3 kids, when younger, were hell on earth for the first few days. Truly awful. I think some of it is because the whole thing is overwhelming, and partly because they couldn't get away from each other in the way they could at home.

However, once through the first few days, things improved greatly.

We went on different types of holidays - camping, self catering, all inclusive, city breaks, cruises, Disney - we've been very lucky to do all sorts. It is VERY different from being at home with them, or going on holiday as a couple. We did kid-centric activities most of the time, and had low expectations. But looking back, we have some very happy memories of our holidays together, and can now laugh about the bickering.

FingersofFish · 28/05/2022 16:59

Not yet rtft but we're on hols for first time in years (like most!) And I can't get over how much easier it is this time! kids are 7 and 9 and have spent entire day in pool, fetching own drinks and can almost entirely manage the food. We last went when 1 and 3 and had a similar experience so I refused to go again! It's really hard work but I think age is the answer. My plan tomorrow is to get up early and nab sunbeds right by the pool so I can supervise without having to stand at the side. It feels like the ultimate lazy parenting but needs must as we got to the hotel at 3am today and DH has had 2 naps so tomorrow I am determined to catch up.

Orcasmom · 28/05/2022 17:00

We live in a very rural area without much to do so luckily our children find most thing impressive. Lifts, escalators, keurig machines 😆 We bought one of them a lunchables once and it was big news! Not suggesting you relocate - we get all of the moaning about being bored 24/7 at home instead!

shiningstar2 · 28/05/2022 17:02

Kids club in the morning. Lunch. One parent back to the apartment about 3.00 for quiet rest time/book/colouring pencils out ext. Other parent has about an hour andhalf to two hours on own round pool. Maybe civilized drink. Take turns for this. Back in apartment you all then shower and dress for evening. Meal together then sit with a drink while kids disco/entertainment us on. Choose accommodation with sea view so you can both enjoy any down time later in evening with a nightcap on balcony. Doable but never as it was before kids or that magical time when you only had one tiny who dozed off in the pushchair anytime you fancied some down time. ,💐

RosesAndHellebores · 28/05/2022 17:03

AI resort holidays are my idea of seven circles of he'll with or without dc. The noise of a buffet breakfast, queueing for food, etc, fills me with horror.

Fifthtimelucky · 28/05/2022 17:03

I'm another one who used to love holidays with the children. I still do but they're in their twenties now so it's a bit different !

Holidays were when I actually got to spend some time with them, rather than rushing them off to childminder/school and then dashing off to work myself.

We often used to book somewhere with my sister. The children were always happy playing with their cousins and needed less adult intervention (after toddler-type age).

WatermelonSugarEye · 28/05/2022 17:04

I loved hidays with our DC when they were little. I think the secret is keeping them occupied, we would take them off on bike rides, build dens, go on nature trails, fishing, kayaking, surfing, horseriding, let them make videos, all that sort of stuff.
TBF if you are expecting them to lie on a sun lounger next to a pool in an AI complex then I think any child would fail to see the joy in that.

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