To think holidays with kids are SHIT

[Holibollocks]

Caveat: I know we are really really lucky to be able to afford to go on holiday.

But. WTAF??! Why is this so shit?!! Kids are 4 and 8 and this is the first 'big' holiday we've been on. Previously it's always been camping or self catering-didn't go away at all during covid and I'm a nurse so we felt like it was worth splashing out a bit for a half term break and we've gone for an all inclusive thing.

Anyway, we're 2 days in and to be honest it would be easier being at work. Every single tiny little thing they have whinged and moaned and complained and then when I thought they couldn't complain anymore they've somehow managed it. Constant fucking requests that go beyond anything I've experienced with them at home...followed by more whinging. So far it's shit. Expensive shit.

What am I doing wrong?? What is the secret to making this a great holiday?

Don’t use the word “holiday”; it’s a “change of scenery”.

I'm one of 5 and my mum said she just repeated "a change is as good as a rest" to herself over and over again when on holiday with us.

For holidays with children that age I insist on a few things…all inclusive so I can drink to ignore any moaning, at least two kids clubs a day and a husband willing to do the pool bit with the kids as I don’t do water

Try and find other kids for them to play with in the hotel / complex. I pretty much match make! And then when they hit it off everyone is happier. They are playing and you can relax

Wow can't believe what I'm reading. A family holiday is a family holiday, all together and no palming them off on strangers you don't know who are there under a banner if a kids club which is really a dump my children so I don't have to look after them club!!

Your so lucky to have children, they're at fantastic ages but all inclusives and resort holidays in general are the most boring things in the world so I'm not surprised the wee ones are bored. Branch out and do some exploring rather than sitting round a pool or on a beach which has got nothing going for it.

Your kids are still to young to make their own choices.
Tell them what they can have/ or will be doing.

Also you are trying too hard to please them.
Because they can't manage to make their own choices they won't be happy.

I remember going to to great lengths and coat booking a hotel with a all singing all dancing kids club.

First morning I heard the familiar sound of my daughter crying in the distance. The crying got louder and louder until I opened my eyes from my sunbathing. My daughter in tears being carried by the kids club rep.

Lasted about 10 mins. Lol.

I'll start again...

Some kids and holidays just don't mix.

Mine are a nightmare going anywhere, yesterday we waited 15 minutes in the doctors and I was ready to hand them to the staff. They do nothing but moan, play up and just generally be hard work. I want a holiday where I can relax and not have to shout and give time outs. They are 4 and 6 so maybe to be expected a little but I don't see them improving no matter how many times I give out a punishment.

I was an only child and don't remember our family holidays being difficult but I was a very quiet, good at amusing myself kind of child so I was quite happy to lie there with a book, go swimming or do some colouring whilst my parents sunbathed. I can imagine for them holidays were relaxing.

All I would suggest is like others have said, tag team, kids club and never do it again until they are older and can be left at home!

It could just be that they have never been away before??

I also never had any issues with my DC's but they both came with us abroad from babies, in the car, two day journeys, and just chilled out when we got there. Routine is important, even though you are on holiday. Up early, beach, back to the hotel, lunch, nap, back to the beach, back to the hotel, showers, evening drinks, dinner, walk into town, bed. Rinse and repeat. Never did any kids clubs (didn't exist), or special entertainments, or early meals etc etc.

Wow I can’t believe what I’m reading! Some of our best holidays involved 2 hours kids club then 22 hours being together with everyone relaxed and happy having had 2 hours of hanging out with similar aged people.

I agree, we can't wait to go away with ours. We went away for 6 days without them and I missed them and felt guilty. So we got back and booked a family holiday for August.
They don't really moan, however any annoying behaviour is shut down or distracted.

Holidays with kids are best when there is lots of stuff for them to do and its more about them than the adults unfortunately.
First holiday I actually enjoyed with the kids was an all singing/dancing eurocamp one where they actually had kids clubs where you could leave the kids for an hour or two. Meant me and dh could nip back to the caravan for a shag or some peace and quiet.
Then we would go get lunch and look around the area or go swimming. It was lovely.
Holidays where its not child oriented but have children with you, they tend to spoil it.

🙄 all those parents coming on now who make dens, and feel guilty having a break without their dcs

👌🏻 good for you

Well you did ask if YWBU - did you not expect anyone to disagree with you and describe their opposite experience?

I agree with that poster. My dc are now 14 and nearly 17 and we've never had a shit holiday. We don't do luxury holidays at all - almost always self-catering, often camping, mostly UK, sometimes Europe. Always had a great time, even when they were tiny. They loved it. Whinging and constantly demanding things? Nope.

That ^^
My mum has a look which silenced any whining from me. She would have gone ballistic if I was moaning all the time

I enjoyed our holidays - don’t remember a huge amount of whinging but I’m a big fan of warnings and following through. It’s important to give them plenty of exercise and don’t let them stay up late. They need plenty of sleep. But you have to put the effort in - we were always in the pool with ours, not lying on a sunbed. We picked kid friendly activities - water parks, city mini trains etc Made sure they could have a nap at the right time, often in the buggy.
Get them off to bed and then get the wine and snacks out.

Thank you to all of you that have made empathetic noises and made some good points!

I've brought the kids down to one of the smaller splash pools (which the older one was initially saying he didn't want to go to coz it's BORING) while DH has gone to the gym....the kids are actually having a great time and are probably the happiest they've been since we arrived. Am sat watching them waterboard each other and have ordered a drink.....will reset expectations and also maybe put back in to place the boundaries they have at home. Then more wine!

So you post this on AIBU and then shoot down anyone who says you might be, because they love/d holidays with their kids?
Maybe post on chat next time.

For the record we loved holidays with ours. No rose tinted glasses here, as a family we lived for holidays. We never did hotels or resorts though. Small caravan/campsites (no pools or anything) at home or in France, and the occasional exotic holiday in SEA on the way to visit our family in Australia. All great. But I do think camp sites are ideal. They got the sort of freedom there that they couldn't have at home, they made friends, and they didn't need us to entertain them.

We went away all inclusive last October with a 4/6 year olds

We had a great time, just sat by pool all day and took turns with my husband keeping a eye on kids as they played in the water

One watching while the other relaxing for a bit.

Glad it's improving. Enjoy the wine!

The best holiday we've had was one where my parents went too. The ratio then was 4 adults to 1 child so everyone got to have a break/holiday!

I do Al holidays they are not boring. Plenty of kids at the pool to play with OPS 8 year should be more than capable of striking up a friendship and even a 4 year old! Kids make friends easily.

There's plenty of excellent kids clubs that have a daily programme of activities to entertain the kids. Personally my child would hate walking around on some sort of tour in the heat. Although he's always been a water child so happily plays in the waterpark onside.

I'm not a fan of kids clubs and wouldn't use them as I couldn't relax thinking some stranger is left in charge of my kids and often there is swimming pools near by.

I'd be stressing the whole time incase a accident happened and my kids drowned..

I always find safety levels can be very different in other countries

No way I'd trust them watching a bunch of 5 year olds.

Don't let them dictate like that.If ds 8 asked to go into the pool like fuck would we be leaving after 10 minutes.

We have 4 so you can imagine how much they would whinge… the best thing we ever did was team up with close friends with 4 kids too of similar age. Spent many happy holidays with them- everyone too embarrassed to whinge in front of a friend!