Some children aren’t great company on a day out or holiday. For whatever reason, they haven’t got beyond being entirely self centred and moaning about nothing.
Some children are naturally more like this, or take longer to grow out of it. Others have parents who to be honest encourage that behaviour by either pandering to their every whim, or tolerating the behaviour which feeds it, or by organising stuff that just isn’t appropriate for the age group.
I found being on holiday with under 4s not much fun. The only way for it to be tolerable for us, was to be regimented around the kids’ routines which meant naps and eating at the usual regular times. Low expectations of ‘normal’ pre-child holiday stuff had to go. Locations needed to be chosen so it was easy to get to and stuff near the accommodation. Personally, we always went with another family, so at least after bed time there was nice adult time and it felt different to being at home.
You see families out and about - having a day out or on holiday. Lots of families have kids of similar ages but they are having very different days. Some are having a pleasant time and the children are enjoying the activity that’s happening. Perhaps they won’t be in 10 minutes time. Some children are managing the less fun stuff that’s going on fine, like shopping etc. Others a having a melt down even when an activity which you’d think would be a child’s dream is happening. Maybe they had a very late night, maybe they have SEN, maybe they are very easily set off, perhaps they don’t have good boundaries.
The thing is, kids are the same kids they are at home. Families who have unclear boundaries or ignore poor behaviour at home, can’t suddenly expect to go out for a meal or a day out on holiday and expect the kids to know the boundaries or behave well. Kids who are tired if they stay up beyond 8pm at home, will be the same if they’re in Spain. Learning to be part of a family and to understand everyone has to put up with doing some stuff that’s not their favourite is something all kids need to learn gradually.
The sad thing for parents is that a good holiday usually does need lots of cash thrown at it/ and or lots of organisation for it to work. The days of planning something last minute and winging it and it being fun are gone. It means you either splash the cash for a kid friendly location which has food and entertainment suitable for small kids of tap at the right moments, or you stay somewhere not like that and out time and effort in advance to ordering food, planning days out, scheduling so it works for small children and making sure everyone gets sleep. It’s not like a ore-child holiday and Hopi g it will be leads to disappointment.
From the age of about 5 things got better for us. Being able to eat lunch an hour later or stay up for an hour later in the evening without it wrecking the next day gave the flexibility you want on holiday. Being able to play and entertain themselves for an hour makes all the difference. Them knowing the behaviour that you expect day-to-day and mostly being able to deliver it makes a difference. Them understanding they will get to choose stuff and they have to let adults make some choices too helps.
Best holidays we had with small kids involved accommodation within walking distance if the beach (usually UK) and buckets and spaces and paddling and eating ice cream and sometimes having lunch rather than dinner out. Our best holidays always involved another family which made it all less intense. There were more adults to do some child-time, more kids to play with and each meal felt special and worth making an effort for. Only go with another family that has similar ideas about bedtimes, activities and what counts as fun to you though. Lots of people hate to be with another family, but we always loved it and still do. I think it’s good for kids to be with other people are have to fit in with a bigger group, but not everyone feels like that.
Definitley don’t go places where you can’t take your small child equipment or none is provided. Hotels with a single room that you have to sit in the dark in after bedtime don’t sound fun. But lots of people do seem to opt to go places where it will be hard work, without realising that when they book it.