To think holidays with kids are SHIT

[Holibollocks]

Caveat: I know we are really really lucky to be able to afford to go on holiday.

But. WTAF??! Why is this so shit?!! Kids are 4 and 8 and this is the first 'big' holiday we've been on. Previously it's always been camping or self catering-didn't go away at all during covid and I'm a nurse so we felt like it was worth splashing out a bit for a half term break and we've gone for an all inclusive thing.

Anyway, we're 2 days in and to be honest it would be easier being at work. Every single tiny little thing they have whinged and moaned and complained and then when I thought they couldn't complain anymore they've somehow managed it. Constant fucking requests that go beyond anything I've experienced with them at home...followed by more whinging. So far it's shit. Expensive shit.

What am I doing wrong?? What is the secret to making this a great holiday?

The pool. Feed them more than you think you need to - pools make them tired, hungry and thirsty, so plenty of drinks and filling snacks - bread rolls, cheese, fruit. Depending on age schedule an hour or two of down time after lunch for a nap, book, bit of TV or whatever. Kids can get very overstimulated on holiday so give the an hour to reset. They’ll likely also do late nights so may need the nap in the day. Another rest, shower and change before evening meal so they feel a bit cooler and fresher. Kids club. Wine.

We just don't bother with the big, expensive foreign holidays and instead go to stay in a static caravan or chalet type thing on the coast in the UK and keep it simple with trips to the park or the beach and a couple of longer days out to EH or NT places. We can send them to bed at a reasonable time in their own bedrooms and then sit in a separate living room or outside and dh and I then enjoy the evening together.

Ah yes, this sounds very familiar! We've had to break down almost every single part of the day into turn taking...who opens the door to the room, who does the lift buttons, who holds which parent's hand, who goes with which person to the buffet etc etc.
Big one chooses pancakes at breakfast, little one chooses waffles, then big one whinges coz actually he wanted waffles after all....or vice versa....the waffles and pancakes could be any food or any thing in fact.
Bloody on and on they go

I’ve never done a holiday without either kids club/ski school or big extended family in the mix. Otherwise I imagine it’s just the same old same old but hotter and without the usual stuff that entertains them like their toys and friends.

In our experience it takes a bit of time to settle in. For you but also for the kids. They don’t generally like new places and most kids would rather a staycation I think. Our DC are a bit younger and we found a bit of a routine helped, plus constant snacks, water (always seem to forget how much they eat and drink when away from home) and naps (dressed up as a ‘siesta’ if they feel they’re too old 😬).

I hate holidays, I'd rather be at home with all my stuff and the beach a short drive away. Possibly because mu parents travelled non stop when I was young.

Similar aged dc. Not booked a holiday this year and relieved because I know how much hard work it would be. A couple of day trips planned instead. My dc are still learning how to swim, I find it utterly stressful being near water (the kind of holiday I enjoy) and struggle to relax. I do think it's partly about expectations though. Sorry you are having such a difficult time op, you were probably looking forward to a break. And yes, the expense on top when you can't actually relax properly.

Usually I'm pretty logical so I'm also kind of gutted to have got all this so wrong.

Don't beat yourself up! Seriously, it's hard to know which holidays will work and which won't in advance. And sometimes, all it takes is everyone just relaxing into the holiday and getting the hang of a slower pace of life. But if I ask my kids which were their favourite holidays a week walking in the Lake District always comes out top. Who'd have guessed that eh? Fucking Disneyworld, which cost an arm and a leg, never gets mentioned 😂

Fuck knows. Probably overstimulated? I don't know, they ask to go to the pool.... then 10 mins in they're whinging and want to do something else, so we do the something else and they're the. Saying they want to go to back to the pool.
We went out today for an activity in a nearby town, something we'd planned beforehand and they were really looking forward to. As soon as we're there it starts....'when are we going back to the hotel? When are we having lunch?'
It's like the normal requests and checking of meals/snacks has just multiplied by 100

Can you give some examples of what they're moaning about?

I recommend child-centred mornings, making sure they have lots of fun and a good time, then after lunch is adult time -- either put them in kids club or the two of you take turns giving each other a nice long break.
In the evenings either put them to bed early or let them watch something while the two of you hang out and chill.

Afternoon naps are the answer! Well rested kids are better than grumpy ones. Have a coffee in the morning in your room and stick the kids in front of electronic stuff for a bit.
pick your battles and tag team with your oh. We are 6 days in on an all inclusive two wheeker with a long flight and they’ve been pretty good so far…

Also yes to the kids club although ours have only been once. Just resign yourself to the fact they will be want to be in the pool all day everyday and make the best of it!

Is there any chance of them making friends with another set of kids on holiday? I'd be inclined to "divide and conquer" to see if they can make friends with somebody a similar age.

Good luck!

Haha! Memo to self....bank the Disneyworld dream trip 😆
To be fair these 2 often speak about the time we had a night in the Premier Inn outside Warrington when our car broke down once....you'd have thought it was The Ritz the way they go on about it!

We've never taken the children abroad as its bad enough on UK holidays. I think every single holiday we've been on I've had a meltdown two days in vowing never to take them away anywhere ever again. It doesn't matter what we do it's whinge whinge fucking whinge. Nothing is ever good enough and I never really enjoy myself. Maybe when the children are older I will enjoy it more but I can only ever imagine truly enjoying myself on holiday when it's just me and my husband.

Sorry x-post re examples

They just sound a bit unsettled and anxious, which would be normal if they've never had this kind of holiday before?
I would say maybe don't be too ambitious, just find a set routine every day of eating, pool, games, etc. Tell them tonight what the plan is for tomorrow, tell them in the morning what the plan is, etc. They might just need another day or two to relax.

Aww you haven't got it wrong OP it's trial and error. They sound a bit unsettled, the excitement maybe? Before we moved to the country we are currently in we had a period of time off where we had to buy a lot of new stuff (things you can't get here.) And my son was a fucking nightmare. The excitement coupled with everything suddenly being different meant he was constantly asking for stuff, having strops - really not like him! It was like he suddenly had no context for what was realistic/acceptable. Wore off as soon as we got here, I think was disorientation, maybe a big holiday can have a similar effect? They may settle into it now.

My DS was a bit of a pain at our last holiday too, first time he's complained about being dragged round cute villages, going for walks, etc. I was a bit taken aback but probably shouldn't have been, he's six now. Luckily he still likes restaurants, museums and art galleries (as long as there's a gift shop) so we still had a good time, but the whinging was new...(on holiday, not saying he never whinges at home lol.) Will have to do things a bit differently next time I think. More kid-targeted stuff. I've never done all-inclusive but this talk about kids clubs is making me think I should try it next time.

It sucks when something you really look forward to doesn't measure up, sounds like you really deserve the break too.

Yeah I feel like ‘holidays’ with kids aren’t really holidays - it’s just everyday life in a nicer location than your house 😂

When we go abroad we always go in August usually last 2 weeks so they've had time off school to adjust to later bedtimes etc. We never go for a week as find it takes them 3 or 4 days to settle again when abroad. The first 3 days are usually spent fighting and arguing as they are over excited and tired. We did a week in May once and it was hell. They were tired and over excited and it wasn't the last bit relaxing

Haha you win with the Premier Inn in Warrington

Anyway, look it's Saturday night, you're on holiday and if that isn't an excuse for a nice glass of something I don't know what is. If worst comes to worst, I always find the pleasant buzz of being a bit pissed takes the edge off even the most irritating bout of whingeing.

Kids won't go?

Oh they'll go. They may go head first and at high velocity but they'll go...😂

Yes. Kids clubs. Never sent my DC to them
Because DP refused to go on that type of holiday but always remember going to one at Pontins in the 1970s when I was about 8 or 9. was absolutely fantastic. Only saw DM and Ddad at mealtimes. I had the time of my life. It was in Majorca and I made friends with the manager's daughter. She was British but spoke fluent Spanish and she acted as interpreter. I was so impressed and I'm sure it is what made me want me to Learn languages (I have a degree in a foreign language).

I only opened this thread to say: yup.

Could you make a plan for rest of week so they know what to expect? They might be unsettled by lack of schedule.

So do pool in morning, decide with them an activity for the afternoon, have stroll out in evening for ice cream. So similar routine each day?

You're probably expecting lots as you haven't been able to go away. Also kids aren't used to being away so probably unsettled.

@Holibollocks your post about the lift buttons and the hotel door reminded me of our trip to Abu Dhabi in February half term with a five year old and seven year old. They were the same whingeing and moaning fighting not appreciating the holiday and it was really expensive in the end I just tried to make the best of it.