Is anyone else slightly disappointed their DC didn’t turn out to be quite as amazing as I thought they were when they were little?

[meanmama]

DS was naturally very academically advanced at an early age. He basically taught himself to read, was years ahead of the rest of the class in maths, drew pictures like a 7 year old at age 3, wrote chapter books with punctuation in reception, learnt musical instruments with ease. You name it, he could do it. This was completely without any pushing from myself or DH - we have another DC who is much more academically ‘normal’ and have treated them both the same.
I couldn’t help but have extremely high hopes and dreams for DS who is now 16. But although he’s still very bright he’s also quite lazy so achieves above average but nothing like when he was little. I sometimes wonder if I should have been more pushy about made sure he pushed himself but I’m just not that type of parent.
I feel bad for feeling like this, I know IABU and obviously I do massively appreciate the fact that DS is doing pretty well academically, has lots of friends a good social life and is happy. But part of me can’t help but feel just a bit disappointed that he didn’t grow up to be the genius I thought he would.

My 24 year old was very much like your son OP- he then became academically lazy And couldn't be arsed with homework etc so did ok but decided not to do A levels- got a technical apprenticeship at 16, was house sharing by 18 and is now earning £32k ish in IT , and he is very good at it and with people too- and still very knowledgable and a quick brain - he just was rubbish when it came to academic study in a formal way. Don't be disappointed- that sharp brain will still be there, and he sounds lovely - just needs to find his niche to flourish - -!!

Pretty sure the majority of my family feel this way, hence why I've been passed around to live with different family members. Got told at aged 3 that I'd probably never talk. Went to private school, college, although never got gcses or qualifications. Now mid 20s living with grandparents, never been able to get a job and have absolutely nothing in life. I expect at one point they'd thought I would've been something amazing, yet here I am..

What happened to explain you not achieving your GCSE s etc ?

Not doomed, just that everything is harder and yes, many people don’t make it to where they otherwise would have been.

My DS was similar to yours from baby to his early primary years. Unfortunately, he had massive health issues, then our family broke up, followed by lockdowns. Although in secondary he's still at the top with maths and science, he's average or slightly above in all other areas and is incredibly lazy. I have no doubt he will eventually discover his vocation as he is still a bright spark. Being gifted is not all it's made out to be. One of DS's peers falls under that bracket and he's woefully lacking in common sense and social skills.

I don’t understand why this would be disappointing.

I was smart at primary school, but definitely not gifted. Good, but not great GCSE's and dropped out of college twice. Went to uni and did very well, then it all went to shit again when I had kids. My confidence probably held me back. Maybe it is just that with your son? We live in a world when confidence and extraversion seems to be more highly regarded than ability.

I think in life your abilities come in peaks and troughs and I don't think you can expect anything from anyone. As long as your kids are happy that's what matters and not everyone follows the same path. People study/change careers later in life and do well.

Have you had a discussion with your son about his options? He might just be feeling a bit lacking in direction. This was what I really needed when I was 16 as I didn't have a clue.