Permanent exclusion-how do I find a new school that will take an excluded child?

[Alwaystoblame]

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How do I go about finding my Dd a new school if she's been permanently excluded? How likely are good schools to take her on in year 10 with an appalling attendance and behaviour record? She's very bright and doing very well academically when are bothers to go to class and do the homework. Attendance in in the 60s for this year. Even when she dies go in she is late and/or truants classes.
I have 2 previous threads about the issues she's having but I wanted to ask specifically about new schools without getting detailed.

Thank you @Inertia that's the conclusion I have come to after reading the replies and my knowledge of how ex and Dd behave. It's always me that organises everything so it's difficult to take a back seat but I will. This mess has evolved under his watch with him pointing the finger stage left while exiting stage right. He likes to be seen as perfect. Never apologises, never admits he is wrong, he just points his finger at me and says it's my fault. Dd has learnt her behaviours and coping mechanisms from him. Ignore things, deny things, blame others, paint me as the devil, say I need help because I'm mentally ill yada yada. No more! Grey rock now via email only with him. Dd will soon be crying to me saying her dad doesn't understand her and she's got to go to a school she doesn't want to go to and can't I fix it. No, I can't. Fixing opportunities were months ago.

A school refuser could be argued to be unsuitable for mainstream.

Sounds very much like your DD would fit the 'not suitable for mainstream education' description. I think you're right to step away too. A decent PRU could actually be the making of her, but leave it in her dad's hands now.

Did she have traumatic early years that she's playing out as a teenager or something? Just wondered what's behind all this anger.

Her dad had an affair and left when she was 5 and immediately involved OW in the children's lives. In less than a year OW was pregnant and they had 2 dc together over the next 2 years. OW already had 4 dc. Dd found it very difficult.

That sounds hard, although if her early years were more settled then it's probably the sort of thing a lot of kids go through, so maybe it's just her dad's influence or something. Did you say she had seen camhs?

Could you ask for outreach teaching. She might calm down a bit without the pressure of school. Its not like she would be learning much while in that sort of state anyway

The trouble is that whatever school she gets into is likely to see a repetition of her behaviour eventually, even if she has a good start. I’ve seen it 3 times this year with 3 students who were given a place and kept their heads down for months then have been permanently excluded.

I hope your dd realises very quickly what side her bread’s buttered on and that she succeeds with a fresh start. Hugs, @Alwaystoblame I can’t imagine how tough this is for you.

Whenever my school has permanently excluded a child they have always been placed in PRU. I’m not sure if that’s the case everywhere, but it is at my school. In many cases it has been good for the child involved. You need to try a break the cycle of behaviour and a normal school will probably struggle to do that if it’s got to perm ex stage. A PRU is probably the best option.

It's so frustrating because she loves school. Genuinely loves learning and school. She's just been influenced by this toxic friend of hers (schools description) and since then everything has gone downhill at school. It used to be just me on the receiving end of her behaviour but it's spread to all areas now.

Can she start a college in September early? Our sixth form offers GCSEs and we sometimes have year 11s start with us early?

The school won’t want to permanently exclude your DD, will be a last resort, as it costs so much money! I would start getting her name on waiting lists for local schools and try and make an arrangement with her current one!

They don't want to permanently exclude her but her behaviour leaves them with no choice. She was very lucky to get a final warning after the extremely violent attack on another girl in her year. Now she's bullying those in younger years and threatening them with violence. Violence that they know she is capable of. She's making life at school impossible for one particular girl to the point the police are involved.

Then she really should be excluded, sorry.
Multiple children shouldn't have to put up with that nonsense just to keep her in a school she likes so much she only shows up 60% of the time.

A PRU might be really good for her, in terms of a tailored programme and good staff ratios. It could be her best chance of a handful of GCSEs.

I agree that she should be excluded. I just feel extremely sad for her. She wants to go to uni and could do so easily if she behaved. She's a very talented artist with a particular personal style and produces stunning artwork; very talented at English and a natural at History, science and maths. She already has a modern language GCSE at a good grade. This is what makes it so frustrating.

God, not to stick the boot in, op, but she's also on the way to becoming a violent thug.
This needs to be addressed before anything else. Literally before anything else.

I do think this is a good idea.

Her dad has allowed it to get to this point and needs to to face the consequences of his actions as much as your dd.

I'd say your job is to let dd know you love her, will support her and always have a home for her if she wants it.

She maybe, but unless her bullying and verbal and physical attacks on other pupils is brought under control, nothing will change.

No one should go to school worried they are going to be bullied.

Violent attack on another girl?! That poor girl. This isn't just abit of truanting she's an actual danger to others. Sounds likely to be sent to a PRU, my DH works in one. She's lucky it's not prison school (dh has worked in one of those too and they are seriously awful).

PRU is very different to mainstream. Shorter days, less kids per class. Obviously all the kids are very naughty! Less academic in terms of usually the kids are put in for the lower equivalent exams rather than GCSE (not sure what they are called sorry) but he does put the brighter ones in for gcse if thinks they'll get it. Although bright ones are rare by the sounds of things tbh (he gets very excited when he does get one)

Hopefully it will be a wake up call for her. As others have said tho I don't think there's much you can do, she needs to learn actions have consequences. You can't go around battering people and expect to just carry on your life

My friend used to work in the PRU nearest to me. She says it is like a prison where the doors are kept locked and break time is spent in a yard with 8ft high spiked fencing. The gates are opened for drop off and pick up but otherwise locked as are the doors. It's a small school. It used to be a small primary school and is surrounded by fields. The other PRU is in a deprived area, again in a previous primary school, and is very urban with no green spaces nearby. She's used to looking out at green fields, ancient woodland and wildlife and having fantastic facilities . The staff where she is are excellent. They genuinely care and are so approachable and nurturing. My own experience of several high schools involved no nurturing at all. My emotions are fluctuating on this and I feel quite angry now that she has thrown away such a fantastic place for the sake of a toxic friendship. Dd is as equally to blame as the awful girl she is partner in crime with and school agree that Dd has no hope of improving if she stays in the same school as her friend. She's such a fool. She's not really talking to me at the moment but I hope she will as I'd like to know how she's feeling and to tell her face to face that I'm always there for her. 15 is still so young and she has lost her way badly.

She's used to looking out at green fields, ancient woodland and wildlife and having fantastic facilities . The staff where she is are excellent. They genuinely care and are so approachable and nurturing
I'm sorry, but what's the relevance of this?
She barely shows up and when she does she makes other people's lives a misery.

The rolling hills are not working for her, and she's taking the piss out of the nurturing staff as well.

She needs to be away from the school for the children's safety and will being. You said yesterday that she messaged someone to kill themselves. It sounds like a PRU would be better for her with the small classes

It's relevant to how she'll feel about a new school. She's been brought up in a nice area and it will be a huge change for her. She doesn't cope with change at all. I'm just feeling very sad tonight for her. I love her and want her to be happy and healthy. I worry about how she will cope. I know she has very little in the way of choices now and it's up to her to make the best of wherever she goes. This is not what I wanted for my Dd at all. She was doing so well in years 7-9 and it's devastating to see her this lost. But the welfare of the other kids is important and she's gone too far now and they deserve to go to school without fear.

She's not coping now...