Permanent exclusion-how do I find a new school that will take an excluded child?

[Alwaystoblame]

Posting for traffic.
How do I go about finding my Dd a new school if she's been permanently excluded? How likely are good schools to take her on in year 10 with an appalling attendance and behaviour record? She's very bright and doing very well academically when are bothers to go to class and do the homework. Attendance in in the 60s for this year. Even when she dies go in she is late and/or truants classes.
I have 2 previous threads about the issues she's having but I wanted to ask specifically about new schools without getting detailed.

I started this thread - noting the start date - and hoped to find a happy ending. Whilst I know your DD has caused her own problems I still feel very sorry for you op. It’s never want we want for our children

If she's getting high and driving, call the police.

@LittleMousewithcloggson I can't believe it's been so long since I started the thread! In many ways things are still the same and it's a jump from one drama to the next.

It's as though I don't really exist in her life. Her plans never involve me and step mum has very much replaced me in her life. I'm just her biological mum she says. I try to make plans to see her but she's never free when I am. She's let her grandmother down 4 days in a row this last week.

Nobody from this side of the family will see her on her birthday except for her sister. She'll see all her new family and the family that was in between us and her new one. It hurts but there's little I can do. I've offered to meet her regularly in the nearest neutral place on our own to try and rebuild our relationship and she's all for it but then says she's busy.

Everything we do as a family I feel that empty space where she should be. It never feels right to do anything without her.

She’s now 18 and decided to celebrate her birthday but reporting me to social services saying I’d physically and emotionally abused her and she was worried about her siblings. What she’d done was take experiences from my childhood and claim they had happened to her with me as the perpetrator. social services were quite happy having spoken to me but are contacting school and the GP anyway. It was a social worker we’d had before who was dreadful.
All my side of the family made a big effort to choose and get presents to her on her actual birthday and she didn’t bother with them for a few days, didn’t acknowledge receiving them and didn’t say thank you to anyone so her siblings were pretty upset. I’ve recently discovered she has changed her last name to omit my family name which is hurtful.
She’s again been referred for autism and adhd assessments but she has been referred for a year now but the practitioner hasn’t done it right or something. The practitioner is useless at best. We are expected to believe that she has given up the drugs but to go from a severe addiction using several times a day to nothing at all seems unlikely. She’s waiting for driving lessons and that scares me.
She seems less chaotic in general but still so worrying in her behaviour. She’s an adult now though and there’s not a lot I can do about anything apart from keep good boundaries.

Blimey, that's a pretty malicious report for your DD to make @Alwaystoblame, I know I'd be gutted in your shoes. You have done so much to try and rebuild the relationship with your DD, I am honestly at a loss as to anything more to suggest. I wonder if you and your younger DC getting on with your lives without her is what has made your DD decide to do this now? Perhaps she feels her hold on you lessening and wanted to make sure you still "knew she was there"? Either way, her behaviour sounds unbearable and you are totally right to step away to protect yourself and your younger DC as much as you can.

Just thought I’d update to say despite Carcass’s projection that dd2 would turn out like dd1 and do terribly at school if left in my care, she has achieved mainly grades 7-9 in her GCSEs this year and has enrolled at an outstanding college to do her A levels. Both girls are naturally bright with high IQs according to the clinical psychologist who saw them but such different outcomes despite the same upbringing to age 14 for dd1.
Sadly, things arent much better for dd1 and she is homeless (staying with a friend) because her dad and his gf kicked her out a few weeks ago. She’s not interested in getting help for the weed use and remains very, very lost. I’m doing what I can to help her but she’s an adult and there’s not a lot I can do except love and support her and offer guidance. I regularly talk to her about getting help. She’s still not had her ASD and ADHD assessments and seems to have fallen through the cracks there. I keep hoping and praying she’ll see sense. We get on much better but we don’t see each other because I won’t see her if she’s stoned. I don’t want drug use around my other dc. So far she’s chosen cannabis over spending time with us, including a summer holiday, and has missed out on great family times. She knows she’s welcome to come with us but the weed is her priority.

Well done to your DD2.

Keep on doing what you are doing are far as DD1 is concerned. Your door is wide open to her and you are as supportive as you can be, but the ball is in her court. It's good that you are getting along better.

She is still young and I think it's quite possible she will decide that this isn't how she wants her life to be, and she may need your support at that point.

You have been an incredible mum, despite all the challenges others have thrown at you 💐

Well done to DD2!

Well done DD2.

Sadly and bluntly DD1 is an adult now, she has made her bed and has to lie in it. No one can change her expect herself. I’m not surprised things have ended up this way for her from your previous posts.

Well done DD2. And well done you.