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Original poster

Where were you at at 32?

176 replies

Dinglehopper12 · 26/05/2022 17:54

Hello,

I am married with 2 kids and an ok job (£4 per hour over NMW)

every one on mumsnet seems to earn millions!!

I feel so filled with envy when I hear of people from school that have done well, should I have achieved more with my life?

don’t want to feel like a failure as obviously that is just negative.

OP posts:
Arbeity · 26/05/2022 19:19

Recovering from ending a long, dead end relationship the year before, also met my wonderful now-DP and bought my first house. It was a big year!

SlightlyGeordieJohn · 26/05/2022 19:21

Dinglehopper12 · 26/05/2022 17:54

Hello,

I am married with 2 kids and an ok job (£4 per hour over NMW)

every one on mumsnet seems to earn millions!!

I feel so filled with envy when I hear of people from school that have done well, should I have achieved more with my life?

don’t want to feel like a failure as obviously that is just negative.

I was on a six month secondment to New York, working as an interest rate options trader. Only seven years into my career as I didn’t leave university until I was 25.

Married, but with no children.

PickAChew · 26/05/2022 19:22

In a job I was struggling with, getting all my ducks in a row to get out of that and an abusive marriage and on the verge of a bit of not so much a breakdown as a shutdown.

SlightlyGeordieJohn · 26/05/2022 19:23

This reply has been deleted

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Unnecessary.

Franca123 · 26/05/2022 19:25

If you feel like a failure, channel that emotion into improving you're career.

MagicTurtle · 26/05/2022 19:28

At 32 I was married with one child and a SAHM. I went back to work when my youngest started school. Feels like a long time ago now! (I'm late 40s.)

MadMadMadamMim · 26/05/2022 19:29

I was in a miserable marriage, not working and felt that my life was going nowhere.

A year later I was divorced, then I got an excellent job, my career progressed incredibly and I met my second husband who is fabulous. That was roughly 25 years ago and today life is brilliant.

You are still young.

MsJuniper · 26/05/2022 19:30

I was married, living in a leaking rented house, dealing with depression having failed at freelance work. Putting on weight at an alarming rate. No savings and tiny income. DH at low ebb with work too. Wondering how I would ever have children when I couldn't cope with myself.

15 years later DH and I both have new careers with stable jobs, moderate income, own house and two amazing children! Life isn't perfect but it's nice to think how far we have come. We are constantly surprised that things have turned out so well. Fingers crossed it continues. I guess we were late starters...

Frenchyfrog · 26/05/2022 19:33

At 32 I started seeing my now husband after a 10yr relationship with a man who started off lovely, but became very mean and controlling - was initially just looking for a bit of fun! We both had good careers, and were working (semi!) hard to progress. Had a great social life, lived in Zone 1 and was having the time of my life! Went on some lovely holidays, and probably spent far too much on the finer things! Now married with a baby, moved to a house out in zone 2/3, but no family around so no babysitting! No regrets as I had an amazing time early 30s, so definitely don’t feel like I’ve missed out, it was good to get it all out of my system. Have been blessed with a great sleeper of a baby, so we now have fancy meals in instead and find ourselves shocked when we realise how much we used to spend on drinks and food out! I’m really happy how things have worked out and wouldn’t change anything.

FiveShelties · 26/05/2022 19:37

This reply has been deleted

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Hope you feel better soon.😂

cptartapp · 26/05/2022 19:38

Married. One DC two years old and another on the way. Working pt. No real help.
Early 30's were hard going really.
I'm now 50, DC are older teens and one at uni, life is immeasurably easier.

blacksheep2014 · 26/05/2022 19:39

I was 32 two and a half years ago, I had a job and life I adored on cruise liners managing kids clubs. On the surface it was everything but I was lonely as hell.
Covid kicked me to wake up. I was forced to come hom in April 2020.

I met a wonderful man online in the july, spent a year fairytale dating him, 7 months slowly getting to know his daughters, lived independently, tried a few jobs and lost 2 stone.

I moved in with him and his 2 incredible children in February, found a solid, intriguing and better paying job nearby and am now 14 weeks pregnant with my first child. Thank you for this thread, unexpectedly really cheered me up tonight 😊

Pl242 · 26/05/2022 19:42

I got engaged to my now DH on my 32nd birthday. We’d been living together in my flat for about 6 months and bought our first flat together later that year. I was in a good professional role at the time but was feeling a bit jaded. Had toyed with the idea of going off travelling before meeting my now DH. Got a big promotion just after. Actually hated the job in many ways but it did open some doors for me and still does.

9 years later, married, two lovely children, a job move, a career break and now working for myself for the first time. Life has its challenges but is good. We are fortunate.

I did climb the ladder and build my earnings in my 20s and early 30s. Which enabled me to take a break and now in my 40s I’m trying new things which is great.

32 is still young. If you want change, you have to change you and where you’re going. Know lots of people who have done this at this age. It’s not easy, but definitely can be done. Good luck.

cadburyegg · 26/05/2022 19:45

I was married with a 4 and 1 year old and had just come back from maternity leave. I'd got promoted whilst on leave. I remember being horribly sleep deprived and just muddling through that year work wise as DS2 was a terrible sleeper. I did have job satisfaction though! That was 3 years ago

Moolight · 26/05/2022 19:45

At 32 i had no kids and was going through a divorce. I'm now 35 and have my baby but I often feel envious of people who had children younger.
Someone else who wants children but can't or doesn't have them may be envious of me though and the fact I now have one. It does no good to look at others and compare yourself. We've all been dealt different hands.

MajorCarolDanvers · 26/05/2022 19:48

At 32 I was in middle management (about £30K) with career progressing well. We owned a nice house (our 3rd) and were married and TTC.

I'm 47 now, am fairly senior in my career (about £100K), own a nicer house (our 5th), still married with two children.

linerforlife · 26/05/2022 19:48

I got engaged when I was 32, after thinking it would never ever happen for me. I also landed my dream job, and fell pregnant with my first child. It was a great year Grin Three years later, I've been promoted and am expecting my second!

Howappropriate · 26/05/2022 20:04

At 32 I was renting a lovely flat, progressing in career I loved, partying and living my best life, living near friends, living with my partner.
10 years later, i have a gorgeous son and the same wonderful partner but have spend last 8 years in terrible health - often housebound, unable to do a lot of what I would like to do with my son. I'm often in pain and have gone through a lot of despair. I've also felt great joy and gratitude too.
Gently OP, if you have your health, everything else can be worked on. Be grateful, count your blessings, make choices that make your life easier and not harder. You are only competing against yourself, and the older I get I see even people who look like they have perfect lives have their troubles too.

NotQuiteUsual · 26/05/2022 20:06

I'm 32, married, 3 kids, own a home outright (inheritance and in one of the cheapest postcodes in the UK so not as exciting as it sounds), work part time for bad wages in a job I love. Husband earns pretty poorly, but works full time from home with loads of flexibility.

So very little career success. But my potatoes this year are to be envied. Plus my general life satisfaction is pretty high.

jenny91x · 26/05/2022 20:08

I am 31, have a 2 year old DS, married with detached 3 bed house. I earn 30k/year (4/5 part-time) and we are fairly well off. DH earns double me.
I know what you mean about envying others, I think it's natural to compare yourself to others and for some reason the human mind works in a way that goes against us! What's funny is the people is massive houses and on high incomes are probably no happier because of what they have, because you get used to what you have very quickly!

FrankLampardsBrokenHand · 26/05/2022 20:13

At 32 I'd been married 9 years, was well established in my career and earning well. We'd owned our home for 12 years and I'd just moved into a new job, which ended up being a nightmare working for the world's most insecure narcissistic control freak.

But we'd accepted our infertility and had a great year. We spent a couple of weeks skiing in Canada, a few weeks travelling around the deep south USA and a week chilling in the Caribbean, then we got the world best dog! And my husband started revolutionary new treatment for his health condition.

Original poster
Dinglehopper12 · 26/05/2022 20:13

Wow! Didn’t expect so many responses! Think I am just having a bad day, I feel very lucky for what I have…if I want things to change in my working life I have to work for it, it won’t just come to me so need to stop moaning about it. (Hope my punctuation is ok) 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
Dinglehopper12 · 26/05/2022 20:15

I don’t feel I have the drive to put the effort in yet, I feel happier when I am at home and count the seconds until I see them again. Maybe that will change when they are both at school full time.

OP posts:
glamourousindierockandroll · 26/05/2022 20:17

I'm 35 now.

At 32 I was just about to get pregnant with my second child, my eldest was 2. Was moving from a job that I had been in too long and had reached the limits of (not very much) progression in that strand. Was a homeowner and anxious because DH had taken a big pay cut to have a career change and we were just scraping by. As a couple we've always been in a bit of a rush to 'lay foundations' and move pawns into the right place which is hard at times.

Fast forward to now, DH and I both climbing pay scales and i'm shortly going back to 5 days from 4 days currently. Have accepted a new job which is a promotion as well so will be a good pay rise for us as well as an infinitely better commute. I'm hoping the next few years will see us begin to take it a little slower and enjoy the results of our hard work!

33goingon64 · 26/05/2022 20:19

At 32 (12 years ago) I had been married a year and pg with DS1. I was earning £35k in a not for profit job. Luckily DH earns more so we could afford a nice terrace house commutable distance to London. But career wise I haven't ever been ambitious and only earn about that pro rata now. If I lived alone still I'd probably be in a house share or with a lodger to pay the mortgage. I'd be watching every penny.