Part 5 AIBU to want 15 minutes fame? (depp v heard)

[ENoeuf]

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4554620-part-4-aibu-to-keep-this-discussion-on-amber-and-jonny-going

continuing our unhealthy obsession 😂

Thank you midlife

Thank you @Midlifemusings
That explains it! I couldn't work it out.

Is that why Metadata Grandad said that in his experience, people keep thier old phones for years if they have evidence on them? Sort of implying AH has something to hide? If she has evidence on her old phone, why did she throw them away?

I think we need @Midlifemusings on the jury to help explain 😂
And I am not thick, I speak a few languages have a degree and everything! But I need help.

It seemed to me that is what he was saying - that most people don't get rid of old phones and they especially don't get rid of them when they have pictures and texts and videos on them that they have taken as 'evidence' of harm being done to them.

Ah, I see, will jury see?

Can someone also explain, the judge directs the questions the jury must ask themselves? Will we get a bias from that, as in whose side she thinks is telling the truth?

(I think she is JD)

The instructions to the jury come from Depp and Heard's lawyers as joint instructions. They had to work together and agree! They have been sneding them back and forth all week and yesterday when the witness ended early - the judge told them they weren't allowed out of her court room until she had them in hand!

I don't know if you noticed, but the judge has said to the lawyers to "put in your directions for the Jury Instructions"

What this means is each side get to put in thier requests (so to speak) what they would like to be included in the Jury Instructions. At the moment this is just a draft..

The Jury Instruction is what the judge will tell the jury what they need to consider.

No, absolutely not. The judge will not show any bias. This judge has been very fair. Occasionally she has pulled faces or made comments, but I think she will absolutely be unbiased.

Right, thanks both. I did not mean for a second she was biased, she has been incredible. More could she sway the questions that should be considered by the jury IYSWIM.

Ok then, I saw she was firm last night about them staying in the courtroom!

If I had a judge I[d want her.

Thanks again minou and bouls

midlife, even!

I've read this several times to make sure I didn't misunderstand. I'm still not sure I do. Are you saying that JD can't complain about the abuse he's had as a result of AH's claims of alleged DV because he has sued her and The Sun for defamation?

err why can JD not talk about the abuse he has suffered when it is all AH bangs on about mummyrocks?

Oh I see 😁

Yeah, the jury instructions come from both lawyers, and everyone agrees, so no opportunity for the judge to include her own slant, so to speak.

It’s his lawsuit? Surely he can talk about how it’s all affected him.. that’s the point of it

Didn't JD say that one of the main reasons he was publicly challenging these accusations was because his children have been receiving abuse. I think he is more than entitled to express how AHs allegations have affected him and his family. I would say that it was actually AH who started this, by making public accusations and backing JD into a corner where the only way he can could challenge those accusations was to do it publicly.

I'm not condoning AH having abuse by the way, regardless of what she has done, I am uncomfortable with the amount of hate she is getting. However, JD has had abuse and allegations levelled at him for the last 6 years, whereas AH is only really having abuse now that JDs side of the story has emerged. I am hoping that all this abuse directed at AH dies down after the trial though, as I think being that hated and ridiculed to this extent could end in tragedy, and from what I have seen of this trial, I think she needs help more than anything.

"his level of abuse has no comparison to AHs."

There's no comparison because there is no abuse of AH. I'm listening to the recordings and can so far conclude that she is full of shit. Hoist by her own petard in them. Thing is, I think she's so ill that she genuinely believes her own lies.

Totally agree!

However, she needs serious help as I also think she absolutely believes it. I worry for her child and her sister too.

Her career is undoubtedly over but I do hope she will be helped and not vilified, for the sake of those around her. It's obvious there is something terribly wrong to do what she's done.

She totally believes her own lies.

It is shocking when you see someone do this.

Actually, scrub that, I think I may have misunderstood - I thought it was referring to her alleged abuse at JD's hands, not online abuse. Mea culpa.

I don't know if this is tin foil hat territory, but I'm beginning to wonder if there's isn't someone or some people behind the scenes, masterminding her claims, and she's in under her head and can't get out of it even if she wanted to. I mean, the recordings blow her claims out of the water so absolutely that you'd surely have to be insane to keep the delusion up. That's what makes no sense to me.

Amber and Johnny have both had some much therapy but neither of them have really beaten the demons of their childhood trauma.

I really feel for Whitney. Trying to be the peacemaker and internalizing your pain takes a real toll and she has felt the wrath of Amber many times. She finds a bit of a kindred spirit in Johnny. Someone who gets her pain and understands what she still deals with and who also numbs their feelings with drugs / alcohol, then Amber ruins that too. Jennifer Howell had it right that at some point Whitney needs to leave Amber to her own devices and live life for herself but she still seems far too enmeshed in being the rescuer and being needed by Amber in some way and needing Amber in some way to move on.

I think Amber does have some signs of PTS (and BPD) She grew up with two parents who were both addicts and a father who got violent when intoxicated. I think that is why she freaks out so much when she thinks Johnny might drink again or use again and that is why she associates it with violence - even if the violence isn't happening now. She is projecting her childhood onto him and feels justified in getting physical and mean - probably things she saw or even did in her household as survival and defensive behaviours and she has normalized them. It is just out of context with Johnny but he has enough similar characteristics (substance use) and behaviours (anger) that she struggles to separate them. Her fear of abandonment is massive and her 'need' as she describes it to fight - shows she doesn't really have other ways to problem solve or resolve conflicts. She resorts to how conflict was handled as a child and still uses the same behaviours.

You would just think that with over a decade of therapy and counselling - they would have made more progress than they seem to have made. I think Johnny probably had done a lot of work but the dynamic with Amber put him right back into being a child being abused by his mother and he unravelled a bit.

They could both use a complete break from the public eye and a year of simple living with anonymity somewhere (not the same place!) to get regrounded and move past this, whatever the outcome.

That is my pontificating for the hour, now to go do some work before the trail starts again!

"she's in under her head "

I meant her head under water, obviously. I'll use my painful shoulder as a poor excuse for my inability to express myself clearly.

People often feel that they can't get away because of divided loyalties, though. The person I mentioned earlier in this thread might possibly be still alive today if they had got the fuck away from their abusive family as soon as they possibly could. But being the eldest, I think they felt responsibility to their younger siblings, and therefore felt that they couldn't "abandon" them iyswim.

Sorry I mean the abuse of SM and within the public pool. JD was talking about the abuse towards him from the media and his reputation. AH has had this 100% worse.

Yeah, sorry, I realised this after the fact and corrected myself.

He can but I personally think he is behind the smear campaign against AH with his attorney and the whole "I am going to humiliate her and bring her down" type texts. I don't think his life has been ruined nearly as much as AHs. He hasn't had nearly the same level of abuse by the media, the public and SM as she has.