Teacher ripped pages out of dd’s book and then was overheard talking about her

[StripytopandJordans]

Dd (10) has been in tears since she came home today. They were doing a written piece of work and the teacher was wound up by a misbehaving child. Dd had crossed out a couple of words in her writing (neatly, using a ruler she said) but the teacher was angry that there was a crossing out in her work and ripped the page out in front of the whole class, threw it away and told her to do it again.

Shortly after dd had to get changed for PE and from the changing room overheard the teacher saying to the TA that dd had come up with ‘rubbish ideas’ in her work. Dd was crushed!

Im thinking of emailing the head to complain.

This happened at school a fair bit back when I was there but it wasn't some massive dramatic shaming thing... If you'd made a tonne of mistakes they ripped the page cleanly out using a ruler to hold it down so it ripped straight, so you could start over and have another go, just like getting a clean sheet of paper. Wasn't a big deal.

Really?

Awful people suggesting your daughter is exaggerating. Even if the work wasn’t what was required what good is ripping it out of the book. What message do you send to the child? I do hope your daughter is ok, reassure her. That teacher is a massive dick!

And then to talk negatively about her? I know teachers do it but have some decorum. That teacher is a twat!

When I was 15, my English teacher was throwing away old pieces of work from her cupboard during our class as we finished our exams. She picked up the masquerade masks from my classes box and said gosh some people really put a lot of effort in, then she held mine up and said "and some are just shit", she laughed and the class laughed. This stuff does really happen. I'm 33 now and I will never forget that, I hope you're reading this Knibbs.

Back to basics.wear clean underwear, look both ways before crossing the road , and don't believe everything you are told!

I think you need to ask the teacher.It's hard to imagine a teacher having a sad enough life to discuss disappointment over a 10 year old work with a ta.
Your daughter's upset and you need to investigate what happened but I'd take a calm approach.

I'm surprised that nobody believes a teacher would do this... I had some horrible teachers as a child!

A teacher did exactly the same when I was 7, please email, I wish my mum had. I still remember it 44 years on!

My daughter's teacher ripped pages out of her book in front of everyone a few weeks ago. Her classmate told me and when I asked DD about it she broke down in tears

I think there’s a balance here. I don’t think every time a child says something like this it’s total bullshit, I certainly had some crappy things said to me by teachers when I was at school. However, there’s also a decent chance that this isn’t the absolute gospel truth. That is why you need to approach the teacher for a chat. Establish what happened. Ask about what happened, ask it in multiple ways, ask to see the book and spot if it’s ripped, even ask your daughters friends possibly. Hear both sides.

Ive had parents scream at me multiple times.
I told their child they couldn’t have a drink all day. They never had any water. No, actually what I said to the child was they could get a drink after my teaching input, because that child always finds reasons to get up during lesson input and ends up missing it.
I have been accused of saying a child can’t sing and isn’t pretty enough to be Mary in the nativity. Yelled at and sworn at one December morning, actually, I wanted that child to be Mary and sing a solo. She said she didn’t want to I said she had such a sweet pretty voice and it would be a shame if she couldn’t sing, Child said no. Another teacher attempted to persuade her. Child refused. Part therefore given to another child. First child realised and went home with that story.
I have ripped out a page before because child in question scribbled carelessly all over their writing and carried on destroying it without thought, I made them start again and kept the evidence.
Ive been told, by a 5 year old, that if I didn’t let him have a certain toy in free time he would tell mummy that I smacked him round the face. That mum would believe him because she frequently accused other children of this when in fact her son was the one who pushed and hit others on a regular basis.
I know that some children hate being told off and it hardly ever happens but when it does they can’t handle it.
On the flip side:
I was once told by a teacher at primary school that she wasn’t going to help me and my table with our projects because they wouldn’t amount to anything and she couldn’t be bothered to waste her time on us. That scarred me and took me a few years to have passion for school again.
i have been approached by children who have said they are scared of staff and I have investigated and passed it on and it has resulted in observations and sanctions / disciplinary for staff involved. Staff in question were too aggressive, their voices boomed and they were explosive. Main instigator has now gone thank god. Other staff member sadly was learning from this example and has thankfully adjusted. Not actually teachers though.

So OP there is a balance, it’s not necessarily black and white.
Your daughter could be telling the truth, stretching the truth, slightly exaggerating, leaving out details, half telling the truth, lying a bit or lying completely. Request a meeting, find out for yourself calmly and express your concerns. Then if you’re not satisfied, go higher.

To the people laughing and saying this never happened, I had horrible things said to me through out my school life. We need to encourage young girls to speak up when they’re being mistreated! Not laugh and say it didn’t happen. Definitely have a chat to the head, please advocate for your daughter. These things can and did for me stay with children for life.

Teachers do remove pages from books. In my primary school, as I suspect happens in all schools, exercise books are routinely collected by the head and senior staff for 'monitoring' and teachers are criticised if work is untidy, not presented in the prescribed way, not of a high enough standard, etc. There is a lot of pressure and getting children to do work again if it is not how it should be, is the only way teachers can keep criticism at bay. Education is not a nice career at the moment

Happened to my dyspraxic DD when she was 6. I came to find the teacher was a vile individual and I called her out on it very loudly during parents evening. Most teachers are lovely, patient and caring but some are dicks who take their personal problems out on our little darlings (lighthearted) so yes I would enquire about it. Kids need to know that adults can't act like that towards them.

Whether it was exaggerated or not.

I'd question it, if I thought that had been done to my son I'd ask the question, they'll never own up to it, however I'd do it for 2 reasons:

1. If my son had exaggerated and made a big deal out of nothing, he'd know I wasn't bluffing when I said I'm going to find out what's happened and know whatever that I believed him and wanted to help (even if he was a bit dramatic)

1. If the teacher did in-fact behave like this I'd want them to know I won't stand for it and will bring it up each time something happened whether they admit to it or not. Might make them think twice before they behave like an arsehole.

Everyone's different, so what you think is best.

Op, I would send an email to school explaining your dd was upset and asking for clarification. Teachers are supposed to boost children's confidence not destroy it.

As an aside and not directed at you op, some of the language about the teaching profession on this thread is horrific. Most teachers work incredibly hard to support the children in their care. I've worked 14 hours today and still going strong.

Why are people acting like teacher don’t do nothing wrong? Teachers lie, some are horrible, some are rude. They are human.. unless you know for sure and you are a teacher at ops dd school then how about you don’t comment that it didn’t happen. I’m lucky for the most part dc have both had amazing teachers. DS had a teacher that seemed to have have split personality. One day was the sweetest and the next a complete bitch. It happens, not all teachers are like miss honey from Matilda. I had a horrible teacher in year 4... then an amazing teacher in year 5. Then a sexist pig for the first part of year 6.. who didn’t connect with any of the females in our class and said girls can’t play football... jokes on him as several of us ended up at high class football acadamys.
op you should complain constructively because no doubt the school will go straight in with the defensive. Mention that the teacher was heard. ( as if by other students) not by who...because they will use it against you. See what they have to say if they think several people heard.

I would just be careful about this. If a child makes a mess, a page might be removed. Not in a horrible way, but to enable them to start again. I had a child who tried to draw their newspaper report boxes in biro. The boxes were tiny and in the wrong places. It would not have been possible to write in them properly. Yes, I could have left this page in their book but schools often have very strict rules about best work. Instead I told them to use a pencil and ruler the next time and removed the page neatly so they could have another go. It sounds quite different like this doesn't it?

Talk to the teacher. See what she says and what her version of the events is ,and if not satisfied then you can talk to the head.

I work in a school. Various versions of this that I've seen through the years:

1.child insisting their work went in the bin. It didn't,and we could show mum when she asked , also show her why he was given a new piece of paper to try again.

2.child or classmate rips some of the page off. Adult rips it fully to photocopy it and stick that in the book instead.

3.child is distressed about the mistakes and with their agreement, adult rips page off so they can start with a "clean slate".

1. Child says their work got ripped, it wasn't at all.

1. Pissed off teacher throwing a tantrum, rips a page off for not being "good enough". That's shit and unprofessional.

Removing a page (rather than all this dramatic ripping), is done on occasion. Sometimes it’s better to start a new page.

What makes it extra upsetting for dd is that she is in a class of super clever kids- lots of kids of surgeons, high flying people etc. She is one of the few who are on a ‘regular’ sort of level with their learning. She already feels like a dunce in the class by comparison. Having a page ripped out her book and then overhearing the teacher talk about her was the last thing she needed.

I remember a teacher, who I mostly quite liked, doing this to one of the boys in my class. The boy in question had also misspelled his own name on the front of said workbook (he was later diagnosed as having a learning disorder) and the teacher made a big show of holding the book up in front of the class and leading us all in a group ridiculing the boy.

I don’t find the story in the OP hard to believe.

I can believe this happened. DD's art teacher (who is stil employed at the local school) once broke a student's pencil and told them their work was crap.

go and make an official complaint. Does DD still have the book she was writing from? You might be able to see the original print of the torn page. Have a look at it and take it with you.

Kids don't change for PE in schools anymore. They arrive in their PE kit 🤷‍♀️

It's really unfair to suggest your DD has made this up!! What an awful thing for people to say! There are some really terrible teachers out there who absolutely do lose their temper. I've worked with a few!!

Try asking another parent if their child has mentioned it, OP. They very often do at home if anything a bit random has happened. If not, maybe get a trusted parent to ask their child about it. The Head will take it more seriously if other children have spoken to parents about the matter.

If your DD is worried about school tomorrow then you need to speak to the Head anyway as you obviously can't speak to the teacher and tell them they are the problem.

What an awful thing to do to a child.

Sounds like the 'talking about' incident was probably the teacher trying to justify her actions to the TA because she knows she's overstepped the mark.