Teacher ripped pages out of dd’s book and then was overheard talking about her

[StripytopandJordans]

Dd (10) has been in tears since she came home today. They were doing a written piece of work and the teacher was wound up by a misbehaving child. Dd had crossed out a couple of words in her writing (neatly, using a ruler she said) but the teacher was angry that there was a crossing out in her work and ripped the page out in front of the whole class, threw it away and told her to do it again.

Shortly after dd had to get changed for PE and from the changing room overheard the teacher saying to the TA that dd had come up with ‘rubbish ideas’ in her work. Dd was crushed!

Im thinking of emailing the head to complain.

I doubt this happened in the exact way you’ve said.

Yes if children completely mess up they can have the page ripped out but I doubt that crossing out work with a ruler would be ripped out as mistakes (especially ones that have been corrected) are things that show progress. Unless it was a book where they weren’t allowed to make any mistakes but that’s very rare.

I’d be also very surprised if an adult said a 10 year olds ideas were rubbish.

Absolutely speak to the teacher about this but be aware that your DD may have got the wrong end of the stick.

So sad that so many parents wouldn’t believe their dc! And the one post saying it’s ok behaviour from the teacher because ofsted.. shocking 😞
I had hoped in this day and age things were better than my childhood, but apparently not. OP, I would speak to the teacher first, but then don’t hesitate to escalate to the head if you’re not satisfied. So sorry for your dd, but at least she has you in her corner.

Some nasty nasty replies. I’ve worked with teachers who were vile to certain children then particularly nice to their parents..Almost sadistic behaviour.
Believe your child but go to the teacher first.

It’s easy to see her book and if a page has been ripped out!
please listen to your child, it will help shape them in the future so much.

Yes I would go to the Head, or the class teacher if that's how your school works (at ours we have to go to the Head for anything).
To those who think it isn't what happened, I spent months thinking my 8 year old DC was exaggerating how their teacher was treating them. It turned out to be true - the teacher was a bully. I will spend the rest of my life regretting my decision to disbelieve my DC. I should support and protect them but I failed.

Whether or not DD has the full story exactly right, if this sort of thing has happened before, then speaking to the teacher about it is a good idea. If it's a one off, then helping your DD get over it is a better plan of action.

Iv’e been a teacher for 30 years - believe me, there are teachers out there who do this!
OP, I’d certainly speak to the teacher in person in the first instance.

why do so many people think this isn’t believable. I agree, I’d be going to the head and giving your dd the support she needs.

A child I am nanny for had a teacher like this. Parents moaned about his bullying and how their sons said what he was like. I noticed a real change in my child’s anxiety levels and enjoyment and confidence at school. Since leaving that school (and the teacher) he is a confident happy and successful child in class. Also 10.

trust your dd

This

I would definitely have a word with the teacher. My child had a teacher like that he ruined her last year at primary with his mean bullying ways. It wasn’t my child who told me about the teacher if was a parent volunteer who spoke to me then I spoke to my child and it all came out. Not all children lie about school.

I once had a child tell his parents something similar about me. During a writing lesson, after discussion with a few children, I tore their page out as they were starting again. I did so for them to easily copy over the parts they were keeping and add in our discussed corrections.
The child who told the parents I had done this to him made it out like I had done so in a temper because his work was rubbish. This child wasn’t even one of those who had a single page ripped out!! His original piece was fine. No idea what possessed him to do so and he had to tell his parents the truth and apologise.

Im not suggesting your daughter is making it all up but perhaps some may be slightly exaggerated.

On the occasion my boys have said something like this, I say to them, I am going to have a word with X teacher because it's not ok for this to happen, do you want to remember exactly what happened in case anything got muddled, before I speak to them? Every time I've asked this, I've had the truth, either a relaxed confirmation that they were telling the truth, or a correction alluding to the fact that they had elaborated some details! And they always feel supported. It's a non confrontational approach that really works for us!

You know your child best. A teacher tore my work up in front of the whole class, some 30 years ago. She said i had copied someone. I hadnt. I still feel a sadness, even now.

Absolutely this.

You know your child.

Poor children whose parents automatically think so poorly of them.

She's hardly been distraught for no reason.

Absolutely call and enquire as to exactly what occurred that your child would be sent home distraught to you.

OP please listen to your daughter. Certainly speak to the teacher before the head to clarify, but we really need to lose this rhetoric that teachers never, ever get things wrong. They do. Some of them are bitter, twisted old cunts staying just for a pension, who hate their job, hate their colleagues and hate the children.

Perhaps this teacher isn't one of them and your DD is incorrect, but MN are too quick to rubbish what children say about teachers.

I work in education, before anybody jumps on me for 'bashing.' Some of the things I have seen/heard have been outrageous.

This DID actually happen to my child in year 4. When I spoke to the teacher, he admitted it and did not see anything wrong with it. I complained she got an apology in front of the class. The teacher left about 3 months later for other reasons.

I’m not convinced this is important enough to go to the Head with. Also, if there’s one way to get a teacher’s back up it’s to go straight to the top with a complaint. I’d start with the teacher and get an adult’s perspective on what happened.

She might not have made it up or deliberately exaggerated but I have seen children tell what happened from their point of view and it is not what actually happened especially when they are upset.

I would have a chat with teacher to get some context and also so teacher can reassure your child. I would be open minded about there being another version of the truth.

I would double check with your child and then talk to the teacher.

Having worked at a school, I know sadly there are a small minority of teachers who do behave inappropriately (as with an profession). I also know there are time where children exaggerate a situation or their perspective of a situation is different to others.

the tearing out pages thing I think could easily be taken very personally. I think it’s sad that it’s common practice. I can’t imagine many adult would like to watch their work torn out or thrown away, even if it was with good intentions. I can see how any child, even in a fairly benign situation, might be upset with their work being torn out a book.

I've been a teacher for 15 years. I have seen more pages ripped out of books in the last three years than ever before. It may not have been as dramatic as your daughter has retold it, but I'm sure the ripping did happen. Workbooks must appear to be perfect and heaven forbid a child makes a mistake. Education is going to the dogs.

That's a horrible message to send to children. My DD gets really down on herself if what she did isn't up to her own standards, this would make her anxiety so much worse. It's very much work hard and do your best, practice makes you better, not perfect. As an adult I regularly use an eraser or white out or the delete button on the keyboard to fix up my work.

OP I think you need to pursue this further but I think going straight to the head is too big an escalation. Talk to the teacher first. If they say they didn't rip out a page I'd want to see DCs work book.

Teachers can be nasty. You know your daughter, please listen to her and support her. Dont listen to women on here putting teachers on a pedestal. Some teachers in my sons secondary school were proper nasty. I still despise them. ID talk to the teacher and take it further. Your daughter needs you.

Who knows what the teacher did regarding ripping pages out of book.

But is the teacher really going to be thinking about it in any detail even 5 minutes later?

@LunaAndHerMoonDragons

I completely agree. Its awful, but in my experience driven by senior leadership. The pressure to make the school appear outstanding trickles down to classroom teachers who are terrified of anything in their classroom being deemed as sub par.

I have a relative who worked in a school where it was normal for the teachers to be told to rip out work with lines through and make the children do it again. Not usually in front of them (and usually to make sure everything looked perfect for governors, Ofsted, etc.) but if that was what was the norm, set by the head at that point I wouldn't be surprised if it happens in front of children. In that kind of setting, a teacher would know the head would support pages being ripped out.