To be conflicted over DH's hair

[JanesLittleGirl]

DH has always been a bit shit at getting his hair cut and will happily go 6 months between cuts. This has never bothered me but lockdown saw him go over 2 years without a cut so he ended up with shoulder-length hair tied up in a scruffy man-bun.

Finally I'd had enough of it so I made him an appointment with my hairdresser, Jo. I told her that he wanted to keep some of the length but I wanted it too short to tie in a bun. Apart from that she could use her imagination.

She gave him a Bob! A full on, stacked A-line bob with a high crown, side-swept fringe and points that curled under his chin. It would look really cute on a woman but on a man? Anyway, he likes it, Jo explained that she followed the brief (a bit of a stretch IMO) and DD styles it for him to keep it at max bouncy cuteness.

He even went back to Jo last week to get it cut again as she had told him that it needs to be cut every 6 weeks to keep its shape.

So I'm conflicted. On one hand, it's his hair, he, DD and friends who have commented seem to like it and I have to accept that it's neat and tidy and does sort of suit him. On the other hand, it's a bloody bob!

[Painiscrap]

Sorry @JanesLittleGirl, if it is like Eeiliethya‘s pic, it is pretty awful. But, it is his hair, so his choice!

[ihatethecold]

Im
crying 😂😂😂😂

[lancsgirl85]

@SomersetONeil 😂😂

[TomatoorChips]

Ignore the negative people. When you walk down the street just swing the handbag that you have made form his testicles with pride.

[Gudbrand]

Finally I'd had enough of it so I made him an appointment with my hairdresser, Jo. I told her that he wanted to keep some of the length but I wanted it too short to tie in a bun. Apart from that she could use her imagination

I hope this whole thread is a wind up because if it's not, this is just awful.
His hair, his decision about when and if and how to get it cut.

[SomersetONeil]

Maybe we’re being really unfair, and he actually looks dead regal, like…

[BobbinHood]

YABU for giving the hairdresser a “brief” for your DH’s haircut. I can’t get past that!

[SomersetONeil]

P.S. I didn’t realise Hugh Laurie was one of America’s founding fathers?!?

[FAQs]

Just hair for the comments.

[Rewis]

It gets quite disturbing from the second paragraph onwards.

[Hollyhocksarenotmessy]

Is it supposed to be surfer/grunge hair, but gone wrong? Womens hairdressers are usually shit at mens hair.

DP went to a friend's hairdresser wife for a trim and came back with a full-on mullet.

[lancsgirl85]

I'm actually quite envious of the "scruffy man bun". I find them quite sexy. My DP insists on shaving his head. I'd quite like if he had some extra locks, truth be told.

Defo not envious of the bob, though😂

[Jimmyneutronsforehead]

I think we do need a picture really to judge your disappointment

[Topseyt123]

I don't think this would unduly bother me to be honest. I imagine a man bob to be something like Professor Snape in the Harry Potter films, rightly or wrongly.

My DH is the opposite to yours, OP. He has his own set of Wahl clippers and every month or so uses them to cut his own hair into a crew cut. When he has finished he asks me to go over it again in case he has missed any. I also have to neaten it up properly along his hair line at the back, which is for some reason a couple of inches lower on his left than on his right. 🙄 So I have to take the left hand side up by a bit to make it look normal. 🤣

He likes it, especially now that he is in his late fifties and grey all over.

I remember one occasion a few years ago when his old clippers broke down part way through a cut. I had a cocker spaniel at the time who I fairly regularly had to groom myself, so I had to get out my dog clippers for DH to finish his own haircut with. They did a very good job, I have to say. 🤣

[Jewel1968]

I have always like long hair on men. If he likes it then that's your answer.

[myceliumama]

@Midlifemusings

Controlling much? This is emotional abuse. You don't own his head or his hair.

I don't like my wife's hair - so I called a hairdresser and told her how I wanted them to cut her hair, she had it cut but not exactly the way I had told them to cut it....how do I force her to wear her hair exactly as I want it?

Oh bore off! It's absolutely NOT abuse. I give my husbands barber instructions when I make the appointment for him. Not because he can't make his own or needs help but because he literally doesn't care. If it was left to him he'd have a grey scraggly rats tail and an egg in the nest. His nasal and ear hair would be meeting in the middle. But then I wouldn't find him attractive and he actually WANTS me to be attracted to him and so he's easy with whatever I want. In the same way that I know he doesn't like the idea of me shaving my head or even having one side shaved. So I don't do it. It's not abuse. Plus my OH really likes going for a 90 minute pamper once a month getting his goatee beard shaped, cut throat shaved, facial massage and all his orifices waxed.

[SheeceRearsmith]

That’s hilarious. Nowt wrong with a man bun but crikey, giving your hairdresser a brief on how you want his hair to be is way over the line.

[FfeminyddCymraeg]

I know it’s his hair but my fanny would clamp shut if DH came home with a bob. I couldn’t take him seriously.

[Midlifemusings]

@YukoandHiro

I'm struggling to understand why your DH accepted YOU giving instructions to his hairdresser. Would you let him do that for you? It's insanely controlling.
Having said that my DH made it fairly obvious he hated a recent hair change I had and his clear dislike did contribute to me deciding to switch again after about 9 months. So maybe just make a lot of fairly obvious jokes about it

When people have controling and abusive spouses, they often go along with the demands to avoid more fights and more abuse. Giving in keeps the peace, having your own voice or opinion or disagreeing - gets you more abuse.

My brother has an abusive and controlling wife and he just does whatever it takes to keep her happy. She has no problem tearing a strip off him in front of the kids if he disagrees with her so he just walks on eggshells and bends over backwards to try and anticipate what will make her happy and to always agree with her.

[Gizacluethen]

I mean, its his hair, his choice. But I would not find it attractive at all and I'd really struggle to accept it. But you can't really say anything

[whynotwhatknot]

its just the way you said youd had enough

its not your hair-my dh has had long hair and now very short buzzcut its none of my business what he does with it

[JudgeJ]

@Theworldisquiethere

You made him an appointment and told the hairdresser how you wanted his hair cut? Do you not see how controlling that is? It’s his hair, if he was happy with a scruffy man bun then that’s his choice! If he’s happy with this hair then that’s also his choice

Exactly! If a man tried to control his wife in this way, dictating how she wore her hair, the screams of LTB would be heard in space!

[HeckyPeck]

@Eeiliethya

This has more of the side swept fringe look, like this?

🤣 poor OP! I would struggle to find my DH attractive if he had that. 😵

[LuckySantangelo35]

It sounds absolutely terrible op

you still have to fancy him at the end of the day. Not many men would look attractive with a Bob

id be having serious words

YABU

[Bretonbear]

I'm sorry but I couldn't get past you giving the hairdresser instructions on how to cut your husbands hair. Your 5 year old child, yes. Your husband, no.