AIBU wanting my partner to have a drink with me??

[Salvia89]

DP by admission isn’t a big drinker.. I enjoy a glass of wine or g&t etc and enjoy a drink a few nights a week. Usually 1 or 2 drinks.

What I’d really love, is on occasion (once or twice a month perhaps) to have a few drinks together.. get tipsy etc but DP “doesn’t like to drink at home”.

Thing is.. he’ll happily have 4 or 5 beers when we have friends over to watch the football.. in fact he’s asked me to do a long drive in a couple of weeks as it’s the morning following the cup final. I’m fine with this but just find it annoying that he’s happy to have a few drinks for football/ if he goes out with friends (every couple of months) but very rarely just between us. We rarely go out together because of DC.

I’ve never put pressure on him, but this evening would have loved to have shared a bottle of wine (or 2!) had some silly chat/dancing and maybe a tipsy shag!

AIBU? Part of me thinks that I’m a knob thinking this (his body/decisions etc) but another part of me long me for the days of past where I’d come home to housemates/past bfs and we’d have a few drinks on a Friday night!

All’s great in the relationship apart from this .. just a bit of a bugbear.

@thevanilla

im even worse. I drank last night as went out, I’m not out tonight but will probs have a couple of drinks in the house as it is a Saturday and next week I may have a glass of wine one or two nights next week depending on whether I have day and/or just fancy a drink.

should I be calling 111?

I can assure you that it is entirely normal behaviour to have a drink in ones own home, and has been since the dawn of time.

I take it back! Dp just called. A couple of friends are coming over for a BBQ. Looks like I might be having a few drinks tonight as well. Deary me!

i hope you’re going to call your GP Monday

Probably turn me to drink trying to get through!

Nah, not on to encourage someone to do something that is bad for them.

He doesn't like to drink at home, what a great habit!! Support that.

Sorry you don't have an at home drinking buddy, genuinely wish I could help. I love my red wine on the sofa of an evening and have a lovely time. But if husband is not having any (often he will only have a glass) I still have mine and get tipsy, if that's what I'm up to that evening.

Does he mind you doing it alone?

Blimey most of these replies shock me. Not unreasonable at all IMO. My partner and I love a good drink at home and I miss having that tipsy dance around the kitchen and tipsy shag with him, once DS is a little older he’ll be shipped off to nana’s for a night so I can enjoy having more than a glass of wine with him again.

@WaltzingWaters

You could have more than one glass whilst your son is at home surely?

I don’t like drinking that much and tend to only drink very occasionally when out. I would hate someone to try and pressure me to drink at home

Well YABU for wanting him to drink when he doesn't want to, but all the things you mentioned wanting to do when "tipsy"... Why can't you do them sober? The thought of "silly" dancing because you've had a drink is quite cringey but fair enough if you like to dance around the room together anyway. 🤷‍♀️ None of those things need alcohol to happen, though.

Yep he’s one for silly dancing and fun in the living room sober.. and we do that lots! Mostly when the kids are awake though… There’s no denying though that after a few drinks it’s a different kind of fun (shoot me now pearl clutchers!!!)

I think I’m going to suggest having “date nights” at home, even though the term makes me crawl out of my skin. We’ve got into a bit of a habit lately of sitting with
squash or tea on the sofa after the kids are asleep.. think I just long for a bit of connection and personally enjoy the connection that comes from a few wines. Even if he doesn’t want to drink on said “date night” at least we’re mixing it up a bit!

To those who said I must be a bore to be with as it’s boring being sober around a drunk person.. I don’t really drink (more than a glass or 2) if he isn’t, as it’s not much fun for either of us being on different levels like that.

I think a lot of it comes from our upbringings in that my family all regularly enjoy a few drinks whereas his are more of a cup of tea family. Is what it is though. It’s annoying he’ll drink with friends but not me but there’s not much I can really do about it without being a knob!

I far prefer drinking at home than going out.

It's hard to arrange babysitters, then when I go out there are crowds, queues, taxis, overpriced drinks, high heels and rain.

At home there's whatever drink I want in the fridge, comfy pjs and my bed nearby.

He’s only 7 weeks old and I’m breastfeeding so a small glass of wine is it for now

It’s safe to drink a lot more than this while breastfeeding fyi, feel free to have more than one small glass

I agree with you OP. I love a couple of wines at home and lovely to have that tipsy fun with a partner! Don't mind posters who think that a glass of wine at home is nothing short of hedonistic!

Some of these comments 🤣🤣🤣

YANBU OP I love an occasional drink with my DP at home!