AIBU wanting my partner to have a drink with me??

[Salvia89]

DP by admission isn’t a big drinker.. I enjoy a glass of wine or g&t etc and enjoy a drink a few nights a week. Usually 1 or 2 drinks.

What I’d really love, is on occasion (once or twice a month perhaps) to have a few drinks together.. get tipsy etc but DP “doesn’t like to drink at home”.

Thing is.. he’ll happily have 4 or 5 beers when we have friends over to watch the football.. in fact he’s asked me to do a long drive in a couple of weeks as it’s the morning following the cup final. I’m fine with this but just find it annoying that he’s happy to have a few drinks for football/ if he goes out with friends (every couple of months) but very rarely just between us. We rarely go out together because of DC.

I’ve never put pressure on him, but this evening would have loved to have shared a bottle of wine (or 2!) had some silly chat/dancing and maybe a tipsy shag!

AIBU? Part of me thinks that I’m a knob thinking this (his body/decisions etc) but another part of me long me for the days of past where I’d come home to housemates/past bfs and we’d have a few drinks on a Friday night!

All’s great in the relationship apart from this .. just a bit of a bugbear.

@5128gap

What a pal!!

It's absolutely normal to have a drink at home, what are you on about?

missing the point again. It doesn’t matter if you’re drinking that much every night, the fact is you’re drinking more than your weekly units in one night which is incredibly unhealthy yet you’re trying to normalise it. Have you discussed your binge drinking with your GP?

sorry I meant to quote @AllThingsServeTheBeam in that last post

YABvU - mainly because sober sex orgasms are the best- you feel EVERYTHING, nothing is er...dulled

As you were.

Have you discussed your binge drinking with your GP?

Such snide faux concern.

🤨

@thevanilla

how do you know she is drinking above recommended weekly units?

also most people do from time to time.
doesn’t mean they have to speak to their GP.
what do you think GP will do? Woman likes to get tipsy on wine a couple of times a week? Do you think they will send her to rehab or something? Talk about wasting bloody NHS time?

I used to enjoy sharing a bottle of wine with my partner. However in the last 12 months I've given up alcohol as it doesn't seem to agree with me anymore and I feel ill and groggy for days afterwards- possibly due to changing hormones during peri menopause. We still go out to social events (bonus is I can now drive instead of getting taxis!) and he still enjoys a drink at home, I join him with a wine glass and some nice flavoured tonic water with ice - never been an issue. It seems you may be feeling like he finds spending time with friends more appealing? But you can still spend time together if one of you isn't drinking xx

YABVU op.
I'm a teetotaler but when my DH is at home he likes to crack open the alcohol.
He understands and respects that I don't want any, so he doesn't offer of course.
Neither of us have a problem with each others preferences, nor do we need to be tipsy to chat, dance or have a shag.

Um have you discussed your over reactions and issues with alcohol to yours?

what an odd comment.

Jeez OP hasn't said she's going to get a funnel and ram it down his neck if he doesn't agree to it!

You feeling miffed is perfectly valid if it's something he'll happily do for footy but not with you..you'd be unreasonable to force him to participate though,which I'm sure wouldnt happen anyway...

I also enjoy sharing a bottle with hubby, and a tipsy shag! I'd be disappointed if he said he would never do this again, I don't think it's an unreasonable or strange thing to do with your partner! And I'm sure wit the cost of living more will be doing this than going out drinking!

I don't understand how what he has in his glass affects you? Why does he have to be drinking alcohol just because you are?

I rarely drink these days and personally would prefer it if DH didn't drink at home, but I don't say so because it is his house too.
DH has at last stopped offering me an alcoholic drink everytime he has one, and that is good.
I wouldn't want to get drunk at home with DH.

This. If he is happy to drink with friends then he is not the poor coerced teetotaller some people are alluding to. It's nice to have a companiable drink together sometimes and there is nothing wrong with wishing he would do this with you sometimes. Yanbu

Came here for the comments, was not disappointed 😂

I assume you're aiming this at me. I have no need to discuss anything with my GP. Don't fall of that high horse will you...

For anyone unsure about the meaning of passive aggression (as per a previous thread), behold the perfect example.

I know what you mean. Date night at home with wine is nice! And a lot cheaper than going out.
I’ve also lived with a teetotaller where we literally never drank at home. That was fine too. (But there was a lot of boring nights in front of the telly.)

I get you actually. You’ve acknowledged that it’s his body/decision etc so you know it’s not a totally rational feeling, but it is nice to share a convivial bottle of wine with someone now and again.

@axolotlfloof

out of interest why would you prefer it if your DH didn’t drink at home?

@LuckySantangelo35 @axolotlfloof I wondered this too, what’s the issue?

you will, when your drinking catches up with you. better to get a handle on it now eh?

@thevanilla

lol

what do you mean by “when your drinking catches up with you”? What does that mean?

Do you think that everyone who enjoys a few drinks is automatically set on a path to alcoholism?

Handle what exactly? I don't have a problem. I had a drink last night and was up bright and breezy this morning and I probably won't have a drink again until next Friday when we have an evening out.