AIBU wanting my partner to have a drink with me??

[Salvia89]

DP by admission isn’t a big drinker.. I enjoy a glass of wine or g&t etc and enjoy a drink a few nights a week. Usually 1 or 2 drinks.

What I’d really love, is on occasion (once or twice a month perhaps) to have a few drinks together.. get tipsy etc but DP “doesn’t like to drink at home”.

Thing is.. he’ll happily have 4 or 5 beers when we have friends over to watch the football.. in fact he’s asked me to do a long drive in a couple of weeks as it’s the morning following the cup final. I’m fine with this but just find it annoying that he’s happy to have a few drinks for football/ if he goes out with friends (every couple of months) but very rarely just between us. We rarely go out together because of DC.

I’ve never put pressure on him, but this evening would have loved to have shared a bottle of wine (or 2!) had some silly chat/dancing and maybe a tipsy shag!

AIBU? Part of me thinks that I’m a knob thinking this (his body/decisions etc) but another part of me long me for the days of past where I’d come home to housemates/past bfs and we’d have a few drinks on a Friday night!

All’s great in the relationship apart from this .. just a bit of a bugbear.

YANBU.

It's the doing it with his mates but not you. No matter what it was, I'd be annoyed at the different treatment. Even if it was 'I don't eat cake' then going out for cake with his mates.

Could it be you thats annoying when you're drunk though and he is trying to avoid that? Or is he happy to spend time with you when you're drinking and he's not?

Eh? You can't comprehend why people drink at home? I don't think I know a single person who doesn't drink at home?! You realise supermarkets have alcohol for sale? Who do you think buys that?

It sounds like he's just a social drinker, but doesn't particularly find it appealing otherwise. Maybe when he's at home with you he just wants to relax, and alcohol just doesn't do it for him.

Has he raised issues about your own drinking? It can almost appear like you want him to drink with you so you don't find your own drinking habits so bad.

Tipsy shags are the best between partners

You sound wierd. Millions have house parties, drinks and takeaways, boozy bbqs.

I love having wine watching something so must mean I need to be sectioned.

I feel you OP. It's nice to have a drink with your partner and get a bit tipsy.

It isn't very nice tbh that he will do this with his friends but not you. He's obviously connecting having a drink with relaxing with his friends, whereas you want to do it with him.

I don't have any solutions but I do know what you mean.

I don’t think I’m particularly annoying when drunk (well no more annoying than the next person!) and DP is happy to be the designated driver to BBQs where I’d have a couple of drinks, so don’t think that’s the issue.. plus he’d tell me if I was annoying!

In the end there’s no real solution to it, and he’s fully entitled to not drink at home with just me (even though it’ll secretly annoy me sometimes 😝).

Lols… I’m not planning on getting him drunk, handcuffing him to the bed and shoving a marrow up his bum.

I can hand on heart say that he would consent to having sex with me after 4 glasses of wine. And it would be fun.

Why are people jumping all over the OP? I reread the post a couple of times just to check but she isn't saying that she wants to get pissed every night - just have a couple of drinks and get a bit silly and enjoy some closeness with her partner. What is the issue with that? Read the post!

Same as @thevanilla X

I don’t drink much at all (had a bottle of gin in the cupboard since Christmas and it’s more than half full).

But….I can totally understand the appeal of drinking with your DP and having a laugh and a tipsy shag.

Some of the replies are funny though….God sometimes I want to go back to the 90’s when things were more relaxed!

You’ll be slated for this!

you are NOT being unreasonable 🎉

It's MN. Sniff a sherry and you're an alcoholic.

I think you have a rose tinted view of alcohol and its effects. You're being very unreasonable to want someone to drink against their wishes.

Yabu. Your DH doesn't sound like he's trying to dictate anything and is leaving you to do your own thing. I think you should do the same. Each to their own.

I do leave him to do his own thing.. just can’t help how I feel sometimes. The AIBU is more AIBU for feeling this way rather than WIBU to force him to drink (which id never do). Sounds like I’m not the only person to feel this way which has reassured me 😊.

I guess it’s a bit like disliking your DPs choice in trainers, but everything else is great so you live it even though you’d rather he had a different choice in shoes 😂

It's his choice, I wouldn't agree with pressuring him etc... but I enjoy sharing a bottle with my dh now and then and just relaxing and chatting. We do do 'date dinners' at home sometimes and we have some wine and I really enjoy it. All the perks of a date night out but less hassle because it's easier to arrange and you're in the comfort of your own home. So I get why you'd enjoy it and I don't think that's u reasonable, but unfortunately if your dh isn't keen then it's just something you have to accept. Maybe try and arrange some dinners out more instead?

I like a drink. It would put me off in all honesty. Compatibility and all that. We don't get sloshed but we enjoy a drink together.

“But what if someone needs to drive to the hospital???????”

I think the alcohol is a red herring here. It’s the fact that he’s happy to do something with his mates but won’t do it with the OP.

Whether that activity is bowling, knitting, cinema, crochet or having a beer or 2, it’s got to sting that he doesn’t want to do it with you,

I don't think you are being unreasonable for wanting those evenings, but unfortunately you are being unreasonable for insisting on them if your partner really doesn't want to.

Is there anything you could do to be silly together without the booze? Trip away? Slightly off the wall outdoorsy activity? Something you wouldn't normally do together to take you out of your comfort zones?

For the record, i enjoy a drink far more frequently than my partner does.

Indeed. Every parent must always be ready with a car and completely sober At All Times

You can't understand that not everybody thinks the same way as you?

You can't understand that liking a few drinks doesn't make you an alcoholic?

Jesus, how lacking in empathy.

YAB massively unreasonable. It's fine to want to relax and enjoy a silly night in with your partner, but really not ok to want him to have alcohol to enable that to happen.
It doesn't make people uptight if they don't want to drink at home. In fact quite the opposite. If he can have fun and relax without booze, then surely that's a healthier attitude and intrinsically more relaxed than someone who needs a glass of wine or two to have fun?
Tbh if I'd got to the point where I was equating having fun with having a drink, and thought people were less fun if they were sober, I'd be questioning my relationship with alcohol. And no that doesn't make me uptight, it just makes me someone who can laugh and sing and dance without needing booze to do so...

Two adults enjoying a Harvey's Bristol Cream together when their child is in the house is Very Bad Parenting.