AIBU that football should not affect your mood

[EvertonSuck]

Everton have just lost. I now have to deal with a very pissed off husband - AIBU that my husband shouldn’t get too emotionally invested in something he has zero control over?

I’d understand a little bit more if he actually played on the bloody team!!

It's fine if you don't like football, it's not fine to call other people derogatory names and stereotyping a majority of people for enjoying something you don't.

It’s not a majority though is it? All the passionate football fans I know behave like grown ups. Of course, if your team loses its completely normal to be disappointed, it’s not normal to impact your family life/throw a tantrum/spend a weekend in bed.

Your confusing the 2 things, read the thread and see the names football fans have been called on here, it's not ok. I'm not talking about sulking etc..I'm talking about the posters on this thread who are ignorant and rude.

This was a game where if they won they would be safe from relegation.

Sounds like you've misinterpreted this comment.

Well, yes, but it will always be the twin towers to me!

Hmm relegating battle and they won, not just any old game!

Just had a Google and it seems that 19% of fans to premiership matches are women. This, near as much, corresponds with the number of women who sit near us at Goodison Park.

Emotional, a bit deflated, mildly annoyed. Yes fine and proportionate.

Given I've only ever witnessed 2 major gang fights in my life both involving major injuries both fuelled my football result anger, given that I had to leave a friends house a few months ago as her husbands team lost and he was stomping around the house, swearing, and given the rise in domestic abuse following football matches. I find a lot of reactions to football very disproportionate and pathetic.

That 19% was from 2010 and was rising too, wouldn’t surprise me if it was more like a quarter now.

Either way, I think ‘many many women’ was a fair description.

@SlightlyGeordieJohn

Sorry forgot to quote

But everyone on her would condemn behaviour like that. I’m not sure how or why it’s relevant to the OP.

She said her husband is pissed off, and she's had a very pissed off husband to deal with.

She didn't say a bit upset, or emotional. She said pissed off.

It's unreasonable to be pissed off and to have people around you bear the brunt of it because of a football result.

I gave extreme examples, which honestly are not uncommon. But those behaviours are usually fuelled by being pissed off.

You can be upset your team did not win, but it shouldn't overtly effect your mood to the point you are bothering those around you.

That maybe says more about your social circle and where you live than it does about football though.

You can be upset your team did not win, but it shouldn't overtly effect your mood to the point you are bothering those around you.
It was the middle of a crucial game and his team were losing 2-0 and playing very poorly. I think expecting him to sit there stoically is unrealistic.

All we know is that he ‘stormed through’ and (prematurely) said that Everton had lost. We don’t know exactly what constitutes ‘storming through’ but the behaviour sounds trivial. Shoe-horning gang violence into the conversation seems ridiculous to me.

Yes, hundreds of thousand every weekend is definitely “many.”

Why are you saying how others should feel? Is this based on professional opinion, or do you just think that for some reason you are arbiter of how people’s emotions should work?

OP hasn't really qualified what "pissed off" entails in her household, I imagine it means different things for different people. I often get pissed off driving to work, it's not a big deal in reality and DH would just roll his eyes at me. If DH's team were losing and about to be relegated he'd be thoroughly pissed off and I think that's reasonable.

I think the issue isn't football - just don't marry someone who escalates to an a irrational level of pissed off. That's true of anything in life.

My team list to Sunderland once. Alan Shearer missed a penalty (pretty much unheard of) and we lost 1-0.

I’d travelled 300 miles to see the game, and I think it’s fair to say that I was a bit pissed off.

If the husband’s reaction. Was anything like mine that wound mean feeling a bit subdued, and not being in the mood to go out for a drink afterwards.

Those trying to insinuate that he hit his wife with a frying pan and then had a screaming tantrum on the ground are probably a bit wide of the mark.

Yes!!
My partner says his evening is 'ruined' when his team loses. He gets so angry, goes as far as shouting F* SAKE REF.. you'd think he was their manager the way he goes off on one 😂
This team lost a match recently and I said oh fine I'll stay at work an extra half an hour so I don't have to come home to an atmosphere. I ended up coming home at normal time and luckily he was fairly neutral, he bet against his own team and won some money so could've been worse haha!

You’re probably right. I dare say it’s the same with women who say they want to work in male-dominated jobs, or make it to board-level, they don’t really want to, it’s more about wanting love from their fathers.

I live in Newcastle BTW, which is assuming where you are from. Both fights were witnessed at Newcastle train station following a home match.

The question is on AIBU. I believe to show anger that impacts on others after a football match to be unreasonable.

If I've had a bad day at work I wouldn't stomp around the house. My partner is a massive competitive gamer, often does it for money too, if he loses, it bothers him, but he has enough respect for me to not let it have an impact on my day, he can quietly stew in his rage if he likes.

A close relative is a professional footballer, when he loses he pulls his face a bit, says oh well that's a shame and moves on with his day.

You described feeling subdued and not in the mood for a drink, not stomping around. Most of what you described seemed related to the time and effort to see the match, which was a let down, to feel subdued is proportionate to that experience. To feel anger and to let it interfere with the moods of people around you, is not proportionate. That is my opinion, I am not an expert on what is justified and what isn't.

Anger, stomping and being very pissed off is uncomfortable or even intimidating to be around, even if it's to a significantly lesser degree than "hitting his wife with a frying pan" - which I did not insinuate by the way is what happened to the OP. The thread title asked about football affecting mood, I gave an extreme reaction, which as I said, is not uncommon.

Yeah I’m sure women are just biologically incapable of enjoying football themselves. Stockholm syndrome is the sensible explanation.

Haha no wasn't me. I was wearing my purple top 😂