AIBU that football should not affect your mood

[EvertonSuck]

Everton have just lost. I now have to deal with a very pissed off husband - AIBU that my husband shouldn’t get too emotionally invested in something he has zero control over?

I’d understand a little bit more if he actually played on the bloody team!!

It's not just beyond family though isn't it? It's slap bang in the middle of family, making every one suffer in the process. Pretty obsessive and selfish behaviour.

Well they just won and secured their position in the league for next year, so I bet he’s delighted.

I’ve been upset during games, probably shouted at the tv, but it doesn’t usually significantly affect my mood for more than a few minutes post-game.

My team has been relegated before (very disappointing as we’re a fairly small club unlikely to be back in the PL again). The disappointment probably lingered but it never manifested as sulking.

I’m sorry if you’ve had some shitty men in your life that have been over-invested, but you can’t extrapolate that to every football fan.

That's a specific type of person you're talking about. Not every football supporter acts like a dick when their team loses.

According to the BBC Rangers fans were distraught last night be cause there team lost. Perhaps if they were in the Ukraine they might find out what distraught really means.

Buzzing for you, Evertonians!

While I (obviously) don't condone aggression at all, football is very, very important to some people, and that's not silly or embarassing.

It's a constant in their lives from childhood - passed down through families.

I know people who had their first season tickets when they could barely walk and could sing you a selection of their teams' songs before they started school.

They've been to games every weekend throughout the season their entire life with their grandparents and parents and cousins, and this was the way they bonded with those family members and the memories they hold dearest.

They have memorial plaques at the ground for dead loved ones, would only ever buy their nana an M&S jumper for Christmas in team colour or she'd go mad.

Who travel round the country to see games every other week on smelly coaches just for the sheer love of it and the cameraderie of standing in the freezing bastard cold singing your heart out.

It might seem silly to be upset about something bad happening to your team, but it's not. For some people it's as much a part of their identity as their hair colour or hometown or religion or whether they're left or right handed or their political beliefs or accent or ... anything else.

And not all football fans are men. The fiercest United fan I ever knew was my great-nana who, at 80 years old, was still toddling off to Old Trafford in her scarf until she couldn't any more. One of my oldest friends hasn't missed a game of her local team in years.

So no, football isn't something men invented so they could be arseholes. People love it and if you don't understand that, it's fine, but if someone tells you something is important to them and that they're upset cos it's going badly and you mock them for it then frankly I think that makes you the dick, not them.

I honestly wasn't expecting this result when I posted earlier, well done Everton.

someone i once knew was literally unable to stand up as he was crying so much when "his" team got relegated
you would have literally thought his parents had died

Ah yes, I forgot you're only allowed to be upset about something if nobody else in the entire world has it worse than you.

Ten years ago their club went into administration and they had to re-apply for the ability to play in European competitions. This was a big deal for them.

Christ, I hate Mumsnet sometimes, and ESPECIALLY the football snobbery.

Yes, this.

Also, @SirGawain, it's Ukraine, not "the" Ukraine. If you must be sanctimonious, do it correctly.

www.google.com/amp/s/theconversation.com/amp/its-ukraine-not-the-ukraine-heres-why-178748

Is it ok to affect his mood now OP?

I'm a maasssssive Chelsea fan but I'm thrilled for Frankie boy and Everton. Lamps will always have a little piece of my heart... 💙

@housemaus Thank you, you've said exactly what I wanted to say but a million times better than I could have done.

I am a 4th generation Blue and my Dc are 5th generation. I was taken to my first match at Goodison by my Grandad when I was 7 and my Dad took my boys to their first when they were a similar age. It is an important part of my life and I actually feel sorry for anyone who doesn't have something, doesn't have to be football, that they care and are passionate about.

It is, of course, totally wrong that anyone is negatively affected by someone when their team loses but the majority of football fans are not violent or would ever advocate violence.

Classica - I was referring to the behaviour of the ops dh, the op who posted about said behaviour, much like many other posters do - about obsessive football fans affecting others

I'm with you.
OP's Dh's feelings are perfectly valid.

Why does being upset about the result equal obsessive? Why does nobody call fans who are still banging on about Lewis Hamilton and the F1 last year "obsessive"? Is it because it's not football?

Exactly - I think it's a bit sad that people can't imagine having that passion for something.

So pleased for you tonight (hoping Leeds go down 😂)! Bet it's a cracking atmosphere at your house 💙

Stupid and tasteless comment.

Well I almost cried tonight when Villa equalized, however, I am now back to normal…..until Sunday!! UTC

Of course it affects your mood. I take it you don't like football or you'd understand why.

Tears, little tantrums and generally a bit moody, fine. Being aggressive and taking it out on you or the kids obviously isn't.

Anyway, I take it he's in a great mood now that they won and are staying up!!

They’ve never finished outside the top 8 in the premier league.

This is the whole point. What appalling for top clubs is so far removed from what it’s like to support a team getting relegated/at threat of relegation.

Leeds fans here....

We're sulking.

My DP gets pissed off, but he isn't aggressive or lets it go on for maybe an hour after the game. He likes football, he supports Leeds and has done all his life so I can understand why he is frustrated.

I'd only get pissed off with him if he:

1. Was aggressive
2. Sulked for days and ruined any plans we had or the general mood in the house.
3. Went on to support Man U instead.

housemaus absolutely bang on, well said! 👏👏👏👏👏

Oh the tedious mumsnet snobbery towards football. So sorry the plebs enjoy football and not good old rugger. It’s the most popular sport in the world, bad luck.

Really pleased for Everton, will feel sympathy with either Leeds or Burnley on Sunday.
The championship is much more fun though.

It’s losing.

I well remember the homophobia, misogyny and aggression from the Rugby teams at college who thought that they could get away with anything they wanted because of who they were. I never, ever saw similar from the football teams. The sense of entitlement that the rugby lads had was quite breathtaking.