AIBU that football should not affect your mood

[EvertonSuck]

Everton have just lost. I now have to deal with a very pissed off husband - AIBU that my husband shouldn’t get too emotionally invested in something he has zero control over?

I’d understand a little bit more if he actually played on the bloody team!!

So many judgemental and very sexist , typical mumsnet comments on here
Many many women go to football matches , its not all violent thugs , they are a minority but the only ones that make the papers
Supporting a team can mean a lot to people , it may be deep rooted family and getting pissed off when they loose is also fine, admittedly it should only last a short while, disappointment may last longer
But why do people think its ok to tell others that they are pathetic etc , people can like different things
Some on here its their way or the highway and that makes you a lot less likeable person and not a nice trait to have, to not be able to accept others have different likes etc

If you think that’s bad wait until you hear about the people affected by what happens to characters in hooks or films. How ridiculous would it be to feel happy, sad, angry or elated about completely nonexistent entities.

Fortunately completely normal people like us feel no emotions at all about anything that doesn’t happen to us directly and personally.

This.

Feeling disappointed is normal and absolutely fine. Acting like an arse is not.

@Momicrone if your not into football you can't really judge
What things do you like? We may find that boring ? Do you watch tv ? Why thats mostly make believe and people you have never met

Football hooliganism, DV, football taking over pubs and streets. Trains full of drunk, shirtless, shouting, singing arseholes. Violence, racism and xenophobia on the streets. Derbies that result in impassable streets. Stepping over vomit in the street. Workshy men missing work after big matches. Deaths from football (family violence, hooliganism, crushes).

This is like objecting to marriage because you don't like rowdy stag dos.

Well I felt pretty emotional at the final whistle, pure relief, and if people judge me for that, I just don't care.

I can understand being upset when your team lose. I am a sports fan and am very disappointed when my team loses, particularly in a big match. But. He should be able to behave in such a way that he isn't taking it out on people around him. If he is, that's a huge red flag, and the football is just a red herring taking your eyes off a bigger problem.

There was no suggestion that he was “taking it out” on anyone, just that he wasn’t in a good mood.

I loathe the overinvestment some men have in football. This is literally the only thing wrong with my bf: the emotional energy devoted to football.

He is self aware enough not to get angry or sulk if his team loses (thank God because that would be a dealbreaker) but I still hate having to pretend to care about it.

I think people can't help having their moods influenced by football but I do think they have a responsibility to not let it bleed over into making their loved ones feel like shit.

This! I'm a huge football fan and have been since I was a child. Football affects my mood massively so it's not just men. Its a huge part of my life.

Really wanted Everton to go down though.

I'd accept a 2 minute sulk immediately after the game is over then to move on, but anything more than that is pathetic.

I don't understand how women get a label of hysterical, or get labled simple or basic when they get invested into things like love island when men stomp around like toddlers and get into fights after their team didn't kick a ball well.

Maybe one reason for the labels is that some jump to calling a man “pathetic” for feeling emotional about something that matters to them.

Honestly though, so what?

It's "so what?" to you.

What's wrong with it being important to someone else? Everton is a big club with a long history in the Premier league. I'm delighted for the supporters today.

Depends on the extent of his reaction, OP. On here a lot of people look down on football and football supporters with a bit of a sneary, snobbishness. A lot of people, including lots of women enjoy football without taking it to the worst excesses as described by some on here.

In answer to your question, being disappointed and moody at how the game was going is probably fine and understandable, assuming it doesn't go any further than this. Especially given how crucial this particular game was.

If it continues for a long time and starts affecting your family life, or it is abusive and/or violent, then that is not ok.

It’s pathetic. I know someone who really does have skin in the game when his team win or lose. He doesn’t behave like a spoilt toddler when they lose.

It’s amusing how one-sided views like this are; coming out with such unpleasant insults and inventing facts to back up their views.

No-one said he’s behaving like a spoilt toddler, and I bet you’d be furious if someone said that’s how you were being if you got emotional over something that matters to you but not to them.

I’m not a big football fan but I do align with Everton. In a week when Liverpool is winning everything (again)c us blues don’t want to be relegated and then have the usual red side of things rubbing it in with the typical bitter blue comments. 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

Humans get emotional about all sorts, and if sport didn't stir up any reaction then millions wouldn't bother with it.

I have no interest but have lots of football fans in my family, all lovely normal people who feel hacked off if their team loses, and would definitely be in a crap mood if it had big consequences i.e relegation. I get that!

Side note it was a huge game for Everton, so glad they turned it round!

It’s amusing how one-sided views like this are; coming out with such unpleasant insults and inventing facts to back up their views.

Who’s inventing facts? Aside from this individual I know a number of passionate football fans, I’ve never seen them behave like grumpy children.

I wonder if the OP’s partner is even now asking his friends why she’s so unthoughtful and so unwilling to show any interest in the football even for their most important game in years.

He’s perhaps confused as to why she’s not willing to even try to understand why he cares, and wondering if she’s not capable of expressing normal emotions like he is.

I’m wondering this bin part because of the difference in views between this and when a woman asked why her fiancé isn’t excited about her wedding.

I mean, what sort of person could ever think some stupid flowers and a dress come house to the emotional meaning of your team facing relegation,

It shouldn't but it might if you're a man with the emotional maturity of a 9 year old

I'm disappointed with all the ignorance on this thread, and not surprised by the snobbery, but honestly I feel really sorry for you, to never know and understand those feelings of elation, connections and joy, is just a really sad thing. Those football fans on here will know exactly what I mean, and I think all those who have made rude and unnecessary comments should be ashamed of yourselves for being so judgemental.

It's fine if you don't like football, it's not fine to call other people derogatory names and stereotyping a majority of people for enjoying something you don't.

I don't like plenty of things others are passionate about, but I'm not ignorant enough to call them names because of it.

Haven't RTFT, but surely if he's an Everton fan he's used to them losing by now.