Support thread for those hosting refugees and advice for those thinking about it

[Honeysuckle9]

As per the previous thread this is a thread so we can offer support to each other and also outline the things we should be thinking about before making this leap

She can get her volunteering in a relevant field knocked off her jobsearch hours at 50%. Ask in the journal notes (in text). She can also get expenses reimbursed without affecting her UC.
And this is very useful, she had no idea and her coach / mentor (?) from the jobcentre didn't mention it even once! Already passed to her, and she thanks you too.
We had a wild idea of formalising this as an apprenticeship, but the potential employer is not too keen about all the additional paperwork.

Sitting A-levels/IB as a private candidate is an interesting idea too, though unfortunately of course he wants to do humanities (politics and economics).

Doesn't make a lot of sense to apply in Ukraine then, unless the family can afford KSE or similar, it is not a strong area there. I don't know, get him signed up to LSE Events, Chatham House Ukraine Forum, Ukrainian Institute - things like that. I also think all MP's offices are now crying for Ukrainian speaking assistants, they are completely swamped with requests. Here's his first step into politics, sort of a gap year, and it would do a lot of good for him if he decides to continue in the area and take A-levels in a year.

Venusclaptrap- this is a private school so likely smaller class sizes and just more money for resources in general? I think the benefits from that, short term, will outweigh the disadvantage if it’s not the best fit. And as long as you make it clear to her that it is not the only option and there is no need to stick with it if it doesn’t feel right, she needn’t feel pressured.

Thank you Honeysuckle and Countess. You have reassured me.

Yes, small class sizes, great resources and extra curricular facilities, and most importantly loads of support - a welfare officer and chaplain allocated to the refugees (they are considering taking ten).

But I will today also show her the websites for a couple of local vocational colleges so that she knows in advance of this week’s visit that there’s no pressure.

I keep going back to something someone said a while ago on the old thread - “I need to remember this is not my child”. Very wise. I do have a tendency to think I know what’s best, and bulldoze my own kids into stuff they don’t really want to do. So I need to be mindful of backing off.

@forinborin hmm. So PPE type degrees aren’t great in Ukraine?
I am still wondering if he could be persuaded into A levels. He’s set against ‘school’ but a college might be different.

there is money, but not loads (and assets are worth less at the moment because of the war).

as others have said - this is not my child, I need to back off! But I do worry about them making poor and very expensive decisions. Mum was wondering about buying a little plot of land at auction and just building a house and I struggled to explain how/why that isn’t as easy as it would be back home…

Thank you for starting this thread, so helpful to be able to talk anonymously to fellow hosts.
I agree we need to be able to off load in a supportive environment.
we have been hosting for three weeks now and have no regrets and we have a lovely Ukrainian lady staying with us. of course there have been some very minor problems but nothing that couldn’t be sorted.
For those about to host I would consider:

Electric appliances your guest may bring . You will need adapter plugs Europe to Uk.
For our guests Apple laptop we purchased a new lead for £20 from Amazon .

Recycling - in Ukraine recycling is not so wide spread so our guest found this difficult.

Heating - in Ukraine the weather is very cold in winter and very hot in summer. Our guest has found our rainy cold weather difficult to cope with. In Ukraine in winter homes are heated to 23-24 degrees. So our guest found her room cold when it was 21 degrees and dark rainy day.
We upped her duvet to 13 tog. And have purchased thermal curtain as only blind in the room. We are trying to keep her room at a higher temperature. She is often home in the day and has desk and works in her room.

Food - our guest doesn’t want to depend on us and declined our offer to provide food. Our fridge is taken over 🤣but as we are a small household not a problem . But I can imagine this could cause problems for other families . I would get a second fridge if you have the space .

Bank accounts - this has been a problem as our guest has a job offer hotel but can’t start until has bank account . She is currently doing cash in hand pub job but hates it. The Nat West have mucked up
application and keep emailing wanting more info, it’s taken weeks and not happening . She opened a Monzo account in 2 days.

Railcard - we used our Tesco vouchers and managed to get a 16-25 railcard very cheaply for our guest. Normally £30 we got for £6
We had to ring up as we couldn’t get her passport number to work with online application.

Apologies for not joining the thread of the conversation but hope this might be helpful for anyone about to host .

Hi Shiny
i read your post on the other thread and was going to reply , but thread was full .
You are in a difficult situation. I expect your guest is a little home sick , depressed, traumatised but it would not be good for her to not work or study for too long .
i think you mentioned she didn’t want to sign onto universal credit.
I would talk to her and give her a time frame after which she must get a job or sign on. I would say maybe a month or six weeks. If you can afford to feed her in that time . If you can’t of course she will need to sign on sooner .
Do you have a Ukrainian support group in your town ? Could she meet up with other local girls /families. Could you host a coffee and cake and invite guests to encourage her to mix?
Our guest speaks fluent very very good English and has a job etc (not in her professional field ) and is super busy. But she has also been very home sick and traumatised. So sometimes everyday stuff is hard for them .

Btw it's parents with children under three who don't have to work on universal credit, rather than parents with children under one.

Things have gotten a bit easier where we are, will update a bit later.

Unsure if this is helpful re bank accounts but Chase (American, part of JP Morgan) are now launching UK accounts. You apply via their app and you can then refer a friend, and you get £20 each. So, especially those who have multiple Ukrainians, if the chase applications work for them (can't see why they wouldn't) they could all refer each other and get a little extra cash, I know £20 isn't a lot but it will go towards a food shop or phone credit or something. Its a bank account with a card, it also can be used immediately online, and they're doing 1% cashback on purchases for the first year too, which isn't bad. From what I can see of mine it's similar to Monzo

I'm not posting this to benefit me, or mentioning my own referral link, I can do a step by step of how to do it if anyone wants it. Again, without my own referral link-I'm happy to benefit from referring my friends but not a situation like this

Hi, we received our guests a couple of days ago and they seemed to have settled in well, they are both lovely. A mum and a seven-year-old girl. The mum has secured some work on a farm, but they want her to do a late shift for the first few weeks. She has asked if the little girl can just stay here with me (I'm a stay at home mum to two much younger children) while she works ...

Hopefully the little girl will be enrolled in school next week however this finishes at 3 pm, and the late shift the mother has been offered starts around the same time and finishes at 1 pm! After a few weeks doing the late shift , she has said she will be able to move onto the early shift (7-2ish), problem is by that time it will be the summer holidays! I'm not comfortable being the default childcare option for a seven-year-old child that doesn't speak the same language as me, but I do understand this mum is in a difficult situation and I'm at home with my own children anyway.

The seven-year-old seems quite self-contained and quiet, but so far has always had her mum with her to translate (mhm speaks some English, child doesn't). In August onwards (we are in Scotland) we could be in a situation where the mother does the earlier shift on the little girl is at school and perhaps just needs me to drop her off in the morning, which would be fine.

But struggling to know what to suggest in the meantime!

Jumping on to say hello, our guests (mum & 3 year old son) arrived just over a week ago, after a very long approval process. Mum is a professional footballer in Ukraine, hopes to get some part time cleaning or ironing work once childcare is in place, we are visiting a pre school next week. They are lovely, respectful guests & are quite independent except speak no English. Our lovely local community has really rallied, we live in a small town & a group of retired/resting TEFL teachers have got together & arranged to provide one to one lessons to the approx 20 guests who've arrived so far 😀

Hi posted this in legal but maybe someone here can advise.
We're sponsoring a Ukrainian refugee who is in a refugee centre in Germany. She caught covid and so needed medical treatment there (she's now in hospital). Apparently the volunteers there applied for a visa for her so she could access medical treatment. Does this affect her British visa?
Thanks in advance. She's very worried.

Sorry this is not making sense to me .
What hours are the late shift ?
Cant work out if starting the same time means - same time as school begins or ends. Is it 9 am to 1 pm or 3 pm to 1 am?
But why would someone work so late on a farm ?
I think you should set boundaries from the start or you will end up resentful of your time . So maybe say you can help with childcare for first four weeks but after that she will need to find a childminder or after school club .
Also if it’s finishing at 1 am how will she get home ?

Yes it's 1500-0100. It's actually a huge arable facility with its own factory, so the shift will be in the factory. Somebody is able to give her a lift home… Yes I think you're right about saying I will do it for X number of weeks but after that it will be too much. I'm not sure she'll be able to afford childcare though! But she does need to sort something out instead of defaulting to me

Maybe as a low waged worker she can get universal credit to help with childcare costs? Fireyflies posted below:
‘A single person in full time work minimum wage wouldn't get anything from UC unless they've got very high rent (and the Ukrainians have no rent under the scheme) So no point bothering it for single people who are working. Might be worth it if they have children, and definitely needed if they are paying for childcare, as you get most of the childcare costs reimbursed via UC.’

Maybe as a low waged worker she can get universal credit to help with childcare costs? Fireyflies posted below:
‘A single person in full time work minimum wage wouldn't get anything from UC unless they've got very high rent (and the Ukrainians have no rent under the scheme) So no point bothering it for single people who are working. Might be worth it if they have children, and definitely needed if they are paying for childcare, as you get most of the childcare costs reimbursed via UC.’

Sorry for double post!

Thanks @TheCountessofFitzdotterel , I'm not sure that would apply to a school aged child though sadly. I will look into it.

www.understandinguniversalcredit.gov.uk/new-to-universal-credit/children-and-childcare/

yes as long as it is approved childcare you get help I believe .

Thanks I'll take a look at that!

I wouldn’t let childcare default to you as it’s a huge responsibility and not fair on your own children. Childcare workers eg nannies and childminders have insurance to cover accidents and public liability , first aid , safeguarding etc
The job should allow her to do the early shift and maybe you just take to school but holidays she will need registered childcare but it won’t start at 7 am .

Thanks @Dotdotdot21 I totally agree, I must be careful about boundaries. I don't mind dropping off at school or childcare if she is on an early shift. But I can't do endless hours looking after a child I barely know (and don't speak the same language as) over the holidays.

I have contacted a local childminder to see If there's availability for the summer. I think she might get some UC towards this...

As for the immediate future I think I'll agree to do a few weeks if she needs to do the late shift initially, but make it clear I can't do it after that. The early shift would mean me dropping the child at school, then her mother would be free to collect her.

Ok so by going on "entitled to" she should be eligible for around £190 PER WEEK on top of current earnings, and the local childminder does have holiday spaces and it would cost £45 per day 8-6.... so she should manage to pay for holiday childcare. If she is on an early shift I can take the child to childcare. If she is on a late I can pick her up at six and give her supper etc. I don't mind doing a bit at the end of the day in my house... it more taking three kids out every day, providing activities, keeping a third child safe for whole days out and about etc etc that is overwhelming.

And she might be able to open a tax free childcare account too, so it would be £36 for 8-6.