Control Your Kids

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Children running around in pubs. Personally I never let mine as you have people walking with drinks and food. The pub I’m in has a massive park opposite, take them there to burn off their excess energy after you’ve finished your meal instead of them zooming past me at 100mph. AIBU?

Robinni, I'm sorry if you think my post was harsh but the OP's whole premise was about children running around in a pub where food/drinks are served. I suppose that broadly you're in agreement because, if children were running around your son wouldn't have cause to react.

I've had numerous experiences of dodging children running around with parents blithely unaware or just not caring, it's really annoying. I wouldn't comment on parents of children with SEN because firstly I'm not one myself and secondly, I've never, ever seen a child with obvious SEN (or their parent) being tutted at, or eyebrows raised or anything like that. If that happens then that's very sad and yes, people should be more tolerant.

That said, no child, with SEN or not, should be running around and that's really all there is to it. It's not about the child, really, it's about the staff trying to do their job - and consideration for the other customers. It's not that difficult and PP nailed it by stating that child-friendly doesn't mean it is for children.

Parents/guardians/whatever - are responsible for the child(ren) in their care and it's not the job of other people to make allowances for them if/when they encroach on other people's space or put others are risk. That was my take away from the thread.

It's easy to see who the shit 'parents' are on this thread. I doubt they have the emotional intelligence to realise it though.

It's easy to see who the shit 'parents' are on this thread. I doubt they have the emotional intelligence to realise it though.

Yep.

I'll second that (or third it?)

This reminds me of when my 2 kids were younger. Mine were brought up to behave when having something to eat. I have read comments about people with kids who for various reasons this isnt possible and my heart goes out to them. The majority decide not to venture out as it a) causes other people stress or b) causes them stress as they are aware of their social obligations. Completely understandable

My situation was family meals. My kids would eat their dinner, chat and socialize with their similar aged cousins. However whenever they had all finished their meals, other family members kids would jump up and start misbehaving around the restaurant. Encouraging my own kids to join in which of course made me have to be the unpopular parent and tell my kids to please ignore their cousins.

This is where i had to be unsociable and i made no apologies for it because these kids had zero excuse. Well brought up, normally well behaved with no issues to excuse their behaviour. The grandparents of these children would ask me why i was being such a grump and i would make it clear how i felt about her input into my own kids behaviour whilst encouraging such poor behaviour from her grandchildren. She just couldnt see the problem so i often refused invites to family meals citing that i couldnt put up with their poor behaviour. It didnt help me in the popularity stakes i can tell you.

It depends on the pub for me Tbh, it can be hard to control young ones. In an adult pub no but in family pubs where there's a separate area for adults and large spaces designed for families it's fair enough. If you market your pub for families you should take steps to ensure its safe for them when they come and accept they'll be some kids who run around.

How should they take steps to not carry hot food and/or drinks around? Levitate them to the table?

There is no excuse for kids running around other than lazy parenting.

All pubs have drinks that can be spilt. A lot of pubs serve hot food. None of them are suitable for running around.

if they have a separate play area then running arojnd in that area is fine but not the rest of it.

*depends on the pub for me Tbh, it can be hard to control young ones. In an adult pub no but in family pubs where there's a separate area for adults and large spaces designed for families it's fair enough. If you market your pub for families you should take steps to ensure its safe for them when they come and accept they'll be some kids who run aroun

And there is the problem not the kids running around but the adults who let them ! If course a kid is going to run about inside a reasturant because the adults they are with refuse to guide them where is appropriate to run about and play.

LampLighter414
YABU that's hard work on the parents. It might be their first time out in months or even years given covid and a rare luxury given the cost of living crisis. They deserve a break to relax, chat, eat, drink, other people there can pay attention to what their kids are up to in case it's anything dangerous. Whatever happened to it takes a village to raise a child?“

Rubbish. Not my job to parent your kids.

How exactly are they going to bring food and drink to the parents of these feral brats if they can’t carry it because of the feral brats running around?

You just have to avoid family friendly pubs and going out with friends if they insist on brining their kids along (if you don't have children yourself)

Some pubs are adults only, some are family friendly. It's not fair to say they're all adult only spaces.

I agree kids need to be well behaved or not there. My toddler gets bored sometimes so we'll walk around together, but with me holding his hand and either outside or in an empty part of the pub (if there is one).

People who want a meal without kids running round should not have to avoid family friendly pubs!
Children should not be running around in a pub. Or a cafe or a shop or anywhere else unsuitable. It's that simple. If the children cannot sit still they should be taken out to burn off energy

No it isn't "fair enough". Just because something is used by a certain group, it doesn't mean that any and all behaviour by that group is fine. I couldn't go to an adult-only pub (I've never seen one of these, but bear with me) and remove all my clothes and then say it was OK because it's an adult space and I'm an adult. Standards of behaviour still apply. It's not just "anything goes" if families are allowed in.

If your children are incapable of not running around a pub then it's on you to take them elsewhere. Why should staff be put at risk of injury simply because you can't be bothered to parent your children?

The only way that I'd agree with you is if the "large spaces designed for families" could be used for running but couldn't be used for ordering food or drinks, as that's the only step that could be taken to ensure everyone's safety. Can't see anyone going for that, though!

Family friendly doesn't mean specifically for children. It's not a soft play.

@LampLighter414 - so, if it takes a village to raise a child, I am sure you would be completely OK with me telling your child off for running around a restaurant/cafe, causing disruption and risking spillage of hot drinks or food? Because if you aren’t happy with other adults telling your little precious off, then you don’t want the village to ‘raise’ your child, you want the village to ignore your poor parenting and your child’s feral behaviour.

And this may be news to you, but raising children IS hard work - and of course parents deserve some time off and a rest, but you do that somewhere appropriate - you don’t do it where your child running around will cause disruption and risk to others. What if there are other parents in the restaurant who have got a babysitter and come out to have some time off and a rest from their children - but your child running around is spoiling that? Whose need for a rest takes priority?

If you want a rest, take a picnic to the park, and let your kid run and play to their heart’s content ^in an appropriate milieu for that behaviour, while you sit and have your rest and time off.

Why should "the village" do your parenting for you, LampLighter?
other people there can pay attention to what their kids are up to in case it's anything dangerous is frankly breathtaking in it's selfish arrogance.
Wow!

Some villages have some very dodgy characters who i definitely wouldn't want involved in raising kids. You are basically saying let strangers look after your kids.

Stop being lazy, if they need exercise take them somewhere to exercise. If they need fed then take them somewhere to eat. If they need both then do it in your own home where no one cares if they act like brats.

We have a couple of dear friends whose kids have behavioural issues because the father used to quote the “It Takes a Village” and let’s them run wild. Even his wife has told him “We’re not fucking villagers!” and that nobody wants to raise his kids for him. He would pull out the “Let them be kids….” Or “Kids should be kids while they can” and undermine her. (Which caused issues between them too..) He was given a very clear list explaining why this is an utterly selfish and damaging to both his child’s self-esteem and educational needs when the school referred his family to a counsellor because his kids were unable to make friends or follow instruction. (They were miserable.) He now understands that his manifesto did his kids a huge disservice and now that they have boundaries and manners, they are integrating and much happier. (They know how to play WITH kids, not beside them.)

Lazy parents who let their kids run around pubs/shops/restaurants etc unfortunately abound. I saw 2 kids in the supermarket today on bloody scooters. When did people get so stupid and selfish!p?
i don’t care if they are shattered - it is their job to control their kids.
if they come too close to me when careening around, they are most definitely told to “walk - this is not a playground”. And if their parents don’t like it, they need to teach their kids how to behave in public places. It is basic manners.

Absolute nonsense.

Family friendly to me means - children's menus, crayons and playsheets and if you're lucky, a play area.

It does not mean that children can run riot around the tables.

Meals and drinks still have to be served safely

And children can be taught to bloody well SIT DOWN!

This is what family friendly means to me too. Kids menu, crayons on the table, Fruit Shoots behind the bar, and a general tolerance of kids chatting, accidentally spilling their juice, etc. It doesn't mean tearing around, running, climbing, going generally wild.

If you want mini-Lord of The Flies where your kid can engage in a survival of the fittest Battle Royale with a load of other kids, go to soft play (and even then don't let them run in the tabled areas).

Nope.
Bollocks to that.
There should never be any children running around where hot food is being served. If kids can't learn to sit down in a place where hot food is being carried around, then they shouldn't be there, however "family friendly" the place might say it is.

So family friendly pubs should only serve cold food and use plastic beakers so glad doesn’t get broken?