Control Your Kids

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Children running around in pubs. Personally I never let mine as you have people walking with drinks and food. The pub I’m in has a massive park opposite, take them there to burn off their excess energy after you’ve finished your meal instead of them zooming past me at 100mph. AIBU?

If your child's behaviour is challenging, you shouldn't be inflicting it on other people just because you fancy a pub meal. I've lost count of the meals I've had spoiled by entitled parents and kids.

I’ve worked in several pubs when I was younger and YANBU. Apart form being disruptive for everyone else (including families whose children are well-behaved and sitting patiently at the table while other kids run around yelling) it’s so, so dangerous to have kids running around when you’re carrying trays of glasses and hot food. It’s dangerous for your kid but it’s also dangerous for the staff.

I’m afraid I don’t buy the ‘parents can’t put their lives on hold just because they can’t control their children’ argument at all. Having a child means making changes to your life and yes, sometimes it will mean you have to miss out on things you enjoy. Your child, your responsibility, your problem. Nobody else should have to put up with terrible behaviour from your children just so you can have a pub lunch.

Either take your kids somewhere with a play area or a big garden, or bring things to keep them occupied. Colouring books, puzzles, a little Lego kit, a couple of their favourite action figures, whatever. By all means let them play on a phone or iPad provided they use headphones or play with the sound turned off. But if they can’t handle sitting at a table for the duration of a meal, don’t take them to places without child play facilities.

It's true, drunk adults are usually the noisiest!

I had a fall in a leisure centre changing room caused by trying to avoid three kids going around and around playing tag chase in there. Banged my head on the lockers and twisted my knee very painfully. Upon hearing the clatter the mum just turned and said, "well you shouldn't have been standing in their way", as if the changing room was put on purely for her kids to run riot rather than, you know, for changing. Luckily I was helped up by others in there but that was mortifying due to being undressed.

I did complain to the leisure centre about it and they just said kids of all ages were welcome and they prided themselves on being family friendly, but couldn't dictate how parents should parent their children unless it was causing a risk of injury to them. Injuring unrelated adults was apparently fine.

I quit the leisure centre and now go somewhere where kids have designed slots and are otherwise not allowed in. And I still have a dodgy knee to this day.

YANBU and anyone who says you are needs to take a look at themselves.

Mrsjayy

I voted wrong 😕 but you are right letting kids run about in a busy place is annoying and dangerous!

@Mrsjayy you can go and change your vote.simply by selecting the other option

Oh I didn't know that thought it was a one click thing 😳

You've clearly never carried a tray of hot food or drinks whilst trying to avoid tripping over feral children.

And who do you think would be in trouble if they got hurt.

Yes, it's sad if your child is difficult to handle but that's your problem not someone else's. Find somewhere else to take them till they can behave or find a way of occupying them so they stay put.

Having had 3 children and quite a few DGC, yes if you're paying attention to them (and have them in the middle, not the end) you absolutely can stop them running off.
To be fair, none of mine would have even thought it was a even a possibility and not all my DGC are angels by any means.

So yes, I would judge.

Kids running around in pubs are annoying but the most annoying humans in pubs that I've ever encountered are groups of rowdy really pissed men.

The fundamental purpose of a pub is for drinking alcohol and socialising, so, although it absolutely can be annoying, occasionally encountering groups of tipsy, loud adults is part of the deal, really. But kids running around and screaming or playing Baby Shark out loud 50 times on an iPad are not part of the deal.

Basically, kids running round and screaming in pubs is akin to having a bunch of adults getting pissed up and rowdy in soft play centre - they're doing the wrong thing in the wrong place and it's not appropriate.

@ManateeFair Yes, I've also worked in lots of pubs and agree it's really dangerous to have children running around. Or even just aimlessly wandering really, as they tend not to be particularly aware of people around them and whether they're getting in the way. I once literally trod on a toddler who was rolling around on the floor, and I obviously felt awful because I had clearly really hurt him - he screamed and screamed and I'm pretty sure his arm must have been really bruised, I was mortified - but what the hell were his parents doing letting him play on the floor next to the gate where the staff are emerging from behind the bar?

The thing is though in France I think it’s alot more difficult to go out with sen child. When we were at Disney my autistic child had a meltdown and people just really starred whereas in uk most people are understanding to a degree. Thst said though I don’t think it generally is sen children thst are running riot in restaurants and I wouldn’t allow my child to but I think if we lived in France it would be quite an isolated life

And the manager allowed this??

I didn't take my kids to pubs/ meals out until I felt they had enough self-regulation not to do this. They were both pretty full-on, active kids so I didn't take them to sit down things like meals out. I just found it less stressful to wait till they had developed enough to be able to enjoy something like this rather than it be an ordeal for everyone.

The fundamental purpose of a pub is for drinking alcohol and socialising

You are a bit stuck in the 1980s. Pubs have moved on a lot. Most pubs need to be family friendly and offer good quality meals to survive as businesses.

The 'adults only drinking only' pubs are less ubiquitous now and people don't tend to take kids to those.

You know, back in the day, it was like that here too

There are things you can do with kids that don't involve running round pubs. There are pubs with play areas, outside spaces etc that would be more suitable for kids who don't want to sit still for the whole of a meal out.

Why should other paying customers - and staff - have their meals disrupted? You wouldn't stand for adults running round screaming, and if kids aren't mature enough to behave, they need to be taken somewhere that's more suitable for them.

@MsRosley @Nanny0gg

The language you guys and I’m sure others on this thread (so don’t take it personally) is awful.
”inflicting” children… “entitled” parents…. “Take them somewhere else” “I would judge”

Yes by and large children should be able to stay put and be well behaved and there are some dreadful examples of parenting out there.

However, as a Mum of a kid with ASD and ADHD, let me tell you he is well disciplined, we make sure he has exercise before, we bring tablet, toys etc.

But sometimes despite everything we do he becomes overstimulated and larks about a bit - it can be something like the lighting or clothing that somebody nearby is wearing. He is also pretty loud as he has partial hearing loss.

My point is my child is well behaved the majority of the time. When he acts up it would be difficult to differentiate him from a poorly behaved NT child - unless you yourself are a parent with a disabled child and can spot it.

I see this frequently in restaurants judgemental, rude and unhelpful people inflicting their behaviour on parents with disabled children. Thankfully they are few and far between and mostly we have support and kindness if any behavioural issues arise.

Just wanted to point this out - that yes you can have poorly behaved children but you can also have disabled children presenting in the same way and parents who need support.

Before anyone says - well you shouldn’t bring them out - you wouldn’t say that to a person in a wheelchair would you?!

What I actually think should happen is that if children are badly behaved and the parents do nothing, the manager/proprietor should tell them to leave.

Yes, that money will be lost but there will be great appreciation from everyone else and they'll probably get busier as a result.

I'm proper old and I was taken out for lunch frequently from when I was very young. Did the same with my children. There was never EVER any disruptive behaviour. And there were no toys, colouring or tablets involved back then either.

One tip though, children do struggle to wait for the food to arrive so order something small - flatbread, roll, whatever. It keeps them occupied and stops them getting grumpy because they're starving

You don't like the term 'inflicting' but then you use it yourself?

It's really obvious that people don't object to children being in the same space just as long as the child's behaviour doesn't impact them. What's wrong about that? I have two children; my children, my responsibility. It's my 'phone time' that is curtailed if I need to be watching them.

As for the running about and causing incidents leading to injury, that's disgusting and inexcusable. I wouldn't imagine it would be a child with SEN doing that either because all the parents I know with children with SEN pay attention. It's the inattentive, entitled parents who allow their children to barrel around and care not for the consequences.

More people should speak up; allowing your child(ren) to impact on other people isn't acceptable. Parents who correct their child, take them out, discipline as needed are not in that category so stop the whataboutery, it's annoying.

I feel like that comment was a joke that went over a lot of heads.

Surely… SURELY!

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe yes I used the word “inflicting” to describe judgemental people to show how it is not nice to use it!

I did vote YANBU as children running around recklessly is dangerous and disruptive.

What I’m getting at is that parents with SEN go to a LOT of effort to handle their children’s behaviour and frequent -supervised - movement breaks can be required… there is a difference between that and little John and Jane running around like lunatics for half an hour. But often people do not differentiate - even if he runs a short distance or we need to take him for a short walk we can get glares - and that is annoying.

He is vastly improved through the years because he was able to experience being in restaurants.

Before anyone says - well you shouldn’t bring them out - you wouldn’t say that to a person in a wheelchair would you?!

A person sitting in a wheelchair doesn't disrupt everyone else's meal and create a hazard. Children running around and screeching do.

Special needs or not though he shouldn’t be running in a restaurant. Yes it may mean going outside more often but it is what it is.

the other issue that sometimes the behaviour that parents allow can make life harder for other people with additional needs so it can have a massive knock on on them too.

@ArmWrestlingWithChasNDave

So autistics, those with Tourette’s, ADHD, Cerebral palsy… any other loud vocalisations etc they should just stay locked at home because they are disruptive to you?

Wow, thank goodness there is an Equality Act!

Nope she would also sue the pub. Suing the parents will get nowhere

Agree with this - we have had incidences in restaurant and in shops where other NT children are acting like loons running around.

It is like the pied piper to son, we have to explain that they are badly behaved and he is not to copy. It can be dangerous as he does not have the same perception of potential dangers/gross motor issues so he is more likely to be hurt.

So autistics, those with Tourette’s, ADHD, Cerebral palsy… any other loud vocalisations etc they should just stay locked at home because they are disruptive to you?

People who run around restaurants screeching shouldn't be in restaurants, no.