Control Your Kids

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Children running around in pubs. Personally I never let mine as you have people walking with drinks and food. The pub I’m in has a massive park opposite, take them there to burn off their excess energy after you’ve finished your meal instead of them zooming past me at 100mph. AIBU?

Yeah.. she poured it over the child 🙄

If the children can't keep bums on seats in pubs/restaurants then they shouldn't be there.

Fine if there's a play area/playground in the garden. But kids of any age should absolutely not be running around places where hot food and alcohol are served.

If your kids can't cope with not running around for the time you're there then you don't take them.

I've left with DS1 many times. As a toddler he had little patience for sociable lingering so we generally ate at places that did not require much patience. If it was part of a bigger group, we'd go with a bag of little toys etc, and then I'd often sit with him in the car or go for a walk outside while we waited for food or people to finish. It turns out that he has additional needs which are a factor. Even as an older child, in the past 6m I've had to leave with him prematurely a couple of times because he's been brewing for a meltdown and it's not fair on anyone involved or in the surroundings to keep him there being wound up.

It's just the packaging of parenting we've been dealt. We also have no babysitters so no nice couple dinners out either.

It's bloody annoying when other people let their children behave disruptively/ dangerously and overshadow the meals that we have that are going well because other parents abdicate from parenting responsibly.

I used to work at Loch Fyne and one day a couple with three kids came in for lunch.

They ordered a lobster platter for two and a bottle of wine, and then the mother told the children to go round the restaurant counting how many fish they could find. (The Loch Fyne logo has three fish on it for a start.)

They caused absolute chaos, loads of mess, only paid for food for two out of the five of them, and left a lousy tip.

Some people are just arseholes and their children's behaviour reflects that.

FFS. People can't defy the laws of gravity when they drop trays of food simply because a child was the cause of the accident. Physics doesn't work like that sweetie.

@AskingforaBaskin fine but by that point they’ve already run off in a restaurant, which could well be a one off but no one would know that and seems in here people are judging against.

When parents continue to ignore their child running around yes would agree that’s not on. However, would disagree that you can stop a child who has potentially been sat down for an hour from getting up/running away from the table as it’s exceeded their tolerance or they’ve spotted something curious. I can’t believe people would be so quick to judge a parent for not being able to stop that happening in the latter situation.

I pour gravy over everyone who gets in my way.

Those fuckers.

Then you retrieve them and leave, or, if you know your kid is likely to act in that way and you don’t feel equipped to control them, you don’t go out to a pub/restaurant in the first place.

I’ve picked up a DC who wouldn’t sit nicely and held them, screaming, outside a pub until they calmed down. Then made it clear DH and I would take turns with them outside, which would be boring and not involve food, if the behaviour happened again.

So no, I don’t think that is impossible to control DC in pubs, and I do think parents should expect to have to sometimes miss their own meal and instead control their young DC, so that those DC can learn how to behave.

YANBU. Children need to learn to sit at the table. Properly , not on the chair with their shoes on the chair etc. a pub/restaurant/cafe etc isn’t a playground.

Oh give over, if you are in a 'discipline rut' don't take them somewhere they shouldn't run around
That sorts that out for everyone

@Dauncets

so presumably these parents are happy for their little brats to get badly burned if they run into someone carrying hot food then? Whether it’s their “best” behaviour or not doesn’t make it any less dangerous or annoying.

if your kids can’t grasp that they need to sit at the table and not run around then the parents shouldn’t take them to a restaurant.

I got the joke - made me laugh after a long day, thank you.

To the OP, YANBU. My almost 4 yo DD, we rarely take out to pubs and restaurants, as she is on the spectrum and only ever has one particular walking speed - which is to run. She cannot really be disciplined traditionally currently so we just don't expose her to those environments - its stressful for us too.

This. I honestly can't understand that it is even a question.

naturally impulsive kid. Do they also get described as spirited on their school reports…

Discipline rut = bollocks. They behave or they go outside.

Not unreasonable at all. If 2 year old DS is getting twitchy or loud, he’s taken outside with one of us (if waiting for food) or taken home (if we’ve finished eating). Running round in a pub serving food and where other people are trying to relax isn’t on at all.

YANBU

I've worked in restaurants and kitchens for several years and you wouldn't believe some of the stuff I've seen. On more than one occasion I've been cooking away and turned round to find a small child actually IN the kitchen. When I've taken them into the restaurant looking for the parents, they haven't had a clue where there kids have been. I explained to one lady where their child has been and how dangerous it is and the said to me "calm down love, they're only being nosey"!!

I cannot stress how dangerous it is. We send out piping hot food on hot plates, like PPs experience above, this isn't a safe environment for kids to be charging round in.

If nothing else, it's bloody hard work doing those jobs and even harder when you've to navigate a herd of children with no spacial awareness.

Then you don’t go out. I have one child who will sit at a table good as gold and one who is much less likely to. If he starts to run around we leave. It’s actually bizarre that you’re suggesting it’s ok for a child to behave dangerously in this way

😂😂😂 got to the third comment from AccessibleVoid and I just had to post- haven’t read everything yet.
Go to somewhere that doesn’t have kids? A pub is the most adult place you can go to!
Absolutely so ridiculous that someone would expect a kid running around a pub to be ok!
Apart from the health and safety aspect (which is huge- and the people who think it’s fine for their children to run in an establishment that sells food and hot drinks, are probably the ones who think it’s fine to sue if their kids get hurt 🙄) children should behave in places they go- as should adults.
Yes- your life should be put on hold if you can’t expect that the company you keep won’t behave! Mine did for a long time- because I did have disruptive children that didn’t behave when we were cooped up going out for dinner etc.
So we adjusted- and went to outdoor spaces so they could run off steam, had take away’s and hired babysitters!
I can’t believe that anyone is so entitled that they think their child, running around a pub or restaurant, is fine!

There's the wider problem of parents not controlling their kids - wherever they are.
I read a post about using reins to stop kids running around/away. Eminently sensible, but someone said it was against their "human rights".
Ermm ... stops them getting killed or injured

I couldn't agree more OP. I'm childfree and have stopped going to many local pubs and restaurants because of the unruliness of the children there.

It's a pub! The most adult of environments.

I disagree - not going to a pub (as your children run riot) is hardly putting your life on hold

And the pub is there for adults and not a soft play pen!