Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fed up about the woman in local shop being so rude to me?

202 replies

LimeDietCokeIsLife · 16/05/2022 12:56

There is a branch of a convenience store very near my house. Literally 30 seconds' walk away. I regularly go there because its so near.

One woman in there has, for whatever reason, taken a dislike to me and is very nice and lovely to others whilst I'm in there and then rude to me. I have absolutely no idea why she does not like me, nor do I care that she doesn't like me. However, I do not want to be treated rudely when I'm in there.

She never acknowledges me or says thank you to me, or ever even the cost, just holds the card machine out to me and rolls her eyes. If she is at a till and I arrive at the front of the queue she will just sometimes walk off. Sometimes there will be a second till open but other times there will not be and I'll have to either wait for her to come back and serve me (rudely!) or find someone else in the shop and tell them there's no one at a till! I have been in a few times and there have been three of them at the tills and one has served me, and nasty woman has then started whispering to the other staff member. Sometimes she hides her face behind something and I've heard the other staff member whisper 'What?' so she's obviously whispering shit to them. She is really lovely and chatty to other customers, so it's clearly me!

I did once phone the head office of said chain of convenience stores and they said it wouldn't happen again and would be dealt with. But clearly that did not work!

I could go elsewhere but I don't see why I should have to. The other staff in there are very polite and nice. And I'm always polite.

AIBU to be fed up of this?

OP posts:
BreakorMake · 17/05/2022 20:25

"How much do they pay you to be rude Mrs?"

jewishmum · 17/05/2022 21:21

KittenKong · 17/05/2022 18:35

I worked with someone like that. Absolute batrag to me - refused to order coffee when I had meetings (it was her flipping job), bitched about me behind my back (my clothes, my accent…).

When I was actually leaving she realised that I wasn’t horrible/a cow.she was even nice to me.

She admitted that she had taken a dislike to me because… at my interview I had my hair pinned up in a French roll and she thought I ‘looked like a teacher’. (Actually I have alopecia and my fine hair looked like shit, I had a small child and hand t had a haircut in about three years and looked like Mad Cat Lady when it was let lose).

Absolutely bonkers. She is lucky I’m a nice person - or I would have told the partners the (anti Semitic) things she used to say about them.

I wish you would have, I tend to see allowing the act to go unchallenged as being complicit in the act.

SarahJane83 · 17/05/2022 21:27

Next time you go in there and she does this to you, ask her what her f-ing problem is. Do it front of the other and staff and customers too. Don’t let her off lightly. You don’t have to take this OP. Stand up for yourself. Good luck.

zombie0037 · 17/05/2022 21:37

Unfortunately not everyone is gonna like you, she not really an important part of your life, go in there buy your stuff and leave and get on with your day, surely you got more Important things to do, that what I would do.

northernsquirrel · 17/05/2022 22:08

I'm sure this exact same thing was posted a while back

Blinky21 · 17/05/2022 22:16

Ask her loudly but politely in front of other customers why she is being rude, I think this kind of behaviour should be called out

MummyMayo1988 · 17/05/2022 23:05

I would ask outright what the heck her problem is. Then I'd ask for her full name so I can report her. I'd finish with; I hope you get the sack.

GeorgiaLove · 17/05/2022 23:06

Istherehopeforme · 16/05/2022 13:06

Yanbu just call her out... I know it’s intimidating but something like “ sorry is there a problem? You are doing a b c and I’m wondering what’s happened for you to be so rude to me” You need to call her out!!!

This. Put her on her toes, don't let your voice waver, face her down.

GeorgiaLove · 17/05/2022 23:10

This. Put her on her toes, don't let your voice waver, face her down.

Best of luck.

And if that doesn't work, don't forget to follow through with your elbow 😉

PyongyangKipperbang · 17/05/2022 23:47

Always ask for a receipt. Most of them now have a feedback thingy on them, so provide it EVERY SINGLE TIME. In fact I would make a point of saying "Oh I need a receipt........good to be able to give feedback on customer service isnt it?!" with a nice big smile. They cannot ignore every single complaint, espcially if it isnt just you, hand the receipts to your friends and family that you dont share a name with and get them to do it too!

PyongyangKipperbang · 17/05/2022 23:48

Actually, forget what I said about telling her about the feedback, just do it. Then she cant claim that you have a vendetta, even though you have but thats only because she started it!

Miisty · 18/05/2022 06:57

Get this with a pharmacist assistant in our chemist .Everytime I get a dig from her.Seems to treat this old as having no brains Ordered my medicine same time as husband his was ready said mine wasn’t (checked by phone told both were)Got told who told you yours were ready said a colleague Worked with many pharmacist going to complain soon

justfiveminutes · 18/05/2022 07:26

I wish all the pp saying to complain to the manager or threaten to write to head office, had seen that op has already complained to head office about her.

KatherineJaneway · 18/05/2022 09:09

justfiveminutes · 18/05/2022 07:26

I wish all the pp saying to complain to the manager or threaten to write to head office, had seen that op has already complained to head office about her.

Yes I saw that but writing to head office but that is different than a face to face conversation with the manager in the shop itself. If the manager did have a word, they might this it is all resolved now. Talking to them again to say the issue is persisting is a way to move this forwards.

NeneValleyGirl · 18/05/2022 09:22

‘I did once phone the head office of said chain of convenience stores and they said it wouldn't happen again and would be dealt with. But clearly that did not work!‘

This is possibly why she’s still acting rude around you, because you complained about her.

What caused it isn’t worth thinking about. You may look like the OW who stole her husband, or someone she went to school with, mistaken identity, or she’s seen you putting your bins out uncouth slippers Grin

Ignore them, or say something like, ‘I hear you’re being transferred because customers are complaining about your attitude’. Well, in my head I might think that but I couldn’t actually do it!

newbiename · 18/05/2022 09:50

Orgasmagorical · 16/05/2022 13:10

If it were me and I didn't want to shop elsewhere I'd ask her what I'd done to offend her, very calmly. If she said nothing I'd ask her why she behaves the way she does towards me. I couldn't be doing with that sort of shit.

Exactly this.

Abricot1993 · 18/05/2022 15:10

Next time ask her if she is on mumsnet or knows of it. Then give her a piece of paper with this link on it and say she might be interested in this: and write the link to the thread out including the title

Iamsosadijustwantout · 18/05/2022 15:56

Oh I hate this! Turn it back on her! If you are in a que and you are next to be served by her, say to the person behind you (VERY LOUDLY) you go next as I don't want her to serve me! Don't say good morning or thank you! Why should you? Plonk the cash on the counter and snatch your items from her.. why should you be nice when she acts like a cow! I work in retail and if it wasn't for the customers I wouldn't have a job!

Ddot · 19/05/2022 10:05

Empty your piggy bank of copper and pay with it everytime she is rude

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 19/05/2022 11:37

This is one of those cases where it would be helpful if the Daily Mail could pick up 😁

OutOntheTilez · 19/05/2022 12:12

Empty your piggy bank of copper and pay with it everytime she is rude.

Exactly this. It reminds me of the time years ago when my husband came home from buying a couple of items at the grocery store and told me the cashier got angry at him because he didn’t have any pennies when paying cash. I asked him which cashier it was and he refused to tell me because he knew I’d do something. We have a huge jar of pennies and my plan was to buy stuff for some random number like $3.89 and pay entirely in pennies – miscounting halfway through, of course.

OutOntheTilez · 19/05/2022 12:14

OP, next time, say to her (loudly, so all can hear), “Well, you LOOK older, but when I’m around you act like you’re 12. Whispering to your coworkers, rolling your eyes at me, walking away from the till, pulling a face. Are we in middle school? I’m very curious to know what I’ve done to offend you. If you can’t enlighten me, then perhaps your superiors can. I’ll be taking it up with them.” Then stand there and stare at her.

And use “superiors” to remind her that she’s nothing special.

BorderFarce · 20/05/2022 16:48

I had a situation like this once, not in a shop, but in an exercise class. One particular "lady" who I hardly knew or had interacted with, but had mutually friends first started being very cool and offish and then one day, when I said hello she railed around and, pointing her finger right up in her face, shouted "Don't talk to me. You're rude, insipid (???) and need to think before you speak"... in front of the whole class.
I was confounded, I had only ever been nice to her and never spoken about her to anyone.
Anyway, I took a second to compose myself as she stomped off, and went back up to her saying something along the lines of:
" I have no idea why you said that to me and I have no idea how I may have offended you. But if I have done so, perhaps we can discuss it and you can give me the opportunity to apologise if I need to".
Her response, again in front of everyone was a "talk to the hand" gesture, again right in my face and another "Don't talk to me".
I feel I won that discourse as she demonstrated in front of anyone how unreasonable she was. As she huffed and stomped away, I was met with a raft of sympathetic eye rolls from onlookers.
The "lady" was clearly unhinged. She was close friends with the instructor, (who did nothing to intervene despite witnessing it all) so I made the decision to find another class where abuse would not be tolerated, and an instructor deserved my money. I had previously been friends with the instructor too but despite my asking if she could clue me in, I was greeted with "nothing to do with me". So her loss.
Looking back, a small clique had formed following the arrival of a newcomer who announced herself "bestie" of the instructor. I suspect I was seen as a threat and unfounded rumours were spread.
I still see the aggy bitch in the supermarket on occasion and she glares at me. So I just grin back, whisper "fuck off" under my breath and get on with my day, trusting karma will bite her on the arse in the end.

DoYouWantDecking · 29/05/2022 08:41

@LimeDietCokeIsLife have you been back and challenged her?

twilightcafe · 29/05/2022 08:45

I voted YABU - just ask her WHY she's talking to you like that. And/or take your custom elsewhere

Swipe left for the next trending thread