To be fed up about the woman in local shop being so rude to me?

[LimeDietCokeIsLife]

There is a branch of a convenience store very near my house. Literally 30 seconds' walk away. I regularly go there because its so near.

One woman in there has, for whatever reason, taken a dislike to me and is very nice and lovely to others whilst I'm in there and then rude to me. I have absolutely no idea why she does not like me, nor do I care that she doesn't like me. However, I do not want to be treated rudely when I'm in there.

She never acknowledges me or says thank you to me, or ever even the cost, just holds the card machine out to me and rolls her eyes. If she is at a till and I arrive at the front of the queue she will just sometimes walk off. Sometimes there will be a second till open but other times there will not be and I'll have to either wait for her to come back and serve me (rudely!) or find someone else in the shop and tell them there's no one at a till! I have been in a few times and there have been three of them at the tills and one has served me, and nasty woman has then started whispering to the other staff member. Sometimes she hides her face behind something and I've heard the other staff member whisper 'What?' so she's obviously whispering shit to them. She is really lovely and chatty to other customers, so it's clearly me!

I did once phone the head office of said chain of convenience stores and they said it wouldn't happen again and would be dealt with. But clearly that did not work!

I could go elsewhere but I don't see why I should have to. The other staff in there are very polite and nice. And I'm always polite.

AIBU to be fed up of this?

I'd probably have to practice this in my head but I'd go in and ask her..

"Do we actually know each other? You avoid serving me as though I have done something awful to you and yet, other than seeing you in here, I don't know who you are. So what is happening here?"

And when she tries to deflect, laugh and say "Come on, we both know that isn't true, what is up? Why do you always act as though I am Vlad the Impaler?"

Keep on asking... ask other staff members, ask the manager. Keep on asking if her behaviour is considered normal. You don't have much to lose. You can barely shop in there as it is!

The guy who works in my local
post office in Birkenhead is like this but he makes very strange comments ONLY to women. He’s a total odd ball that apparently people just tolerate. I complained to head office once and nothing was done so I just don’t go in there

You could call her out on it. However she is there in a public facing role and I suspect her manager has expectations of her treating all customers politely. Maybe an online review (google etc) might be worth a try- disguise your name.

I would be expected to treat any if my colleagues respectfully, regardless of what I thought of them.

I hadn't read the whole thread, just the first page, and was truly baffled by the idea that someone would literally travel to another town just because someone grumpy works in a shop 😕

No victim blaming here. Just... why would you even give a shit?

Do this please

i’ve worked with people like this. You call them out, calmly, in the moment.

samphire

this is even worse 🤦🏾‍♀️

Well for 1 reporting it to head office probably made it worse, also she may have been told not to serve you, I know when I got into shit with a customer she claimed I wasn't friendly with her yet I never even spoke more then once to her I was told to stay away and nearly lost my job, if I remember rightly it was over something not being available, I had just said its sold out that it and had hell because she was a entitled brat

Me neither, I'll never understand this "kill them with kindness" bollocks, why would anyone go out of their way to be nice to a total bell end is beyond me....I know why some people do it before anyone asks, I just don't think rude dickheads deserve any time or head space.

I had this happen to me in a McColls. I just snarled back at her. I give good dirty looks so we'd both just be scowling at each other. It used to put quite the spring in my step actually haha.

I was disappointed when a new woman took over and she was lovely.

I was disappointed when a new woman took over and she was lovely.
😂😂😂

If she walks off when it's your turn to be served, ask for the manager.

If she does anything else overtly and obviously rude, ask for the manager

This is what I would do. A brisk no nonsense transaction, no attempted pleasantries or eye contact, pay up and out the door. I know it’s frustrating when you come across this kind of thing (personal experience) but I find it easy to blank someone and act like they don’t exist when they repeatedly treat me disrespectfully. I used to dread passing the mum on the street but I’d avert my eyes and walk straight past after numerous previous attempts at being cordial.

Because people (male and female ) that have experienced abuse and, or bullying might not find it easy to assert themselves and challenge rude behaviour. Good for you if you can.
In fact bully types usually have a good sense of who will and who won't tell them to fuck off, the cashier tested the boundaries the first time she was rude and her behaviour went unchallenged and so they escalate it, walking away, eye rolling. Which makes me wonder if this is the case for the op.

I’ve seen this happen in the store near me. Loads of staff, all but one are very nice. This woman is rude to people seemingly indiscriminately. I’ve seen her be gushingly friendly to some and ridiculously rude to others. Luckily for me, I fall somewhere in between and she is neutral towards me (I am polite to her).

I actually heard someone (another customer) say to her “oh my god what a fucking attitude problem”. And I thought yes, she really has got one! She was difficult and rude to him first but he called her out, rudely! Guess she met her match.

you should prob ignore her.

"I think you've mistaken me for someone else. You always act like I've mortally offended you, but I don't think that's possible as we've never actually met outside of this shop."

There was a lovely bakery across the road from my old house, it was great because you could go there and get their gorgeous fresh bread every day. Should have been brilliant but the woman who worked there was soooo rude - specifically though only to me and DP.

We would join the queue and see her beaming at other customers and having lovely chats just like a small village bakery should. Then it would come to my turn. She’d turn around, get the loaf or whatever I’d asked for and then virtually bark: “Fifty.” (50p) No please, no nothing and she’d hold her hand out in a really surly way. No thank you for the money. No eye contact. Zilch. Rien.

Baffling. DP and I used to rather enjoy regaling ourselves with tales of her outrageous rude behaviour depending on which of us had been to get the cobs that day.

Indeed, barking “FIFTY” is something of a catchphrase in our family if you think someone is being exceptionally rude, and we all know exactly what’s meant.

@beeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Because people (male and female ) that have experienced abuse and, or bullying might not find it easy to assert themselves and challenge rude behaviour. Good for you if you can. In fact bully types usually have a good sense of who will and who won't tell them to fuck off, the cashier tested the boundaries the first time she was rude and her behaviour went unchallenged and so they escalate it, walking away, eye rolling. Which makes me wonder if this is the case for the op.

You don't have to 'challenge' it.

You don't have to 'tell them to fuck off'.

You can just go in, buy your stuff, and leave. Who gives a fuck if the person serving you in Co-op is rude? It just does not matter, at all. It's not like they are being accused of shoplifting (has happened to me) or racially abused (has also happened to me) - genuinely upsetting, traumatising events. It's literally just someone being a bit arsey. SFW.

I agree with posters who suggest a word with the manager. I would go in next time and ask very sweetly if the manager could spare you a few minutes - I bet she will be thinking omg I have gone too far. Then tell him clearly what has been going on and you would like it to stop.

Me neither.

I think Americans can do the sarcastic extra nice thing but it doesn't work here in the UK.

@CorpseReviver

Except that isn't the suggested response of the poster I was responding to.

"Hello - shop! Customer needing to be checked out! HELLO! Everybody can SEE you are ignoring me again. Do you want to serve me, or do you prefer me to call your head office & get them to explain your job description to you?"
And if you do need to contact head office again, be more rigorous.
"It won't happen again" is bullshit.
You want names, an action plan, a report back to you with the result of that action plan, & an apology.
If it doesn't happen - you follow up again.

I

I never said it is always racially motivated. I just asked if it could be a possibility. It can often a reason why people are rude when there is no other obvious explanation.

In America she could probably just say ‘Bless your heart’ to the worker and she’d get the message judging from what I’ve read about that saying.