To be fed up about the woman in local shop being so rude to me?

[LimeDietCokeIsLife]

There is a branch of a convenience store very near my house. Literally 30 seconds' walk away. I regularly go there because its so near.

One woman in there has, for whatever reason, taken a dislike to me and is very nice and lovely to others whilst I'm in there and then rude to me. I have absolutely no idea why she does not like me, nor do I care that she doesn't like me. However, I do not want to be treated rudely when I'm in there.

She never acknowledges me or says thank you to me, or ever even the cost, just holds the card machine out to me and rolls her eyes. If she is at a till and I arrive at the front of the queue she will just sometimes walk off. Sometimes there will be a second till open but other times there will not be and I'll have to either wait for her to come back and serve me (rudely!) or find someone else in the shop and tell them there's no one at a till! I have been in a few times and there have been three of them at the tills and one has served me, and nasty woman has then started whispering to the other staff member. Sometimes she hides her face behind something and I've heard the other staff member whisper 'What?' so she's obviously whispering shit to them. She is really lovely and chatty to other customers, so it's clearly me!

I did once phone the head office of said chain of convenience stores and they said it wouldn't happen again and would be dealt with. But clearly that did not work!

I could go elsewhere but I don't see why I should have to. The other staff in there are very polite and nice. And I'm always polite.

AIBU to be fed up of this?

Maybe you murdered her in a former life? ha ha, you should ask her this. If there genuinely is no reason for her to be unpleasant then you need to speak to her manager. Next time ask her to fetch her manager.

@LimeDietCokeIsLife I had the exact same experience with my nearest local shop. Overall the staff are absolutely lovely, they really are. But there was one woman who was always rude to me.
She looked at a note I handed her one time, as though it was a dogshit I had placed in her hand. She would literally switch from all smiles to her previous customer to a scowl when I approached.
I could only conclude that she was mixing me up with someone who HAD done something to upset her.
She doesn't work there anymore - this has nothing to do with me though 😂

Best suggestion so far. On the rare occasions it's happened to me it's the line I've used and I've found it very effective

Nah.. no questions no smiles no thing. Next time just tell her to behave herself when serving you.

say you are always rude to me, I think you are confusing me with someone else. As I’m lovely!

My mother had the same thing happen to her and she had no idea what caused it. As she is the nicest person I know and everyone else likes her, I can’t imagine what this one cow at the local shop problem was. Some people are just arseholes who take offence where none was given. I think you should complain again and explain exactly how this person acts for no known reason and say it’s totally unprofessional and unpleasant.

I would ask her next time what her problem is and why she is so damn rude to you. Take down her name and complain again to a manager in store firstly then head office. Completely unacceptable

You say the other staff in the shop are lovely and it sounds like you have alternatives to shopping there so why not make it obvious that you are disappointed to see her at the till, turn around and walk out? Whenever someone else is working there, stay and be extra friendly. May not be the most mature approach, but would be so satisfying!

If you live so close, could it be a parking issue? Maybe she’s parked it your drive and you left a note?

But agree with pp that most sensible thing is to confront/ complain again

I had this with my local coop but it was the security guard, he seemed to take a disliking to me, he went out of his way to pick on me stuff like following me round the shop (I’ve never stolen in my life) then once I was looking at some sandwiches to check the ingredients (dietary requirements) and he told me not to touch anything if I wasn’t going to buy it?! This was before covid so that certainly wasn’t the excuse, I have stopped going in there now which is annoying as it was my local shop so now have to get the bus if ever I just need some bread/milk but I now refuse to go in there now, and all the people saying you must have previously done something really? 🙄

I’ve also had something similar myself with a member of staff at my sons old school, who also got another unpleasant creature in on the act and they were both thoroughly unpleasant and abrupt, stared aggressively or totally blanked me, for no reason I could fathom. It was really upsetting so I confronted the one it started with and said if there was something I had done to upset her I was sorry, but had no idea what it was. Of course she denied there was any problem and then continued to behave in the same unpleasant manner, so that didn’t work.

@KettrickenSmiled
Wow..ok I found your effing comment rude.
You know nothing about anyone's life, I was in an abusive relationship at the time, my conference was at an all time low, I had no more space for anymore hatred in my life. Is that ok with you ?
Unbelievable

Just ask her what the fuck her problem is

@LanaGardner then I am glad you felt able to speak up & correct me, & doubly glad that you have escaped your abusive relationship 😀

btw - I very deliberately didn't mention any specific poster in my comment. Just amazed at the volume of PP's who allowed themselves to be inconvenienced by rudeness that it is entirely possible to address & counter.

Because it often irritates the shit out of the rude individual.

When someone is being outrageously rude and unpleasant, it's generally trying to provoke a reaction or at least a negative feeling from the person they're bullying.

Some of them seem to find it enormously infuriating to be met with total cheerful imperviousness.

I had this when I first moved to the place where I live now. Funnily enough it was a Co-op also as PP have mentioned. It wasn’t just one member of staff it was all of them! They only spoke and were friendly to the locals then treated me like shit as an incomer. A new Asda store opened nearby. It triggered big changes in the type of stock and running of the local Co-op. They had a big clear out of the horrible staff. Many locals were saying they would no longer use the Co-op as the ‘poor’ staff had been treated badly (in other words made to do their job correctly). I loved it ! Great staff there now who treat everyone nicely. Funnily enough no locals carried out their threatened boycott. Challenge her OP ask what her problem with you is,make her squirm!

I think this is a good plan. You must want to know what it is! (I do!!!)

I agree it’s rude, I couldn’t be bothered to keep going into a place where someone kept being nasty to me, I would rather just shop elsewhere as it happens in my case I did complain about the security guard to the manager but he still continued and I didn’t want to continue to shop in a place where I kept being targeted. I now go to my local Tesco’s instead where I never have any issues.

Why not ask to speak to the manager next time you are in? Best way to get her nastiness curtailed.

Oh man I would not be able to resist having it out - how have you?!

I would go in when the shop was quite busy, and when she was rude, I'd say very friendly-like, but very loudly, 'Sorry, have I done something to offend you?" She will splutter and mumble, and you will say in a cheerful yet absolutely confident and ringing voice: "Okay, that's odd, because you rolled your eyes/ignored me again/tutted at me again. I come in here very often and am never anything but polite and friendly, and yet you are always very rude, and I often see you whispering about me to the other staff. It's very upsetting, as you can imagine, and I'd like to know why you are like this?"
And so on.

Like squeezing a blackhead, very satisfying.

Could you of gone to school with one of her children?
So being nice to her and don't talk to her

I had something similar with the woman in our local newsagents when l was first married. I'd never been anything but polite and friendly, but she was very offhand with me. And if l went in when her 'friend' was there, she'd stand and very obviously look me up and down while l got served.
Unfortunately it was a privately owned shop, so no chance of anything being done about it.
I'd keep complaining to head office. It's totally unacceptable behaviour. And l speak as someone who works in retail.

Whether she likes loves hates or detest you is not the point.
She should treat you with same courtesy she seems to treat everyone else with. There are people I'm not particularly in love with but respect and manners and welcoming attitude cost absolutely nothing. Also as I've alluded to she has no difficulty in doing this with other people so No one can pull the 'Its just her way, card'
You're a paying customer that helps to keep her a job
. I'd be speaking to the Manager.

Some people are just arseholes. I suggest politely asking her why she’s being rude to you in earshot of other customers