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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fed up about the woman in local shop being so rude to me?

202 replies

LimeDietCokeIsLife · 16/05/2022 12:56

There is a branch of a convenience store very near my house. Literally 30 seconds' walk away. I regularly go there because its so near.

One woman in there has, for whatever reason, taken a dislike to me and is very nice and lovely to others whilst I'm in there and then rude to me. I have absolutely no idea why she does not like me, nor do I care that she doesn't like me. However, I do not want to be treated rudely when I'm in there.

She never acknowledges me or says thank you to me, or ever even the cost, just holds the card machine out to me and rolls her eyes. If she is at a till and I arrive at the front of the queue she will just sometimes walk off. Sometimes there will be a second till open but other times there will not be and I'll have to either wait for her to come back and serve me (rudely!) or find someone else in the shop and tell them there's no one at a till! I have been in a few times and there have been three of them at the tills and one has served me, and nasty woman has then started whispering to the other staff member. Sometimes she hides her face behind something and I've heard the other staff member whisper 'What?' so she's obviously whispering shit to them. She is really lovely and chatty to other customers, so it's clearly me!

I did once phone the head office of said chain of convenience stores and they said it wouldn't happen again and would be dealt with. But clearly that did not work!

I could go elsewhere but I don't see why I should have to. The other staff in there are very polite and nice. And I'm always polite.

AIBU to be fed up of this?

OP posts:
Basilbrushgotfat · 16/05/2022 17:52

What a bitch!

Call her out on it, maybe take a friend for moral support

ElsieMc · 16/05/2022 18:00

Same here and the Co-op yet again. What is it about this company that allows rude and bullying staff to carry on unchecked. I did complain and they sent me a voucher telling me it was unacceptable but she is still there and whilst not as rude within ear shot of others is very offhand and unhelpful. I maybe go in once a year now.

Sadly people can take against you for no reason. When I was young, I worked in a firm of solicitors. My colleague was just horrible to me. Made it clear she hated me and I felt excluded and sad. We went out for a work do and she denigrated and mocked me in front of other staff. I went to the Job centre on the way back.

Wavygravy1 · 16/05/2022 18:03

I’d ask her if she can get her manager for you so you can complain about her!

Lunificent · 16/05/2022 18:12

I would go in to speak to the manager with a list of the unprofessional things she’s done e.g. the whispering, putting the receipt down rather than giving it etc. I would also ring head office again and explain that there’s been no change.
I would do reviews on Google, Tripadvisor etc with specific descriptions of the rudeness and the response from head office. I would also detail the company’s unsatisfactory response on their Twitter feed.
Leave no stone unturned. You have nothing to lose.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 16/05/2022 18:13

Pipsquiggle · 16/05/2022 14:21

OK I have worked in lots of shops.

Some customers are just very mardy looking (resting b!tch face types) and it's very hard to build up a rapport with them. Over time I used to ask how they were, talk about the weather etc and things became a lot less frosty. Do you come across as open or closed?

If you want things to improve, she is obviously not going to do it, you need to ask her some inconsequential questions like the above.

Or decide she's not worth it, as she sounds horrible.

So what if OP has resting bitch face (not saying she does!). That doesn’t justify the rudeness from the shop assistant

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 16/05/2022 18:21

@LimeDietCokeIsLife - maybe speak with the other assistants (when rude woman is away) to see what the problem is ? Sounds really crap & unnerving

LightSpeeds · 16/05/2022 18:32

Ask her confidently and calmly for her name. Hopefully, this will be enough of a hint that you're going to make a direct complaint about her (or ask to speak to the mnager of the store).

Don't put up with this evil woman...

FelixDoublyDelicious · 16/05/2022 18:34

OMG, I have the same in my local Costcutter

I am always nice and polite and I smile, but the women in there cannot bear to touch the money that I give them and they don't even smile.

They are completely different to every other person they serve before me

I am customer not a rude whippersnapper (56)

TheYearOfSmallThings · 16/05/2022 18:48

I also can't understand how so many PP just accept rudeness by slinking off

There is no slinking - I just won't give them my money. If my local takeaway had shit food, I wouldn't feel any need to find out why their food is shit, I just wouldn't go there. If my nearest pub was dirty, I wouldn't go in and discuss their hygiene issues with them, I just wouldn't go there. And if a local shop has terrible service (including rude staff), I wouldn't feel the need to find out what is wrong with them, I just wouldn't shop there.

None of their problems are my problems, and there are plenty of other businesses.

KettrickenSmiled · 16/05/2022 18:52

One of them slunk as far as the next town over, @TheYearOfSmallThings.
Why inconvenience yourself to that extent, when you can choose to either ignore the behaviour, or challenge it in any one of the ways so many PP have suggested?

CorpseReviver · 16/05/2022 18:54

beeeeeeeeeeeeeeee · 16/05/2022 17:40

@CorpseReviver

Except that isn't the suggested response of the poster I was responding to.

"Hello - shop! Customer needing to be checked out! HELLO! Everybody can SEE you are ignoring me again. Do you want to serve me, or do you prefer me to call your head office & get them to explain your job description to you?"
And if you do need to contact head office again, be more rigorous.
"It won't happen again" is bullshit.
You want names, an action plan, a report back to you with the result of that action plan, & an apology.
If it doesn't happen - you follow up again.

I

Ok, but the poster I was responding to said that they travel to ANOTHER TOWN rather than go into the shop if they see the rude/offhand member of staff.

Which is what I was questioning.

Because surely that's cutting off your nose to spite your face.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 16/05/2022 19:02

Why inconvenience yourself to that extent, when you can choose to either ignore the behaviour, or challenge it in any one of the ways so many PP have suggested?

I have never lived in a place where it would be any inconvenience at all to shop elsewhere. And I have seen plenty of businesses close because people just took their money next door where the service was better.

I would no more waste my time arguing with a stroppy shop assistant than I would engage with some idiot whistling or shouting abuse from a car.

KettrickenSmiled · 16/05/2022 19:10

That's nice for you @TheYearOfSmallThings

But OP has asked how to deal with her situation, as she likes the fact that the shop in question is only 30 seconds from her house.

Idbemonica1 · 16/05/2022 19:21

Wonder if OP is coming back?
Perhaps she is still queueing!

Funkyslippers · 17/05/2022 11:15

TheYearOfSmallThings this is different though. The behaviour of the woman in the shop towards the OP is personal. I'd definitely be calling her out on it, in a polite way

SeventyNineBottlesOfWine · 17/05/2022 11:20

Do you live near me OP!? I have the exact same problem with a woman in the shop near to me, your description of her matches the one who works in the shop I use! She's extraordinarily rude and unpleasant to me whenever I go in! I've also complained to head office about her!
The shop's name doesn't start with an S does it!?

Marvellousmadness · 17/05/2022 11:23

I would leave a bad review on google
and a review of your experience on their public post of facebook

arethereanyleftatall · 17/05/2022 11:27

TheYearOfSmallThings · 16/05/2022 18:48

I also can't understand how so many PP just accept rudeness by slinking off

There is no slinking - I just won't give them my money. If my local takeaway had shit food, I wouldn't feel any need to find out why their food is shit, I just wouldn't go there. If my nearest pub was dirty, I wouldn't go in and discuss their hygiene issues with them, I just wouldn't go there. And if a local shop has terrible service (including rude staff), I wouldn't feel the need to find out what is wrong with them, I just wouldn't shop there.

None of their problems are my problems, and there are plenty of other businesses.

The person working on the checkout can't give a shit if you don't give them your money. In fact, they'd prefer it, one less customer to serve. Makes no odds to their pay packet.

Laiste · 17/05/2022 11:33

I wonder where the OP is?

I hope (due to our encouragement to not take any shit) she didn't go in there yesterday afternoon in a frenzy, pelted the cashier with tins of beans and has spent the night behind bars 😂

Laiste · 17/05/2022 11:39

I must say - it's nice if you have a lot of choice to just shop elsewhere just as easy to access. But bare in mind that lots of folk don't have that option.

I live in a village and we have a co-op. It's a life line for so many. Some members of the community cannot shop anywhere else. Nearest other shop is a 15/20 drive away AND our local bus service has just been bloody cancelled!

Luckily as far as i know there aren't any grumpy cunts working in our co-op 😜

saveforthat · 17/05/2022 11:46

I could have written this post except it's a man and not the coop. Really nice to everyone else except me. I still go in every day to buy a newspaper as it's convenient and he has improved slightly but still very cool.

ladytessa · 17/05/2022 11:57

What did she say when you asked her why she is treating you this way?

boronia · 17/05/2022 12:56

Always go to the other staff if they're available, even if you have to queue up.
Be exceptionally friendly and polite to them and ignore and avoid the rude one.
If she walks off when you need to be served, call her back loudly.
Don't say anything except thank you if she serves you.

CoralBells · 17/05/2022 13:12

Could she be mistaking you for someone else or think your dc bullied her grandkid?

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 17/05/2022 16:23

Oh the temptation to be soo unfeasibly polite and piss her off at the same time ...

Go to her till if there's a locked cigarette kiosk.
"Can I have 10 JPS?"
Unlikeable Woman unlocks kiosk gets out box , locks kiosk
"Ah no , better take another box"
UW unlocks kiosk , gets another out
"Actually is it cheaper to but 20 than 2x10?"
UW looks up price and has to say "Yes"
"I'll swap for the 20" Smile
UW unlocks kiosk , swaps 2x10 for 20
"Ah , second thoughts, I'd best not . I;ll have this gum"

Then leave with the parting shot See You Next Tuesday then Mabel (C-U-N-T)

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