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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fed up about the woman in local shop being so rude to me?

202 replies

LimeDietCokeIsLife · 16/05/2022 12:56

There is a branch of a convenience store very near my house. Literally 30 seconds' walk away. I regularly go there because its so near.

One woman in there has, for whatever reason, taken a dislike to me and is very nice and lovely to others whilst I'm in there and then rude to me. I have absolutely no idea why she does not like me, nor do I care that she doesn't like me. However, I do not want to be treated rudely when I'm in there.

She never acknowledges me or says thank you to me, or ever even the cost, just holds the card machine out to me and rolls her eyes. If she is at a till and I arrive at the front of the queue she will just sometimes walk off. Sometimes there will be a second till open but other times there will not be and I'll have to either wait for her to come back and serve me (rudely!) or find someone else in the shop and tell them there's no one at a till! I have been in a few times and there have been three of them at the tills and one has served me, and nasty woman has then started whispering to the other staff member. Sometimes she hides her face behind something and I've heard the other staff member whisper 'What?' so she's obviously whispering shit to them. She is really lovely and chatty to other customers, so it's clearly me!

I did once phone the head office of said chain of convenience stores and they said it wouldn't happen again and would be dealt with. But clearly that did not work!

I could go elsewhere but I don't see why I should have to. The other staff in there are very polite and nice. And I'm always polite.

AIBU to be fed up of this?

OP posts:
EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 17/05/2022 16:36

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 17/05/2022 16:23

Oh the temptation to be soo unfeasibly polite and piss her off at the same time ...

Go to her till if there's a locked cigarette kiosk.
"Can I have 10 JPS?"
Unlikeable Woman unlocks kiosk gets out box , locks kiosk
"Ah no , better take another box"
UW unlocks kiosk , gets another out
"Actually is it cheaper to but 20 than 2x10?"
UW looks up price and has to say "Yes"
"I'll swap for the 20" Smile
UW unlocks kiosk , swaps 2x10 for 20
"Ah , second thoughts, I'd best not . I;ll have this gum"

Then leave with the parting shot See You Next Tuesday then Mabel (C-U-N-T)

God I wish they did fags in packs of tension still

Misses point of thread

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 17/05/2022 16:37

Tens !!

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 17/05/2022 16:50

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 17/05/2022 16:37

Tens !!

I've never ever bought them EveryFlight (don't want to make it sound like I steal or poach them Wink )

It would have to be something that only the Unreasonable Co-Op woman could get ( so no point asking if they have raspbery youghurt then when she goes for it say Oh great , I;lll have an apricot fruit corner too
Shed tell you to get it yourself !

LittleMissMe99 · 17/05/2022 17:57

Why don't you just ASK? I'd just ask if I had done something to upset to her, and if so I would really like to know so I could have the opportunity to apologise if needed. Otherwise ask to speak to the manager and complain

MarvellousMay · 17/05/2022 18:02

I’d complain to head office after every visit. Make her their problem.

Madamum18 · 17/05/2022 18:15

Say good morning. She ignores. Say good morning again. If ignored again say "Can I ask if I have upset you in some way?" Or do that if she walks off when you are waiting to pay. Just ask and see what she says or does. If she is rude or whatever when you ask say "Well why are you being rude to me then?" And so on...

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 17/05/2022 18:21

I had a woman who regularly muttered ‘cunt’ whenever she was near me. (At least 70 odd - I’m 50 odd)

I asked her once if I’d done anything to upset her and got an absolute mouthful but no actual reason.

It went on over 10 years and only stopped when I passed her one day and the traitor dog went all lovey on her.

She still looks at me oddly but has stopped ‘cunting’ in my direction so I suppose there is progress of sorts.

I’m half expecting her to go all ‘don’t look now’ on my arse.

justfiveminutes · 17/05/2022 18:22

It was probably mistaken identity initially but now you're the one who complained about her to head office. She was out of order but don't know why you took the nuclear option instead of just asking her.

KettrickenSmiled · 17/05/2022 18:23

She still looks at me oddly but has stopped ‘cunting’ in my direction
😂😂😂😂😂

Always a bonus, eh Sheldon.

RenoSusan · 17/05/2022 18:25

"Hello. (no response). You must be a volunteer here because I'm sure your boss isn't paying you to be rude to me."

Ponoka7 · 17/05/2022 18:26

I'd tell her straight, something like "you're far to old to be eyerolling/whispering". You're in a position of power as the customer, so take back control.

@KettrickenSmiled, I wouldn't go into a local off licence when a certain staff member was on shift. I just refused to put money over the counter when she was in. I heard that the boss did have stern words with her because takings were always down when she was on, so I wasn't the only one. In the case of privately owned businesses, that tactic works. It can in chains as well. I wasn't going to have my mood brought down by her.

TabithaTittlemouse · 17/05/2022 18:33

pay for a big shop in pennies Wink

KittenKong · 17/05/2022 18:35

I worked with someone like that. Absolute batrag to me - refused to order coffee when I had meetings (it was her flipping job), bitched about me behind my back (my clothes, my accent…).

When I was actually leaving she realised that I wasn’t horrible/a cow.she was even nice to me.

She admitted that she had taken a dislike to me because… at my interview I had my hair pinned up in a French roll and she thought I ‘looked like a teacher’. (Actually I have alopecia and my fine hair looked like shit, I had a small child and hand t had a haircut in about three years and looked like Mad Cat Lady when it was let lose).

Absolutely bonkers. She is lucky I’m a nice person - or I would have told the partners the (anti Semitic) things she used to say about them.

KittenKong · 17/05/2022 18:38

Oh and we has a local shop like that but the lady behind the counter was miserable and horrible to everyone. The only time I saw her crack a smile (and laugh) was when I was picking up something from the lower shelf in the fridge cabinet and someone reached over me, grabbed a can of drink and promptly dropped it on my head).

Well, at least I brought a little joy into her life that day.

Roxy69 · 17/05/2022 18:53

I don't think confronting her in the shop would make you look good at all. I would write to her manager and ask him to intervene and explain exactly what the reason is that she doesn't treat you correctly, with the respect due to you as a customer. Say if it doesn't stop you will go higher up the chain, that should make the manager deal appropriately.

TyrannosaurusRegina · 17/05/2022 19:03

I'd just be rude back really. Filthy looks, chuck the money down on the counter etc. Show her that it's not just her that can be a cow!

nexus63 · 17/05/2022 19:08

i had this at a local chain store, i knew the name of the person and did say a few times that i would not be spoken to or treated that way and when it still continued i called head office and emailed them (so it was on record), when she still did the same thing i started asking for someone else to serve me. is she the manager? if not then the actual manger will not like constant complaints from head office about her staff. i have done this in other places, not just shops, my last two inpatient care at the same hospital but different wards, a level 1 doctor talking to me as if i was stupid and him being bored of me asking questions regarding my medication. if i can be polite and say please and thank you then i have the right to expect it from others. keep telling head office or ask for someone else to serve you.

Vanderama · 17/05/2022 19:14

You've called head office and ratted on her. No wonder she doesn't like you!

Bleachmycloths · 17/05/2022 19:16

It’s possible that Head Office claimed they’d taken action when they’d actually done nothing.

CambsAlways · 17/05/2022 19:30

I couldn’t put up with that! I’d call her out in front of other customers I really would you’ve done nothing wrong ! What a nasty ole bint! And I’m in sixties ! Do not ever allow anyone to treat you disrespectfully op! EVER!

Augustmummy · 17/05/2022 19:48

The key is to not give a flying f about her and her passive aggressive BS. Just totally get over the woman and live your life. Buy your stuff from the shop, pay for it and leave. The woman in your local shop with clear mental health issues does not need to plague your thoughts like this or waste your precious time on earth. My guess is that she is so unhappy with her own life that she gas lights people for kicks. Ignore her and move on - forget her and live your life and it will piss her off even more that you don't even notice she hates you ha ha.

ToughLoveLDN · 17/05/2022 19:49

Simple. Next time she’s rude to you you just say ‘ do you have a problem as everytime
im in here you are rude to me?’ And depending on her answer you say ‘ I’d like your name please as I will be complaining to the head office about you’

Wheresmywoolyjumpers · 17/05/2022 19:55

Not to rag on the Coop, but I worked there for a while and never saw such rude staff. The managers were really spineless, and I remember being told at induction that the Coop knew it had an issue with customer service. That store closed, there is a little local one near me and they are much better.

MummysBusy · 17/05/2022 20:05

So what's potentially "offensive" about you, OP? Black/brown? Single mum? Stranger in a small village? Openly gay?

ElizabethBoland · 17/05/2022 20:10

Sounds like the woman in the one stop near me, except she’s comically rude to nearly everyone