I know it's unreasonable.
But the love my in laws have for my kids is too much and it annoys me. I must start by saying, I don't get on with them very well. Lots of things have happened.
I think probably if we had a better relationship, it may not annoy me as much, but I don't know.
It's like my kids are the centre of their universe. Everything is about them and they constantly want to see them at every opportunity. If they haven't seen them for a week, I get messages saying they miss them. I also get told I need to send pictures and videos more often. When my in laws can't come, they pretty much send their other kids and they take constant videos of my kids to then show the in laws.
I send pics to them too and videos as they're always asking, but most of the time when I send something, they'll be some over the top concerned comment from my mother in law, about something really minor in the picture. For example, oh his eye looks swollen or - her hair looks pulled a bit tight, is she OK ? Or - if they even have a minor illness, she has to get really involved and push me to get more and more tests done, even though I'm comfortable in whatever the doctors have told me. She just has to be overly involved in everything and she stresses me out and ruins my mood when I send a nice pic, as she can't say anything nice and always knit picks.
Anyway I know how it sounds. How can I be irritated by someone loving my kids too much ? I sound like an absolute idiot. But they're my kids. I'm afraid my in laws want to gain lots of ground with my kids and will try to bring them up their way and be a huge influence on them. I believe kids should be raised by their parents and I don't want them to be raised to be carbon copies of their other kids. I want to have a big role to play ( the main role ) in how my kids will be raised. But I feel these constant demands for their time and having to be so involved in their lives is going to mean that they'll influence them massively. I don't think it's wrong for them to have a role in their lives, but I don't want to be on the sidelines of their lives, because my in laws ads second parents to them.
They can see them once every couple of weeks and I shouldn't need to be made to feel bad for them ' missing them so much ' after just a week. It's OTT. Anyway, I know I'll get my arse handed to me. But perhaps someone has something helpful to say ?
I feel like a tyrant if I ever say that we can't see them. I just can't say no. I've tried a few times and get theatrics. My in laws don't respect any of the boundaries I've ever tried to set. They're constantly wanting to take my kids to their house and away from me. They'll come round unannounced and tell me that they're taking my daughter to their house. Daughter gets excited because they set no boundaries for her there at all and she does what she wants there ( another problem ). And I just have to go along with it.
Any time I've ever stood up for myself and said no, my mother in law shouts, screams and cries and calls me a bad person and a bully. It's very difficult ! So she's managed to get me to a place where I hold my tongue as much as I can, to avoid a big fight and being called names by her. It's very difficult and feels suffocating.
I'm feeling extra territorial as I've just had a baby, so maybe that's what's prompted these feelings to become stronger.
I just feel like I should be the only one to love my kids this much and to show this amount of concern for them ? My parents are totally different. Whilst they love all their grandchildren a lot, I don't feel it's as excessive and overbearing.